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Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss


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  • 1 Post By Cait&AngelAbove
  • 1 Post By momology
  • 1 Post By MoonAngel702
  • 1 Post By Ame C

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February 12th, 2013, 01:09 PM
Beautiful Life!
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 2,081
As I posted before, I've been planning a baby shower for a friend. When I started the plans, we had just found out we were pregnant and I had even calculated how far along I would be by that time. Since the miscarriage, it's been harder and harder to be excited about the shower. Well, the shower is this Saturday. And I'm realizing I'm a big ball of emotions and having some anxiety about it. I want so badly to be happy for her and it to be fun, but at the same time, I'm still so sad for myself. It's possible I could have a bfp by then, so I've been praying that would help me feel better. But then, I think what if I don't? Or why does it matter, since we won't be announcing it that early? I don't know. It seems like I'm doing really well and then all of the sudden I'm slammed with sadness. Anyone have suggestions or advice with how to cope getting through this Saturday? I know once Saturday's over, I'm going to feel a huge burden lifted off my chest! I guess I could just really use support getting through it. I'm starting to cry just writing this. Ok. I'm done with the dramatics. Just knew you gals understand and could possibly give words of wisdom. Thanks.

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February 12th, 2013, 01:42 PM
Cait&AngelAbove's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 10,635
First I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I do not really have any advice on how to get through. I haven't gone to a single shower since we started ttc. My younger sister's shower was two weekends ago and I chose not to go... well DH chose for me. Now I do have family functions that I have to go to and I just put on a mask. I avoid baby conversations (which is hard at a shower). Then when I get home I allow myself to cry and fall apart. And there have been times during the function that I go to the bathroom breathe deeply and sometimes cry.
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February 12th, 2013, 02:21 PM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 6,452
Planning a shower must have been so difficult - and now you actually have to attend it! I am so sorry!!! I really wish I had some words of wisdom to give you but it is just such a tough situation

I think what Caitlin mentioned would help me - escape to the bathroom for some deep breathing and regrouping whenever you feel you need to (cry if you need to) - maybe carry some tissue in your pocket just in case. Maybe since you are the hostess you will be able to busy yourself in the hosting of it all - getting people drinks, putting out food, cleaning up behind things. . .

I hope the shower goes well - I will be thinking of you!!!
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Cautiously expecting Seamonkey #2 Due Oct 4th

Missing our angels:
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Early Miscarriage (5 weeks) - 12/2016

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February 12th, 2013, 04:50 PM
MoonAngel702's Avatar ~Staying Positive~
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Nevada
Posts: 2,594
I've been trying to think of some good advice and after reading what the other ladies had to say, I have to agree those are some good ideas! I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and it would be really tough having to go through that. I know you will find your strength and everything will turn out just fine! It's a great idea to try to just keep yourself busy with the party aspect of it and stay busy!

P.S.... I'm also hoping you get your BFP really soon! Do you know how many DPO you might be? I know how you feel about that. I wanted so badly to be pregnant with a sticky baby when the holidays rolled around b/c I really thought that would make handling them emtionally easier. So it really does make sense.

Wishing you the best of luck this weekend! Make sure to keep us posted on how it goes! I'm sure your friend will greatly appreciate it

Here's some for when you test! Praying you get a BFP!
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"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
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February 12th, 2013, 07:41 PM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,915
I wish I knew what to say to help. I struggle with these same issues and find the only thing that helps me is separating myself from the stress which may be harder to do at a party. Going to the bathroom for a few minutes to collect yourself, or accidentally "leaving something in the car" that you need to go check on are excuses you could use to leave the room. Another thing that helps me is keeping my mind busy or focused on other things, again that's harder to do at a party. I like what the ladies said about staying busy with the hosting work. After the party take a warm bath, cry, eat something sweet, ask DH for a back rub, snuggle up and watch one of your favorite movies/tv shows, just relax and enjoy your time knowing the baby shower is over and you wont have that grey cloud hanging over your head anymore. Thinking about you, I hope it's not too bad.
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February 12th, 2013, 09:31 PM
Beautiful Life!
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 2,081
Thanks ladies! Your thoughts really helped more than you may think or know! I'm going to keep all of these in mind when going and hopefully just thinking of the suggestions will help keep my mind occupied. I will let you all know how it goes.

MoonAngel702- I think I'm 5 dpo. Might be 6 dpo, if I o'd the same day I got my first pos. opk. So I'll be 9/10 dpo by Saturday. Going to be testing daily until then, praying and hoping. I know it may still be too early by then though too. Thanks so much for the baby dust!

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate it!

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