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Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss


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  • 1 Post By lelila

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March 13th, 2013, 09:37 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,235
I have been reading so much these past few weeks. I feel overwhelmed. Is there any GOOD news out there for women who are TTCAL? I feel like every medical article, every board and blog suggests that hope is in short supply for those of us who are TTCAL.

I had an OB, a Fertility Specialist and a Geneticist all tell us that we didn't have any underlying issues that would prevent us from conceiving and having a successful pregnancy. Why are these "experts" wrong? Why are our chances so low?

Ok, so these are all questions that no one can answer, especially a group of grieving, nervous moms to be. I'm having trouble being optimistic.

Feel free to tell me to take a pill and cheer up. I'm just venting.
Leia 42 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 41
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
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March 13th, 2013, 09:43 AM
Daisee37's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Twin Cities, MN
Posts: 1,974
I think there's lots of good news out there. I know SO many people who had multiple m/cs before having their babies. In fact, I don't know of anyone who wasn't ultimately able to conceive (I know there are plenty of women who can't, but I'm just saying from my personal experience, knowing lots of women who've miscarried, they've ALL gone on to have babies). I was actually surprised to learn how many women had a m/c before getting pg with their child... like, when we disclosed to others that we had to go through fertility treatment, then others came clean with us about what they went through to get pg, and lots of those people had stories involving one or more miscarriages.

On a personal note, I had 2 back-to-back miscarriages, and I'm now 9 wks pg. It's too soon to say we're in the clear, so I can't count us as a "success" story yet, but I definitely have hope this time.
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March 13th, 2013, 01:06 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,894
I frequent here every now and then, as I'm one of those success storys. I think that your chances of having a baby after multiple loss's are higher if you had previously given birth before. For the women who have multiple loss's without ever having a baby, it becomes harder as there is PROBABLY an underlying issue not figured out yet.

I have 4 children in my 20's and 30's with 2 m/c's in between them. One early loss and one later loss (14wks). I then re-married in my late 30's (38) and had 3 back to back loss's in that year. I was seen by a high risk OB and a RE, who both just said it was age related and previous cancer treatment that was giving me poor quality eggs. I was not able to receive any treatment for this, it was just a numbers game. They said 9/10 pregnancys would end in m/c for me. After my third loss I got pg with my rainbow baby 3mo later. I then had TWO more baby's at ages 40 and 41. No loss's in between those babys, just 3 back to back rainbows! Im now 42 and pregnant again, only 6wks along, so not sure how this one will turn out, Im sure Im due for a "bad" egg again.

But it does happen! Good luck to you and praying you get your rainbow so very soon.
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March 13th, 2013, 01:55 PM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 6,452
Some days it can be harder to find hope than others. I think you should stay positive though I have heard of so many success stories after multiple miscarriages! I hope you get your rainbow baby soon! Hang in there and feel free to vent any time!

Cautiously expecting Seamonkey #2 Due Oct 4th

Missing our angels:
Molar pregnancy loss (12 weeks) - 1/2013
Missed Miscarriage (10 weeks) - 6/2013
Early Miscarriage (5 weeks) - 12/2016

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March 13th, 2013, 04:11 PM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,235
Oh THANK YOU ladies. I am so sorry you have gone through such heart ache and despair, but I am comforted knowing that there is a chance. I appreciate your stories.

MomLopez - I am so grateful that you stopped by to tell your story. To know that someone my age has had three precious babies after losses. You have given me a gift I can't even begin to tell you how valuable it is. I pray you have the healthiest of pregnancies and look forward to see your beautiful baby pictures later this year.

Daisy and Momology - I feel so much hope for both of you. Daisy, I pray for a healthy pregnancy for you and a beautiful baby later this year. Momology, I know your story from the grief board and we have much in common. I hope your BFP comes quickly and that you too become a success story.

Thanks again ladies!
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Leia 42 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 41
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
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