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Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss


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August 30th, 2013, 03:43 PM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,624
After having a pregnancy loss your life, you yourself are never the same. It's something that can bring even the stronger man to his knees. How have you changed since your loss? Has it affected your relationship with your DH/SO? What have you done to keep your relationship strong?

My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11

Expecting my baby boy May 9th
Emergency cerclage put in 12/24

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August 31st, 2013, 08:59 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,481
It has been such long journey that I honestly don't remember who I was when it all began. Now I am overly emotional, clingy at times, suffer from extreme anxiety, have waves of depression, overprotective of 3 we do have on Earth, and 65 lbs heavier from years of treatments. When I asked my Dh what I used to be like he said, "Sweet, innocent, adventurous, happy, carefree."
Over the 4 losses, 11 years I think that I have become closer to my DH because we had to go through the losses together. He was my rock during all of the losses. Although we never grieve the same because it is my body that loses the babies , I think that at times he grieves harder because I atleast shared some small time with each of the babies. I felt the morning sickness, grew a baby bump, felt them move while he never had any of this. Also I feel alot of guilt after the losses because I feel like I have let him down.
Although I think of relationship has weathered the storm well, we definitely bicker more about expenses more now than we ever used to because it all adds up.

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August 31st, 2013, 10:24 AM
butterfly721's Avatar Mommy-to-be to a baby boy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 3,576
I've become more aware of how precious every moment of a pregnancy is. When I got pregnant, I was really worried about weight gain and giving up my anxiety medication. I was really concerned about how the pregnancy would affect my lifestyle and my body, even though I did really want the baby. I was very self-centered and thought a lot about me, me, me.

I think that if I get pregnant again, I will be more careful and I hope to enjoy the pregnancy more. I feel ashamed at how concerned I was about trivial things, like whether or not I would still be able to get my hair and nails done all the time. I feel a lot of guilt that the loss was my fault, that it was punishment for being so self-centered.

DH and I haven't talked too much about the loss. He knows that I'm upset about it, but we don't talk about feelings that much. Our relationship hasn't really changed since the loss.

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