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When I am feeling sad...*miscarriage mentioned*

Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss


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September 2nd, 2013, 05:48 PM
butterfly721's Avatar Mommy-to-be to a baby boy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 3,576
What do you do when you are feeling sad about your loss?

I have two reborn baby dolls that I bought on eBay and I like to hold one of them when I'm feeling sad about my miscarriage. They are both by the same artist. They are hand painted and weighted to feel kind of like a real baby. I don't know why, but sometimes it makes me feel better to hold one. Hopefully that doesn't make me sound totally weird.

Does anyone else do anything like this?

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September 2nd, 2013, 06:05 PM
Just keep breathing.
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,734
That's a beautiful thing to do.

When I'm feeling sad, I try to connect with my body. I breathe, I feel where the sadness is (heavy feelings in my head and chest, slump shoulders, clenched jaw, furrowed brow) and just try to "be there" in my body. I am a dancer (used to dance professionally, now teach and dance for fun) and it's been really strange feeling so disconnected with my body in the last year with my 3 losses.

I find this works better for me than trying to connect with my mind- it devolves into arguments with myself, unnecessary dwelling on worries or facts I can do nothing about, regrets, things I wish I had said or done. If I think it through, I'm worse off.
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September 2nd, 2013, 08:33 PM
butterfly721's Avatar Mommy-to-be to a baby boy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 3,576
Thank you so much, Mel.

I love that you connect with your body when you feel sad. I am going to try to do something similar. I love going to the gym and working out on the treadmill. Instead of just zoning out to music, I think I'm going to try to connect with myself while I'm there.

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September 3rd, 2013, 08:41 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,624
When I'm feeling really down I try to either spend time with DH (if he isn't busy) and if he is I try to do something I enjoy. Sometimes when I need time to think I go to where ever there is water. We have a pond & a creek I can walk to from my house. I love to just sit with my feet in the water and think. The sound of the moving water from the creek is one of the most relaxing sounds to me as well as all the nature.

BTW, I think it's really sweet what you do.
MelChicago likes this.

My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11

Expecting my baby boy May 9th
Emergency cerclage put in 12/24

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September 3rd, 2013, 08:44 AM
butterfly721's Avatar Mommy-to-be to a baby boy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 3,576
Thank you, Katie.

I love water, too. I wish that I lived near the ocean.

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September 3rd, 2013, 10:32 AM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 6,452
That is very sweet.

For me I do all sorts of things. I take walks around our lake, I bake cookies, vent to DH or on JM, and when I am really down I take off work and go visit one of my best friends and her 2 miracle twin girls and get some good baby snuggles in while I can talk everything over with her. That almost always pulls me out of it. Sometimes I just let myself cry though and snuggle up with my kitty and let it all out.

Cautiously expecting Seamonkey #2 Due Oct 4th

Missing our angels:
Molar pregnancy loss (12 weeks) - 1/2013
Missed Miscarriage (10 weeks) - 6/2013
Early Miscarriage (5 weeks) - 12/2016

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