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BFP anxiety?

Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss


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  • 2 Post By Danielle80

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January 6th, 2014, 06:46 AM
rabbitranch's Avatar est. 2000
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: central FL
Posts: 13,912
Have you ever been at that point in your cycle where you are actively trying for that BFP that you really desperately want, and then suddenly you start getting really scared about actually getting a BFP? Do you get nervous about another loss, or medical issues?

I really, really want to add a rainbow baby to my family but I am starting to really get anxious about having problems again. When I got the BFP for baby #4 when I saw that positive test my knees actually knocked together I was shaking so hard. After having #3 ten weeks premature and being so sick, I wasn't as emotionally ready as I thought to proceed with another pregnancy. I'm kind of feeling that way right now. Such a rollercoaster...how do you stay calm/positive that everything's going to be okay this next time?

Heidi, mama to 5 kiddos and an lost 11.25.13 at 11w5d
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January 6th, 2014, 08:07 AM
Danielle80's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Hunter Army Airfield (Richmond Hill), Ga
Posts: 3,667
YES!!! It hits me even before I start testing. I get scared that I will get sick or lose the baby or the baby will be sick. I start freaking out and then I pray. I say if it's your will for me to get sick to have our miracle baby then so be it. If it's your will for us to have another miscarriage then it's going to happen. If it's your will that we don't have another then I have to accept that. I know it sounds stupid but letting myself off the hook over huge things (that really aren't in our control anyway) makes me feel better. I don't know what the future holds for us but I know that I will handle it with Gods help. I am praying for all of us to have BFP's and healthy pregnancies.
Danielle: Mom to Caitlyn (16), Brooklynn (12), Jackson (8), Lincoln (5), & Baby Harrison

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January 6th, 2014, 11:42 AM
Rainbow Catcher's Avatar Bound and Determined
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,428
I know that when I get my BFP, I'm going to be scared, but I'm going to consciously make an effort to remain as stress-free as possible and leveled out. It's going to be tough, and I'm going to have my moments, but I am going to try my best to enjoy my pregnancy. It will be in the back of my head.. I don't think I'll ever feel the way that people who haven't had a m/c feel - there's almost a carefree air to them sometimes (though I'm sure everyone worries)).
Forever missing our angel, 6/7/13.

10/19/14 - DE IVF, Transferred two 8-cell embies (3dt)
10/28/14 - 1st Beta = 70 at 9dp3dt
10/30/14 - 2nd Beta = 163 at 11dp3dt
11/5/14 - 3rd Beta = 1300 at 17dp3dt
11/17/14 - U/S - Twins, both with flickers of heartbeats!
11/25/14 - One twin stopped growing and lost their hb. :'( The other measures perfectly, hb: 157.
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January 6th, 2014, 11:48 AM
The Purple Butterfly's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 10,118
Lots of prayer!!
Stacey, wife to Allan & mom to:

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January 6th, 2014, 12:56 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Mobile, AL
Posts: 1,498
I know the feeling well. On Saturday I had a breakdown, told DH I can't do this anymore, etc. After the 1st loss it wasn't as bad. I figured it was just a weird fluke thing and wouldn't happen again. After we saw the HB with the next pregnancy my fears pretty much diminished....then 4 weeks later we lost that one too. So this time I don't know how I'm ever going to relax. It's hard to imagine a BFP actually meaning in a few months a baby will be coming home. I hate that that innocence has been stripped from so many of us.
Mommy to 3 Super Heroes and a little princess

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January 6th, 2014, 02:23 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,688
Oh yeah... Regan still never sleeps more than about three hours at a time and I've been exhausted for more than a year now. Now that I'm having some symptoms I'm wondering if I'm freaking out of my mind! How would I cope with no sleep and morning sickness? What if something happens and I can't pick Regan up? She's still not walking and she weighs upwards of 35 pounds... what then?What if my milk dries up and weaning is a massively painful thing for all of us? But I'll be very disappointed if I get a BFN. And then I'll start the whole fun ride over again next month!

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January 7th, 2014, 04:44 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,624
Ever since my first loss every single time I have been pregnant I am absolutely terrified. I have never had a successful pregnancy... but even so I don't think I will ever feel safe while pregnant. I don't even know if the fear will leave when I hold my rainbow baby that's how deep my fear runs. You are definitely not alone.

My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11

Expecting my baby boy May 9th
Emergency cerclage put in 12/24

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January 7th, 2014, 07:15 AM
rabbitranch's Avatar est. 2000
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: central FL
Posts: 13,912
Well I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who feels like this but it really is sad, too :/ I wish everyone could have a smooth journey into parenthood.

Katie, when we had our little girl at 30 weeks and they started giving us survival odds and then she had the typical scares in the NICU and came home this tiny thing with 2 heart defects and on an apnea monitor, we were just beyond scared. Then her second night home with us she aspirated reflux and stopped breathing and I had to give her CPR to get her going again. She'll be seven years old next month and we still have moments of fear if she goes for too long without visual contact or sleeps in late or hides a little too well for a game of hide-and-seek. You can suffer post-traumatic stress from traumatic births and losses and I don't think that ever really goes away. ((hugs))

Heidi, mama to 5 kiddos and an lost 11.25.13 at 11w5d

Last edited by rabbitranch; January 7th, 2014 at 06:32 PM.
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January 7th, 2014, 01:59 PM
butterfly721's Avatar Mommy-to-be to a baby boy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 3,576
I know I will be scared if I ever get pregnant again. Having a miscarriage was such a sad experience. I don't want to go through that again. I want a healthy, happy baby, so I know I am going to worry a lot. Of course, I will be excited and happy, too, but I think it's perfectly natural and understandable to be anxious.


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