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December 21st, 2006, 05:23 AM
*Cassie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada
Posts: 18,780
I'm going to post this here too because I feel comfortable with you girls and, well, I really need to get it out.

A little background, my maternal grandparents both died this July. If you are interested, the whole story is here.

We always went to Grammie and Grampie's house every Christmas. This year isn't going to be different.

We're leaving tomorrow and coming back the 27th. I don't know if it's just me, but I think we're just torturing ourselves. My 2 cousins I've talked to feel the same. Mom says it's important for everyone to be together one more time, which I get, but why at that house? I don't think I can sleep in that house, especially not for 4 nights.

Going to that house is just torture, to have to walk in and Grampie not be sitting at the table like he always was. To have to turn on lights, unlock the door, turn heat on... I think Aunt Mary is going to go there before we do and decorate the tree so we don't have to.. because that would be a killer too.

Christmas without them is going to be super hard, but even worse in their house. Christmas morning there will be no coffee brewing, the house won't smell like cigarettes, there wont' be a wood fire... I could go on...

As if the whole thing weren't bad enough, Christmas Day will be 5 months since Gram died, the day after, Grampie.

I just don't know how I'm going to handle this... I'm not sure I can...

Being there after the funeral was bad enough, but I think going there now is just making this much harder than it has to be...I've done ok with not thinking about it too much but the closer the holiday gets the more I do and I just keep running it through my head of what it's going to be like to be in that house without them...

I'm so not looking forward to Christmas this year...
RIP Grammie (06/24/35 - 07/25/06) and Grampie (08/18/26 - 07/26/06). I love you both and I miss you so much...
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December 21st, 2006, 07:18 AM
tricksy22's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,967
I am so sorry...that does sound kinda scarey. I wouldn't want to go there either, like you said the missing of you grandparents in the house and all the memories of them would just make it so sad. But on the other hand, ya'll can talk about the good times and remember all the good things about them and the things that happened every year in the house at Christmas time.

Carson 3/24/06
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December 21st, 2006, 07:21 AM
ERICKA77's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Mother Earth
Posts: 13,346

The first holiday is always the hardest! I feel for you.

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December 21st, 2006, 07:50 AM
*Valerie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: VA
Posts: 50,688
I can totally relate--after my Grandmother died, it was so hard having to go back up to the house (she lived across from my parents) and go through things. When they started renovating--even tougher because then we were getting rid of her stuff and it was so hard. Now that it's renovated it's not so bad, but there are just SOOOOOO many memories. I would have a very hard time as well, but just remember that your family is there with you. It will be hard on all of you, but try to use the time to remember the fun things and the wonderful memories. We will be thinking of you!
♥Thanks you jaidynsmum for my awesome siggy ♥

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December 21st, 2006, 02:53 PM
MellieB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Melbourne, Aust.
Posts: 64,110
sweetie. I don't think I would want to spend the holidays in that situation either.

Thanks to Claire1979 for the amazing siggy.

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