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Forum: Not Trying Not Preventing


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July 27th, 2012, 10:06 AM
katiedid's Avatar Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: the Mitten state
Posts: 15
Afternoon, everyone!
So, I'm new...sorta.

I was on the Newlyweds TTC board a couple of years ago. We were trying for #1 for about a year, when I found myself suddenly and devastatingly divorced. I won't go into that here, but I'm very open about everything, so if you have any questions, I don't mind sharing. Anyway, that was a ****** year and now it's over, and my life is undeniably better and sweeter for it.
That said, I'm no newbie to this whole thing. I was a complete slave to the torment of TTC. I never want to go down that road again. I think NTNP is exactly where I'm meant to be, and exactly how we were meant to make this happen, should we be graced with the presence of a tiny one.
Fast forward to now.
I am in an interesting spot. I have a sweetheart. He's the most incredible thing. If I believed in "The One," I'd say he's it- and I don't throw emotions like that around lightly. He knows what I've been through, he's gentle with my heart, and his greatest dream in life is to be a father (everyone told me those men don't exist: THEY DO). He also knows my history with TTC, and that any measures taken against getting "knocked up" go directly against the very core of my belief- that I was made to do this. When you've tried for something for a while (a year is no small chunk of time, but I'm also aware that it's peanuts compared to what other women have been through- and KUDOS to you champions- you are far stronger than I could ever dream), you just can't wrap your mind around trying to KEEP that from happening. So here we are. Not trying, but sure as hell not preventing. We just do it when we wanna, and if it happens, then we're ready.
Other things you might want to know-
I'm 28. I'm fiercely positive. I'm really good at spelling but really bad at typing. I swear a lot. I hope I don't get in trouble for that. I'm not snarky- I believe in unrelenting kindness. You just never know what people are struggling with. I have a dog, and he is fantastic. He has one blue eye and one brown one and he cuddles people nearly to death, considering his 75lb frame. His name is Steve McQueen. I'm REALLY GOOD at baking. I do hand-lettering and freelance styling. I have a terrific family. I really like foxes.
I guess I'm here because I can't talk about any of this without people being like BUT YOU'RE NOT MARRIED and YOURE ONLY 27 WHATS THE RUSH or OMG ARE YOU PREGNANT YET and DONT WORRY ITLL HAPPEN. And you guys seem like the right crowd to help me sort through those mixed emotions every time AF shows up and you think "oh thank goodness, we do not have the money for a baby" and also "wow. failed again. what if this just never happens for me."
So, I guess that's me.
Any questions?
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July 27th, 2012, 08:10 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,084

I love how you said you feel like "oh thank goodness, we do not have the money for a baby" & "Wow. failed again. what if it never happens to me" that is pretty much my exact thought... although its not really about money, just not being ready!

What I'm learning is that it doesn't matter at all what others think or say, its about what feels right for you! It just isn't as easy as some people make it out to be.

I have found this to be a pretty understanding and no judgemental group!
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July 28th, 2012, 07:19 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,788
Hi. I'm new again to this board too. I'm a momma of 3 boys, but I wouldn't mind another. However, I don't dare tell people that. I already get the, "you know how babies are made, right?" So I completely understand the problems with talking to people irl. I also had a friend whose doctor told here she would most likely never be able to conceive a child. She wasn't married yet, but they both wanted children so they ntnp & were blessed with a miracle. They are planning their wedding, but giving her history (& she is 8 years older than you) who cares what order she's doing things!

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