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Inlaw issues. *sigh*

Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders


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April 13th, 2008, 10:14 AM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Central California
Posts: 16,959
My in-laws are driving me crazy. I'm feeling a bit livid right now, so sorry if this post jumps all over the place, lol. Now that Zack has been accepted for an eval for Aspergers, we have been telling people. I wish we could just hide it from the inlaws for forever though rather than deal with their reactions...

MIL says she's "known" (not suspected--known) for a while (which doesn't bother me too much, I mean I think we're all looking back and seeing the big warning signs in hindsight), BUT then launches in on dh that it's all our fault for vaxing Zack. When dh suggested that Aspergers tends to "run in families" moreso than classic autism she then said that his little brother "had it as a child." Past tense (no dx, therapy, or treatment of any kind, btw), which bothers me in the first place, but secondly, he was never vaxed at all. So I'm not sure how her reasoning works with that one...

THEN, dh spoke with FIL--who is complete opposite of MIL. HE says "That teacher is an idiot, she doesn't know what she's talking about, there is nothing wrong with Zack. Just ignore her. You don't need to do anything." *sigh* Then dh told him that *I* was the one who approached the teacher, not the other way around, she agreed with me, and the dr. agrees that he needs an eval. I don't know how he responded to that, but he basically thinks that we're all paranoid....

I'm dreading the conversation that will inevitably have to occur between them and ME. Let me just say--without going into details--that they are the last ppl I would EVER accept parenting advice from.

Anyone else have to deal with wacko inlaws? How do you handle them?

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April 13th, 2008, 03:08 PM
picklesmama's Avatar <;,><
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 22,604
How infuriating! I haven't had to deal with anything like that from my family, I feel very fortunate. And Andy's family are not in the picture. So, I have no advice stemming from experience, but my in general advice would be just to ignore them. With some people there is no point in arguing, they have made up their mind and they aren't even listening to you. I'm sorry your in-laws are like this
When hubby's family was in the picture, I just let them say what they wanted and smiled and did things my way anyhow. Until it came to the smoking around the kids, which I would not allow, which is a big part of why they are not a part of our lives. MIL actually won't come visit if she can't smoke! Her loss But that's another story, not to hijack your post! I guess my point is you have to pick your battles. Unless your in-laws opinions and POVs are hindering Zack's progress in some way, I'd just shake it off.

Crissy mama to Jack 7.16.01 ~ Mia Bella 10.29.02
Angus Pickle 2.24.04 ~ Sydney Bean 10.26.06 & Kater Tot 2.15.09

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April 13th, 2008, 05:52 PM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: North
Posts: 7,824
Yes, I've had that problem too. Not as much now as we did in the past. I do a couple of things. If I feel that I have the energy to, I try to educate a little...until someone tunes me out Or, if I'm not in the mood, I just smile, nod, and change the subject . We've gotten all kinds of comments but most of them are due to dd's moods and we have family members who think we spoil her and others who think we're too mean. Unfortunately these opinions aren't just that of our family, some of the specialists have told us the same thing..."that she needs a good spanking" or "you say no too much". We can't win sometimes.
I just put them on "ignore"
Tammy, Mom to
Abby (19), Kacie (13), Chase (11), & Jacob (7)

"...They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!" ~ Bobby ~ Supernatural
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April 13th, 2008, 06:30 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,966
That has to be so infurating. I would just try my best to ignore them.
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April 13th, 2008, 11:01 PM
soImarriedAnerd's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Depends on the day....Earth :D
Posts: 28,951
DH got a job that moves us to the other side of the planet from them! They still drive us crazy though.
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April 14th, 2008, 12:39 PM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Central California
Posts: 16,959
Thanks ladies!

DH got a job that moves us to the other side of the planet from them! They still drive us crazy though.[/b]
Well, they don't have much interest in being involved in our kids lives. They used to live about a mile away from us (if that!), and we saw them maybe once a year, and they're retired, so it's not like they had jobs keeping them busy. Dh says they just aren't "kid people." Now that they're 2 hours away it's even less.

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