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Bribing my son then feeling guilty...

Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders


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February 15th, 2012, 08:06 AM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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Location: Manchester, UK
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He is going through such a phase with school, he just doesn't want to know! argh! He made such a fuss on the playground this morning, saying that one of the kids was going to hurt him (none of them were doing anything to suggest it at all), screaming and throwing himself on the floor, biting my hand when I got him to stand back up, and straight out telling his LSA "I don't want to work!"

We've been bribing him all week! Monday I told him if he was good at school we could book a travelodge (like a motel) for Monday night to stay overnight in the countryside between two days out. Tuesday I promised him a treat from Tesco if he was good at school - he got finger crayons and a book of stickers. Today I have promised him a McDonalds for tea if he has been good, but not too sure what sort of report I'm going to get after that inauspicious start.

I'm just trying to get him through the week really, it's half-term next week and I know he can't wait, we're counting down the days with him as well. We are on good terms with the school and tell them about his concerns - I told his LSA what he had said this morning in case she can get to the bottom of it, but I doubt anything has happened with another child tbh - it's just any excuse.

How awful am I being bribing him like this?

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February 15th, 2012, 10:38 AM
AlexKatieAiden Mommy's Avatar Linda
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Wisconsin
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I do the same thing on certain days, and then feel guilty because I feel like I shouldn't have to bribe him but it does work. I've been doing it more these past two weeks as Alex has been so aweful and I don't know why (I'm thinking it has to do with anxiety but not sure).

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February 16th, 2012, 12:01 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,492
I bribe on every school day and sometimes in between. Anything from Wii time to a new movie rental to a day at Bounce U. I don't feel guilty. He is being rewarded for good behavior. I'm human, it works so I use it. I don't see a problem with it. Isn't bribing/rewarding how all ABA stuff works? Potty training is even M&M's or stickers or whatever. Don't say, bribe. Say reward and then pat yourself on the back for using positive reinforcement instead of spanking and yelling for negative behavior. You're doing great!

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February 16th, 2012, 12:55 PM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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I don't know anything about ABA, it's not offered over here.

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