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Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders


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  • 2 Post By Spyctre
  • 3 Post By smsturner
  • 1 Post By Spyctre
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December 2nd, 2012, 09:05 PM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freaking Louisiana
Posts: 9,231
I hear this far too often, and I know people are just trying to be positive about Alice, but I am really tired of the comments about how Autistic children are savants.

"She will be brilliant at something one day, you'll see!" or...

"Imagine what Mozart or Einstein would have been if their parents didn't let them reach for the stars!"

And it makes me really sad because I've regularly been around four children with Autism, and none of them are showing any Forest Gump behavior yet. The oldest is 12. None can do complicated Algebraic Equations in their heads, none are geniuses at building things, and I haven't seen one that was clever with dates or music... I feel like they are trying to set me up for one big disappointment.

I love my child dearly, but honestly she can't comprehend that she needs to use the potty when she's naked AND clothed. She is constantly naked here because she is completely potty trained with nothing on her butt. She doesn't understand that sound travels. She will do things with our backs turned thinking we are clueless about it. What are they trying to convince me of? Because I can't even get it through to my almost 5 year old that she needs to be quiet and back up from the rocking chair while I put her sister to sleep. Can't get her to understand only two vitamins a day, or that eating paper is for goats and not little girls!

She figures things out, true, but so do crows and squirrels. If my child had to live alone for a week with a single loaf of packaged bread, she would starve because she couldn't even open it! I really just wish they could stop telling me these things that aren't normal. "Well they say that they're really smart! They all have something that they are great at!"

Yeah, and Alice's is mimicking lines from Sesame Street. I wish they'd just let her be, let me be. She's fine how she is, an adorable little girl that sounds like Elmo. And she is **** cute!

Carwen*Angel and smsturner like this.
James Arwen est. April 2, 2005
Alice Marie - January 9, 2008
Winter Rose - February 14, 2012
Liliana Vale - September 25, 2013

Daniel Constantine - July 19, 2016
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December 5th, 2012, 02:43 PM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,884
You're right. She is adorable. I'm sorry for your struggles. I say 'it's not easy to be marcus' mom sometimes'. But I wouldn't trade him for anything.

I know what you mean. My 11 year old is an aspie. He has a very very hard time with school. Marcus is smart. But it doesn't matter right now with every day life. It doesn't matter when he races into the street without thinking, or jumps down the stairs without thinking there could be consequences. It certainly doesn't help at all when his main problems have nothing to do with it.

I am worried he will never be able to make a friend that will love him. I could care less if he can do algebra. I want to know that he is happy and safe. Not that someday he could be an amazing pianist. And I want people to love him for the quirky little guy he is, instead of something he might do in the future. Can't they just love his sweetness, his quirks and his ability to look past everything around him?

One of my best upsides with marcus? He's 11 and he has NO idea that it's not cool to hug his mom in public and tell her he loves her. The best upside ever. Jeez I love that kid so much. <3
Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (15), ds Marcus (13), Our together miracle, baby Dean, 17 months

Crazy enough to try all over again for a second together baby! Hoping for a much less wild ride this time!

TTC with PCOS for 5 very long years. Annovulatory cycles. Multiple doctors. Different meds. One horrible loss. And then one wonderful success, born 2/18/14.

I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26/13
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December 5th, 2012, 07:17 PM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freaking Louisiana
Posts: 9,231
Awww =) Alice hugged my neck the other day, hugged me for no reason other than that she wanted to hug me. That's happened maybe 3 times so I was really excited.

I just hope that she can be the best she can be one day. Maybe not live alone, but in her own apartment with people there to help her around the clock. I'd like her to go and pick out Christmas cards one day, I really don't mind that she isn't Picasso. Just to talk and comprehend things.
Carwen*Angel likes this.
James Arwen est. April 2, 2005
Alice Marie - January 9, 2008
Winter Rose - February 14, 2012
Liliana Vale - September 25, 2013

Daniel Constantine - July 19, 2016
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January 9th, 2013, 10:51 AM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 66,538
Awww, yay for the hugs!!!

I believe everybody has a niche they are destined for in life, if only they can find it.

I guess these people are only trying to be nice and positive for you when they see things might be hard, but I understand, I don't like any suggestion that Daniel isn't perfect just the way he is as well. My friends and family, luckily, wouldn't dream of suggesting he wasn't...but I do occasionally get aggravating comments from the professionals he comes across and/or other parents on the schoolyard.

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