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Another question about discipline

Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders


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February 6th, 2008, 09:39 AM
fiefer87's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Near Buffalo, NY
Posts: 4,336
Alright, my dd will be 6 in April and we are running into problems with discipline. She has global developmental delays and moderate MR in addition to the autism and is now hitting the "terrible twos" and getting into all sorts of mischeif. So we have tried time outs, ignoring the behavior, redirection, overcorrection, loss of toys, substituting more appropriate behaviors for some of the stimming, everything we can think of, but nothing seems to really work. She is not motivated by much except music and we can't take that away. She loves her movies, but after a day without them, she could care less. We haven't tried a sticker chart or anything like that because I don't think she really understands the concept. If anyone has suggestions on how else to discipline I'd appreciate it.

Oh, and I almost forgot, any discipline that does seem to work, doesn't stick. She'll repeat all the same behaviors either later on or the next day. It doesn't seem like anything we do really impresses upon her that certain things are just not acceptable (like climbing on the back of the couch).
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February 6th, 2008, 01:15 PM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: North
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It may be that she repeats it because she is in the "terrible twos" so to speak and thats what two year olds do best...get into things and do all sorts of things they shouldn't....I know, that wasn't a helpful thing to say at all was it? I do know what you mean though because at 14, my oldests really functions at the level of an 8 yr. old....for the most part.

I mentioned this in another thread but it may be that she doesn't connect what she's doing with the consequence and the only way their brain can learn to connect it is to repeat the same kinds of consequences over and over until the connection is made. It could take minutes, days, weeks, or longer. Also, right now, even though she's doing the same things and getting the same results for consequences, each time she does it, its like a new experience to her because for a lot of kids on the spectrum, learning from experiences is a very difficult concept to grasp. Again, its the repetition that they usually need. For example, its taken my dd 5 yrs. to learn how to take an appropriate shower on her own. I've told her and showed her on many occasions what she needs to do but every I would let her do it on her own, she would come out still stinky and with dirty hair. If I wasn't walking her through it, she didn't do it properly. For her, every time she got into the shower, it was like the first time. As she was always very rule oriented, I never had trouble with her getting into things she shouldn't....she followed the rules and made sure everyone else did too (Aspergers's). It was always the mood and her inflexibility that was the biggest issue for us. We've stuck mainly w/ the time outs in her room because loss of privileges or sticker charts were never incentive enough....we're just big "repeaters" here..the theory is that if you repeat the scenerio enough, they'll eventually get it. Its worked here but sometimes we get very discouraged when it takes sooooooooooooo long.
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February 6th, 2008, 02:17 PM
fiefer87's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Near Buffalo, NY
Posts: 4,336
I had a feeling that was probably what is going on, but you just don't want to think about that, because like you said, it takes ssssoooooooooooooo long. I have a feeling that we will probably end up with just the time outs and repeated consequences until she gets it. Hopefully, she'll get better once she's out of the "terrible twos" but somehow, I think this is just where we are, she wants to do all these things and not follow the rules - I wish she was more like your dd. can't get her to follow the rules for the life of me.
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February 7th, 2008, 05:55 AM
outnumbered's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Knock on wood, but Hunter hasn't really had behavior issues. When it comes to that, he's sometimes way to mellow/easy going. Only the past couple of years is he actually telling people to stop that or give that back, etc. What we've had to do is find things that gets him involved.

He's also one for rules; if you teach him a game that can be played in different ways, he'll always insist on playing the first way he was taught.

I've been considering hanging his visual scheduels back up. He goes into the bathroom to use the toilet/shower/brush teeth, and an hour later I'm hollaring at him to stop hogging the bathroom, and he comes out having forgotten to do one of the things he was supposed to do. In the shower I know he's distracted by the falling water; that has always been, and probably will always be, something he breaks away to go to, play with water someway. We've had so many talks about using smaller amounts of shampoo/soap because he plays with the bubbles; he went thru a child's size bottle in two showers. I bought a pump for the soap and told him one pump of each for one shower. I remind him before he gets in and while he's showering to get my point across.

That probably didn't help you much!
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