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Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders


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February 22nd, 2008, 05:35 PM
MrsStuartD's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 23,164
Do you ever feel like you have to defend your children in group situations? When I take Cameron to his playgroup he is the only autistic boy. So I feel like when I'm talking to other moms and they start talking about their toddlers achievements, that when it's my turn I have to add "but he's autistic so that's great for him". Like I have to explain why he's not doing the same things as their toddler's.

My son is super smart and sweet, and he's such a good boy. Why do I feel like I need to be on the defensive all the time? He's 2.5yrs old and can identify every letter of the alphabet and his numbers from 1-10 as well as the primary colors (and 4 other colors). I think that's great for 2.5 yrs right? With or without the autism?

Urgh. I don't know.

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February 24th, 2008, 08:11 AM
outnumbered's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: On Top of Mt. Laundry
Posts: 3,943
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Yes. I was like that sooo much in the beginning. Even now, when he's 10, I want to say something, but I find myself talking to him, asking him to save his stimming, "crazy fingers" for homes because it is something that is goofy.

You want to defend him because he can't speak up/or won't defend himself, depending on age. Hang in there, I know it's rough. Sometimes it's best to ignore it, sometimes you have to say something so people aren't so ignorant, and sometimes you can't help yourself.
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I am a breastfeeding, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, no crying it out, baby wearing mama of 3 boys, one of which has autism. Meet my boys here (having technical difficulties with my website). My blogs are On Top of Mt. Laundry and The Cache Checkers.

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February 24th, 2008, 11:36 AM
MrsStuartD's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 23,164
Thank you for your reply! I was starting to wonder if I was the only mom out there who has ever felt this way! I'm so glad I'm not alone.

Thanks Nicole (MommaDucks) for my new & awesome siggy.
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February 25th, 2008, 08:16 AM
fiefer87's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Near Buffalo, NY
Posts: 4,336
Believe me, you're not alone. I always feel like I am defending Alexis. Not only is she autistic, but she's also visually impaired and has moderate MR, so she is very globally delayed (not even potty trained at 6 yet). We are so proud of everything she has accomplished so far, but to the outsider, they have no clue. Its getting better since most people we talk to know her very well and understand, but out in public when people look at us strange or people we don't know very well say something, I always feel the need to defend her. I post a lot on the gradeschooler board since she is in special ed K, and I usually end up saying something, more so that other moms who maybe new to the board understand the whole picture.

I find I sometimes get disheartened hearing what the "normal" kids are doing at this age, but then I just remember she is a special child and she will develop in her own time.
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February 25th, 2008, 12:40 PM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: North
Posts: 7,824
Yes, I still do that sometimes. I even do that with my "average" kids. Just to a lesser degree.

I think he sounds like he's doing fantastic!
Tammy, Mom to
Abby (19), Kacie (13), Chase (11), & Jacob (7)

"...They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!" ~ Bobby ~ Supernatural
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