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I know my dh is probaly still in denial

Forum: Children with Developmental Delays and Disorders


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March 21st, 2008, 10:51 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
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Dh keeps telling me that Jay does not eat well. There is not much he will eat. There is one time where he was trying to make Jay eat something he did not want to. I said do not make him eat if he does not want to. He got upset and keeps telling me that Jay picked up on that and basically somehow its my fault that Jay is picky. He used to eat a variety of food but now his diet is a little more limited. For example he used to love eating rice and beans and any kind of pasta but now forget it. I am lucky if I can get him to take one bite of this stuff. I wish he would eat more of a variety of food and all I can do is offer it. What the heck does he expect me to do, shove food down his throat and make him afraid of food??!! He keeps saying to treat him like a normal child and even children that do not have Autism will test you. Yeah thanks I already know that. I try to tell him that its normal for Autistic children to have a limited diet of what they will eat but he just not get it. He gets upset because Jay is not eating the stuff he thinks he should be. It gets irratating after awhile because it feels like he is taking a shot at me as a mother.

I told him do you read up on Autism you do not. I said you really do not know alot about it. He says I do not need to. I know that he is still in denial but it gets so frustrating after awhile. Usually I just let him talk and try not to get upset. Thanks for letting me vent.
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March 22nd, 2008, 09:03 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: North
Posts: 7,824
Abby restricts herself to very bland foods. I think that if I allowed it, her diet would consist of nothing but macaroni and cheese and PB&J. She's actually the best veggie eater out of all my kids though. However, she will not eat meat of any kind. When she was very little, she did like meatloaf but wouldn't even eat that anymore after a certain age. She doesn't like foods that are very spicy, vinegary, minty, and she hates carbonated beverages. She's very sensory with foods.

As far as "normal" kids having similar issues, its true and I have one. My 6 yr. old likes almost NOTHING and it drives me insane when its time to make a meal. I put the word "normal" in quotes because I don't know as I think there are really any "norms" and that we all have our quirks. Maybe not enough quirks to have a dx but quirks nonetheless Anyhow, he's super picky which I think relates to sensory issues of some sort.

Are there any foods your dh doesn't like? If so, maybe you should try to "make" him eat those...I'm sure that would go over real well with him..NOT My dh likes almost everything for food so he doesn't get the whole "picky/sensory" thing either. I get it because I'm quite picky and now that I know more about it, its definitely a sensory thing. Maybe dh doesn't want to read up on it because if he starts really looking into it, he has to acknowledge that Jay really has Autism. Until then, he can kind of pretend its not there and think that if you two treat him like he's normal, he'll be normal. I'm hoping that with time, he'll come around and work with you more.
Tammy, Mom to
Abby (19), Kacie (13), Chase (11), & Jacob (7)

"...They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!" ~ Bobby ~ Supernatural
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March 22nd, 2008, 11:17 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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Thanks Tammy! I agree with dh to a certain extent. There were foods that Jay loved and now will not touch. I used to get frustrated when he would not eat things he loved before but I have learned that it will not help. I mean all I can do is offer it to him. I know Jay eats a little bit more variety then other children with Autism.
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March 24th, 2008, 11:52 AM
Bug-n-Ed's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,521
It's very normal for all children to go through spurts of not liking/eating what they used to like/eat. Food is one the of the few things children have control over in their lives. If you make a big deal about trying to shove food down their throats, they are more likely to eat even less.

As far as balanced diet goes, don't worry about it in a day or even a week, look over a couple of weeks and see if he's had some food from each food group. Also, as kids get older they may stop eating as much due to the fact that they aren't growing as quickly. Then a growth spurt comes along and they are eating tons again.

I really wouldn't worry about it too much. If you want, you could bring it up with your pedi and see what he/she suggests. I know a lot of early intervention programs have nutritionist available as well.
Mommy to Brandon (12) and Edward (10)
Emma and Ellie (4)

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March 25th, 2008, 12:06 PM
picklesmama's Avatar <;,><
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Are there any foods your dh doesn't like? If so, maybe you should try to "make" him eat those...I'm sure that would go over real well with him..NOT [/b]

Gus used to eat more variety as well. Now he will only eat about 6 things. I offer the food we are eating alongside the food I know he will eat. They also work on trying new things with him at school. I hope your DH comes around.

Crissy mama to Jack 7.16.01 ~ Mia Bella 10.29.02
Angus Pickle 2.24.04 ~ Sydney Bean 10.26.06 & Kater Tot 2.15.09

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March 25th, 2008, 01:03 PM
MrsStuartD's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Cameron has been getting pickier and pickier this week. I always make him "try" it even if he cries through it. After that if he won't eat I give him something he likes.

I'm sorry your DH is giving you a hard time. DH came with me when we went to talk to a nutritionist about Cameron's eating habits. Maybe you could set up an appointment and have DH go with you?

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