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So frustrated!!!!

Forum: Potty Training


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May 6th, 2010, 09:37 PM
nikki52687's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 686
Hi, I have never posted here but I was scrolling through just mommies and saw it. So I figured I would post even if it is nothing more than a vent. I have a daughter, Lily, she just turned 2 last month. In december, she asked to potty one morning and was dry all day. Within a month, she was totally potty trained. I was surprised, but happy. The very end of januray, her dad came back into her life, (he has been in and out for 2 year) and he was granted weekly visits every sunday and monday pretty much all day. For the first 3 weeks, she did fine with the potty for both of us, then for about 3 weeks she had accidents for them, but not me. Then she had one for me here and there too, but was having several for them. Now, she is going like 3-4 times a day in her pants. After 3 months of taking her all over in panties and not worrying about it at all, now I am changing her a couple times a day or putting pull ups on. I know she is young and I was not expecting her to be trained by now, but she did it herself and did great, so i am really frustrated now. At one point, a couple months ago she woke up from a nap in the car and had to potty, we were still a couple min from where we were, so I said "ok, hold on a min", she cried and squeezed her legs, obviously uncomfortable she had to go that bad, but would not pee in her diaper, now she just pees without flinching, then tells me "potty" It just makes me want to cry!!

Ok, thanks for letting me vent...any advice??
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May 11th, 2010, 06:08 PM
Posts: n/a
Well, honestly, I don't think she was potty trained after just one month. She may have gotten the idea, but I think she probalby would have had accidents after awhile.

I think the bulk of what you are seeing now, is just a stress/change in her life - her dad coming back. It really does take it's toll and because of her dad coming back, it's going to cause some regression.

However, don't go back and forth between panties and pull-ups. It's going to confuse her a lot. If you started out with panties before, stick with that, even if she does have accidents. Sucks for you becuase you're the one having to clean up, but it won't confuse her. Don't get sucked into the "I hate washing these, I'll just put her in pull-ups and try her again tomorrow" attitude. Won't work. There needs to be consistency, so even if it sucks to have to clean her up or do laundry, she'll learn MUCH faster by going with one thing and sticking with it

She's in the perfect age range to start potty training (between 2-3), so keep working on it. She'll get it again and sooner than later, she'll be back to where she was
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May 14th, 2010, 09:30 PM
TaraJo29's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,755
I'm just lurking but thought I would add my 2 cents.

I agree that I would not switch back to pull-ups unless out of pure desperation (like you're going to church and you don't want to take the chance she'll have an accident mid-hymn - but I would tell her it's just "in case" ...and tell her do NOT pee in it and to let you know if she has to go. Obviously have her pee before you leave. That's just an example.) Otherwise, I would keep her in what I call "fortified" panties. (Like Gerber's padded training undies.)

It's hard to know what happened but I would say they were probably not paying attention to her when she had to go pee because they don't know her cues like you do, or she isn't comfortable telling them, or is so busy when she's with them she forgets to tell them she has to go and they weren't reminding her like she needed to be reminded. It sounds to me like she just got out of the habit because they weren't being diligent about whatever your routine was with her in the same way you were. That will totally undo what you already had under way.

I would make clear to whoever watches her exactly what your routine is potty-wise, what her cues are, and if she needs reminded and how often. I would even get her the exact same potty to keep at gramma's or wherever. Sounds like she knows the deal but just needs to keep the consistency. You might have to make her sit on the potty and try to pee again even if she says she doesn't have to go in order to back track a bit and keep her dry during the day.

Hope this helps. Good luck!
Mom to Titus (12), Isaiah (10), Noelle (8), Joel (6), Hannah (4), Elijah (1), and baby due Nov 4!

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May 16th, 2010, 02:05 PM
challowell's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Caldwell, Ohio
Posts: 2,173
It sounds like the change in ler life is doing this. Like all the moms said no pullups and make them do the same routine as you. Kids do this if there is a change because it stresses them and consistancy and love will get her through it.
Thank you peimum for my beautiful siggy.
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