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Most Ruthlessly Stubborn Teary Tantrum Throwing Girl Ever!

Forum: Potty Training


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December 27th, 2010, 02:26 PM
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3
I have a 34 month old daughter who I've been trying to potty train since 23 months. At first I did everything the books said to and it worked like a charm with pee. She'd play with the potty, make pee pee on it, went on a schedule, etc... I got prematurely excited though, because after only a week she refused to go near it again, and has been that way ever since. She REFUSES to go near it at home, and only sits on it at preschool (never makes on it though - in her mind, that's what diapers are for!). She also doesn't care that all the girls in her class are potty trained. She thinks she is except from this activity for some reason - like THEY make on the potty, but *I* get to use diapers.

She is "ready" according to the checklists, except for willingness. One day I tried throwing out the diapers as some suggest, but she just peed on the floor when I told her there were no more diapers. She HATES the potty. I've tried to make it fun, read books on it, offer bribes, not freak out when she has an accident, and I've even let her try going alone in case she was embarrassed to have me watching. Nope! And she doesn't just whine when I tell her "it's time for us to make pee pee on the potty", no, she screams, cries, and throws herself on the floor if I even assert my position at all. One day I tried to show her where poo poo goes, so I emptied her diaper into the toilet and told her she could flush it. I tried to make it fun, like "Oooh, look! Your poop is in the potty like a big girl! Let's play with the flush". She freaked out crying, saying "No mommy, it goes in the garbage!". I'm starting to wonder if she's OCD. Can they even have it that young?

I think I've tried every bit of regular advice in magazine, books, and blogs, but they don't really talk much about extremely stubborn kids other than "Don't push them. They'll go when they're ready". But doesn't that make me the biggest pushover parent ever? This is a battle of wills, and she knows she's winning because all she has to do is whine and I'll give in - because that's what modern parenting literature tells me to do! I can't imagine changing diapers until she's 4 or 5. Or worse, watching her change her own! Any advice here would be very welcome! I am not a 'PC' mommy so don't be afraid to offend me. If you have an unconventional method, I'll listen to anything.

PS: I also have a 19 month old son and HE is already showing interest in the potty. I might start him earlier and hope she gets jealous and decides to use it!
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December 27th, 2010, 08:33 PM
challowell's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Caldwell, Ohio
Posts: 2,173
Rachel went through this a while ago. What we did was take away the diapers. Every time she has an accident at home take her in the bathroom and give her a bath. Rachel found after a couple days that it was easier to just go potty. If she has a pullup then she will not go to the potty because the pullup keeps her dry.
Thank you peimum for my beautiful siggy.
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December 28th, 2010, 10:56 AM
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3
That IS one I haven't tried! Thanks :-)
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May 8th, 2011, 04:18 PM
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1
Mitra, did you ever find solution for your daughter? I have a 3 year old who is going through the exact same thing as you and I cannot seem to find a way to get her to go potty!

Thank you!
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July 25th, 2011, 09:18 AM
sharlers's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 416
i have a son whos 4 and a half and hes going through exact same thing and he starts primary school in september its soul destroying i just dont know what to do
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August 17th, 2011, 08:59 PM
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 12
Our DD is 3 and we went through this too. DH and I finally backed off entirely since it was getting to be a total battle of wills. We basically allowed her to do her thing, changed her diapers without complaint or comment, and within 2 weeks she was using the potty full time. I think it (using the potty) had to be something she did of her own volition, without us pushing it in any way, either positive or negative. Stubborn little stinker she was, LOL!

BTW, I totally recommend the book the Princess and the Potty by Wendy Cheyette Lewison, it is about exactly this situation, and kind of lets you laugh about it a bit (its a kid picture book.) DD loved it and it also made DH and I laugh about the zaniness of it all.
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potty, toddler, toilet, training

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