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I'm still having issues getting my now 4 year old potty trained!!!!

Forum: Potty Training


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February 11th, 2011, 07:33 AM
proudmommy2006.2009.2011's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Posts: 80
Hello all. I posted on this board a while back about my 3 year old daughter not being potty trained. Well guess what? She is now 4 years old and we are still having issues.

Things I've tried:
-Small potty (the ones that sit on the floor), got her one when she was around 2 years old. She never showed any interest in it. She would rather play with it.
-Transition from diapers to pull-ups. She is still in pull-ups.
-Praise and rewards for going potty. They seemed to only work a few times. Now she doesn't care.
-Putting her in "big girl" underwear. People have told me that she would know not to go in her pants because she doesn't want to feel wet. Well, she doesn't care if she's wet or poopy. The only time I find out she needs to go is if she already peed or pooped in her undies.
-Sticker chart. She gets a sticker for everytime she goes. We have a potty schedule. Different times of the day, if she goes in that time frame, she gets a sticker.

The issue is that she only goes on the potty if I tell her. She doesn't just come up to me and say "Mommy, I have to go potty." She always waits until I tell her, and usually by that time she has already went in her pull-up.

I really want her potty trained before I have the new baby in May. I can't afford to buy 3 kids diapers. Also I want to get her into pre-school by the fall (she can't go to K-5 until she is almost 6 because when her birthday falls).

I'm at a total loss. I'm going to start potty traning her sister soon. I'm thinking maybe that will get my oldest to understand that she isn't a baby anymore and use the potty on her own. But I just don't know.

Any new suggestions on what I should do??? I need help!!!
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February 11th, 2011, 10:44 AM
♥RainyLane's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Try having her naked at home, this way when she starts to pee you will know immediately. If you can just hang out with her and when she starts to go, get her on a potty or toilet. This way she can see immediately what is happening and know where it goes and hopefully get that mind body connection. Once she starts figuring things out, then put her in underwear. No pull-ups unless you want to use them at night. THey are a glorified diaper and she will think it is okay to go in them. We train our children to ignore their elimination signals from their body when putting them in a diaper, and to get used to the feeling of being wet or dirty. They need to relearn to be in tune with their body again. You can check out the book "Diaper Free Baby" by Christine Gross-Loh and read the parts for older children if you want. There are some pretty helpful things in there and it may also help for your younger child. It may help in understanding where the difficulty comes in.

Good luck, I hope she get into it soon and that your younger child is less of a struggle...
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February 11th, 2011, 10:51 AM
proudmommy2006.2009.2011's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Posts: 80
The thing is with having her naked at home, is that we have dogs, we rent our apartment and its completely carpeted and our 1 year old likes to take her clothes off as it is. We honesty do not have the time or the money to always have to rent a carpet cleaner to clean up the messes. Another worry is that she will go somewhere and hide. I can not be side by side with her all day as my 1 year old needs attention too.

She knows where it has to go. She just gets side-tracked with everything else. I'm worried she my have a type of ADD or ADHD. But her being so young, her peditrication doesn't recommend her to be checked out. She understands the concept of "Big kids use the potty". We ask her all the time why she doesn't use the potty since she is a big kid.
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February 11th, 2011, 03:35 PM
8miraclez's Avatar Formerly Halfbaked
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 7,472
Have you tried a Potty Watch?
My dd has ADD and she would just get so engrossed in something else, that going potty wasn't something that grabbed her attention. I bought her a Potty Watch that you could set for different amounts of time and whenever it would go off, she had to sit on the potty for a few minutes or until she went. You could then reset the watch and go for another set amount of time. Just do a search on ebay for potty watch. I just bought another one for my youngest. I'm hoping to have her potty trained before this one is born.

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February 11th, 2011, 08:58 PM
proudmommy2006.2009.2011's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Posts: 80
Good idea. Thank you so much for sharing! I will definitely look into one!
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February 12th, 2011, 06:23 PM
challowell's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Caldwell, Ohio
Posts: 2,173
The watch is a good idea. I use an egg timer to remmind meto get her to go potty . I started it at 20 minuites and worked up from there. Timers really do help because it gives the external reminder to go.
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February 13th, 2011, 11:48 PM
Minilegs's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Kaia's Mommy
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My ideas are pretty much the same. I did naked training with my daughter and that worked better than any other method. I also was on her all day about going to the bathroom until I felt confident she would tell me she had to go. Pull ups are diapers, kids feel confident that they can go in them. It feels no different to them. Sometimes underwear can feel the same to a kid, that's why I ended up doing the naked training.

Maybe you could put her clothing on without any underwear or pull ups? Commando so she can feel less "secure". This sounds more behavioral than anything else in that she definitely knows what she is doing and knows how to go in the toilet. You might want to look at a book or online for more ideas for an older child that chooses not to go. My step son was deathly afraid and really didn't poop train until he was 4 and was basically forced to go.
Melanie, mama to Kaia, Ewan, and Paige
Paige Clementine born October 23, 2013
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February 14th, 2011, 12:31 PM
Twoboysmaybemore's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 223
You could do the "3 day potty training method". There is an Ebook that explains everything. It is a really tough 3 days but my son learned (with zero prior attempts to potty train) to go on the potty day and night in 3 days time. I, too, wanted him trained before baby #2 showed up. In almost a year (today is his 3rd birthday) he has only had 2 or 3 accidents ever. I totally recommend this method! Be sure to read the book first though because I remember the author says to discontinue any other methods for a certain time period before implementing this one.
---6 early losses---
Joey- 7/15/10

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