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My ex girlfriend tells me she's pregnant but not sure its mine

Forum: Pregnancy Questions


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  • 2 Post By Memi
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November 6th, 2012, 05:56 PM
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 4
I am a male, I am not a mother but I figured the people here would be able to make sense of all the stuff that I have been told my my ex-girlfriend given all the facts I present. I basically had a crash course on women and how pregnancy works but let me explain.

Me and her were together for quite some time. We broke up around June. At this time she had an IUD in. We then made up around August 26th and she came over. We ended up having sex (unprotected which is completely my fault but we had prior to this since we dated a long time and she had an IUD) but I thought she still had her IUD in. After we had sex, she went to go run to the bathroom to wash out the semen. I didn't understand and said why is she doing that and she said she took her IUD out. Then, after I was going into a panic she told me she had it in and was joking. This was August 26th. Two days pass and we get in an argument and she admits over the phone she had indeed taken out her IUD.

I was sent into another panic and told her to come to my house and let's get a morning after pill since you can take those up to 72 hours afterwards. Well, she took the pills. It was two; I didn't see her take the second but I did the first one. She said she took it but I wasn't sure. Afterwards I wanted nothing to do with her for lying twice. One by not telling me she had taken her IUD out and the other for playing a game with me.

Three weeks later on September 17th (exactly three weeks after we had sex) she calls me telling me she's pregnant. Once again I was sent into a panic. First, she doesn't tell me her IUD was out, then the morning after pill didn't work and now she's pregnant. However, what's strange is she tells me she's three weeks pregnant. But the date we had sex was exactly three weeks earlier. Why would the doctor tell her this? That makes no sense at all since as I came to realize that pregnancy is not calculated from the last time you and her slept together but the female's last period.

She said that since the IUD messed up her periods coming she didn't know when she last had a period. Therefore, the doctor asked her when she last had sex and made the date around that. After many games, she finally showed me a paper showing me she was pregnant. This paper stated they gave her a blood pregnancy test and it said "pregnant test with positive result". They also listed her HcG levels I think they were around 15,000 to 18,000 or something like that. What's peculiar is it said her "EDD" or estimated delivery date was June 11, 2013.

I then went to this site and plugged in possible conception dates since I only slept with her during this cycle August 26th. I read sperm survives at most five days. Assuming the morning after failed, and my sperm survived till five days, that would bring us to August 31st. Which would give a calculated delivery date of (using this site's conception calculator date) May 24th. That's almost three weeks off. And again, that's assuming my sperm survived the very longest it could've, the morning after failed, and she ovulated during this time.

She swears she never slept with anyone else. She won't show me any ultrasounds or anything. She said she went to an ultrasound and they still confirmed the same delivery date. Because maybe I was thinking she was confused about her last period and gave them a date way off. This is not her first child so I think she knows how this goes. But now I am all confused and dumbfounded why NONE of this adds up? Furthermore for a date of June 11, 2013 she would've had to ovulate roughly around September 4th and conception would've had to of happened around the 18th of September. That's WAY off as well.

She then told me she was getting it aborted. She told me to pay for her rent and she'd pay for the abortion. I paid her rent but I asked her if I could come. She told me no she wanted a woman to be there and she'd be mad at me for putting her through this. Afterwards when she said she did it I didn't know if she was lying or not. So I asked her for a receipt, she kept telling me her brother had the receipt because he paid for it, wouldn't give it to her, etc. Also that he hated me and would fight me for putting her sister through that. Finally the next day she gave me a receipt which I thought was real. Then, three weeks later she told me it was a fake and she wanted to see if I'd leave her or not or act mean to her. The receipt did look very fake it was printed on an ink jet printer and basically was a copy of the website and someone just put numbers in.

She's been asking me for money telling me I got her pregnant and she lost her job because of all the complications and I should pay for her rent, move in with her, help her out. I've been giving her money for gas, rent, fixing her car, but she's been tapping me out. I just don't know if I am being played or what to do from here and the chances of if it is my child. I've been totally supporting her thinking she's carrying my child. I know there's no definite answers here but to the best of anyone's knowledge how likely is it that is my child from that act of sex on August 26th. Regardless of if she keeps or not her and I aren't going to be together after all this.
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November 6th, 2012, 09:48 PM
Memi's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 5,513
Honestly sounds like youre getting played. The fact that shes so inconsistant and untrustworthy and you have no proof that shes even pregnant is a huge red flag!

You are correct on your research and dates. Im due May 10 and conceived in the middle of August. Her dates (and the rest of her story) make no sense.

My advise is to not give her another dime until you get the results of a paternity test. Be emotionally supportive and present for her if she is in fact pregnant. But shes prooven to be untrustworthy. I wouldnt give her anything else of monetary value until you have some proof.

Best of luck!
missy123 and newprincess like this.
Expecting #3 in January 2016!

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November 7th, 2012, 05:01 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,894
With hormone levels that high 3wks after sex, it would not coincide with a 3wk pregnancy. More like 6wks. With the due date given, it makes even less sense. Something is totally off. Like previous poster said, all you can do is wait it out. No more money though. Stick around and support her, but dont move in with her. Get a paternity test and confirm once the baby is born. Im sorry your going through this. Women like this give women in general a bad wrap for putting men through this bs. Its not fair to you to have so many head games played. Good luck to you.---
momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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November 7th, 2012, 05:35 PM
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 4
I think you ladies have confirmed my suspicious. It is just very hard to know she could have my child and she has no job, no money, or anything and to think possibly she may be evicted or kicked out of her house with my child is what was eating me alive. I wouldn't necessarily say I care about her, it was more so her body being a vessel for a potential child that can be mine and that's where I was divided. I will follow your advice and wait until the end and tell her if she wants anymore assistance from me I need to go to an ultrasound and be allowed to ask all these questions I am wondering. Thank you for your advice and thank you for allowing someone whose not capable of being a mommy into this forum.
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November 7th, 2012, 06:09 PM
Memi's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Posts: 5,513
You sound veru respectful and patient here. Kuddos to you for wanting to do the right thing. I hope you gets answers soon. I wish you all the best.
Expecting #3 in January 2016!

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November 8th, 2012, 05:10 AM
Purrrrrrr's Avatar Semi-crunchy Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,715
Geez, I agree with Memi... you need to find out if she's actually pregnant. Find out when her next OB visit is and go in with her. I wouldn't give her one red cent until she took you to the doctor with her. Once the baby's born, get a paternity test and, if I were you, I'd fight for complete custody since she sounds none-too-stable if it's yours.

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November 8th, 2012, 07:39 PM
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Philippines
Posts: 209
You are a great man who is fooled by a great LIAR! If you can prove that she really lied, sue her!
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November 9th, 2012, 06:23 AM
Missa_Mae's Avatar First Time Mommy!
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 3,062
I wouldn't even bother going to the U/S and asking the Doctor questions ... I would flat out request a paternity test and not give her anything until the results come back.

I believe those can be done before the baby is born. You do not have to support her at all and if she tried to take you to court for child support, they will have to do a paternity test no matter what.

You're a good man for wanting to support her ... but I would want more proof than an ultrasound
Oh, Sweet Child of Mine

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November 9th, 2012, 05:34 PM
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 4
It sounds like she is playing games with you. For one, if she is pregnant, the dates are off and like the other ladies said also...the hcg levels seem to be high for just 3 weeks. I would go with her to a doctors appointment and start asking questions if she lets you. Don't give her anymore money until your sure that the baby is yours. You can get a paternity test before the baby is born. Kudos to you for wanting to do the right thing but be careful. Good luck!
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November 22nd, 2012, 04:26 PM
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 4
Thank all of you ladies for your answers (I am assuming your all ladies but no offense intended if you aren't). Well, there's a bit more of an update. She said she needed to borrow money because her car was messed and her dad paid for it. So I told her the only way I'd let her borrow any money is if she provides me with some kind of proof that is no longer pregnant. She told me she took some drink called a "ow wee shake" and made herself lose it. Just to ease my mind and return my sanity (I know there's no drink at home you can drink but I just felt she wasn't pregnant by other means) so I met with her. She gave me a paper that looked very authentic and it was from the doctor that said "Negative HCG QL" and the doctor had given her birth control pills that were filled that day. She said she was switching to a new form of birth control. All of these pills had her name on them and everything looks super authentic.

Afterwards, I left and the other day she came to me asking for more money and I told her I was done helping her and because of all this craziness I was done. She then texts me that she'll take care of her "kids" alone since she only has one child but now has a second one cause she's still pregnant. Then she told me that the new paper saying she was not pregnant and the birth control was all a ruse for me to believe she got it done. I researched and found out they can't give out birth control without doing a pap-smear and pregnancy test.

And if you recall from the first story I wrote up above remember when she said that she got the abortion done and wouldn't let me come over because her "brother" was there and would fight me, he had the receipt, etc.? Well, she then texts me that it was another guy over there who has been helping her this entire time and that he has all this money and has been helping her. And that's how she fixed her car when it broke down and cost $700 to fix. I think that was all the confirmation I needed because I never came to her house ever and to have another guy over there I am sure she was sleeping with him during the same time period and that's why there was a variance on the paperwork on the due date.

I won't ever take this experience and use it as a blanket way to classify all women because I am sure this is maybe less than 1% of women. I will say this whole experience has taught me quite a bit about women and how reproduction works, lol. I am going to school this fall to apply to Nursing school in the fall. I am knocking out my pre-requisites right now and am enjoying it. Hopefully a Nursing school will let a male in I hope but thank you to everyone who gave me clarity on all of this.
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November 22nd, 2012, 04:37 PM
Memi's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 5,513
She sounds like nothing but drama. RUN!!!!! Im sorry shes put you through all this crap. I cant even keep up with the lies but im glad youre moving on from her.
Expecting #3 in January 2016!

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November 22nd, 2012, 04:49 PM
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 4
Yes, I am happy this is all over as well. Yes! I did run and told her the only way that I would ever talk to her again is through the court attempting to access me for child support which I will obviously petition the court for a paternity test but I am sure it won't come ot that. Thanks for your support.
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December 2nd, 2012, 04:41 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
Run... and run fast! You sound like a great guy that was trying to do the right thing and she took advantage of you. You will find your princess someday!!

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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