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How did you know you were done?

Forum: Done Having Children


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May 11th, 2010, 05:56 PM
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Tennesee
Posts: 44
Hi everyone I am lurking, but I have to ask- how did you know you were done having kids? I cannot carry a child again due to medical reasons, and dh is convinced we are done, but I am looking at adoption... I am not sure I am done.

How did you know? Or did you? Did your family feel complete, or did you know another way? Thanks so much everyone!
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May 11th, 2010, 06:24 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,618
One day I just thought to myself "I cannot put myself through this again". I am 34w pregnant with baby #2, and have severe anxiety during pregnancy - it has been particularly hard this time, and in turn - it has had an effect on my daughter. I'm a single parent, so the only persons feelings I had to take into consideration were mine - which is probably a lot different than most of the women on this board..

I would like another baby - BUT I know that I cannot be pregnant again.. so in the future I MAY look at adoption, but I'm not sure.

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May 11th, 2010, 07:31 PM
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Tennesee
Posts: 44
Thank you for the reply Congrats on your pregnancy! I know that pregnancy can definitely be stressful!
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May 12th, 2010, 10:52 AM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: In the West
Posts: 11,190
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I just knew.
Shortly after I had my second child I considered stopping but something in me just didnt believe our family was complete at that point.

We had a third and during the entire pregnancy I just knew he completed our family. I had absolutely no hesitation in saying he did and still dont.

And boy does he complete us LOL.

~My thanks to *Kiliki* for the siggy and Lucy S for the blinkies~
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May 12th, 2010, 01:37 PM
C&K'sMama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 6,150
There were a few factors in our.

After Carrie we said we were finished. The determining factor in that was that Carrie is special needs. With her issues we felt it was important to dedicate as much time as possible to her, and CONCIDER having another child significanly down the road

Then SUPRISE we got Kate... I had gestational hypertension with Carrie which became pre-e with Kate, on top of gestational diabetes and other more minor problems. Bymy eighth month I'm miserable (can't eat foods I want cause of GD, swelling and bedrest from pre-e, etc). I would not put my body through that again... on top of that... during both labors I had titantic contractions (the meter that reads your contractions, goes from like 0-80. My meter (and pain) would only bottom out at 60, basically it was 3 hours of constant contracting, with the meter hitting 130 a couple times)

Also we are trying to look at it financially. DH is career Army and there are lots of things we want to be able to do for our kids (send them to camps, buy nice first cars, college, etc etc etc) and feel that we would not be able to raise our children the way we want to if we had more.

DH is fixed, we are done.

"Disability is not a brave struggle or ‘courage in the face of adversity.’ Disability is an art. It’s an ingenious way to live."
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May 12th, 2010, 07:48 PM
MellieB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Melbourne, Aust.
Posts: 64,110
After loosing one child, the stress of another pregnancy was terrible. We both knew that we could not go through that stress more than once.

Thanks to Claire1979 for the amazing siggy.

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Our Angel Baby on Facebook

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May 12th, 2010, 10:31 PM
4wildflowers's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Northern Nevada
Posts: 3,175
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Someone else asked this question a while back, so I'm just pasting my answer here.

We weren't sure how many we wanted, but once I was pregnant with #3, I thought for sure we'd be done. Thankfully, something held me back from doing anything permanent. Once #3 was just 3 or so months old, I had baby fever bad. I was afraid I would never have that feeling of being done. So we had #4, and during that pregnancy I finally felt 100% like that was it. We were complete.

My kids.....
Jake 13
Shane 9
Brynne 6
Claire 4

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May 13th, 2010, 05:42 AM
youngwoman's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,950
Once we got through the early newborn days, DH & I knew we couldn't do it again. We love our daughter but we are not baby people! And financially, it makes more sense for us.
Thanks to Kiliki for my super cute siggy!

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