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Losing privileges, as a form of punishment?

Forum: Done Having Children


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May 20th, 2010, 03:24 AM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,618
When it comes to punishing your children, do you take away privileges?
What sort of privileges?

When Gaby is REALLY naughty, I take away her favourite toys for the day... but that's only had to happen once (thank goodness). I guess that counts as a privilege of sorts...

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May 20th, 2010, 06:57 AM
MidgeMadge's Avatar Queen Turd. Bow down.
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Albany-ISH, New York
Posts: 33,890
Not really, because that doesn't seem to work as well for her.

Time out works SUPER well because she hates it. She hates being confined into her "time out chair" and she can't stand getting into trouble. It's really worked the best for us!! I've tried taking things away before, as a form of punishment, and it didn't work!
Erika & Christiaan (7.27.2004)
.. and our daughter, Alexis..

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May 20th, 2010, 09:54 AM
Amaranth Dhanya's Avatar aka Hillarie
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: In the West
Posts: 11,190
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Sometimes I take stuff away but its not a big deterent from learning to behave better.

Usually time out or a swat on the bum(depending on what was done).

~My thanks to *Kiliki* for the siggy and Lucy S for the blinkies~
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May 20th, 2010, 07:09 PM
4wildflowers's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Northern Nevada
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For my boys, that works best. Also, keeping them in when they'd otherwise be out with their friends. They have to go to their room and clean up, then sit there and think about what they've done.

My kids.....
Jake 13
Shane 9
Brynne 6
Claire 4

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May 21st, 2010, 01:39 AM
MellieB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Melbourne, Aust.
Posts: 64,110
Time out or even just the threat of it works for Jassie right now but I will be taking away privileges as she gets older and time outs get less effective.

Thanks to Claire1979 for the amazing siggy.

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May 24th, 2010, 03:13 PM
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Southern California
Posts: 389
Time outs don't work for my 8 year old and grounding really hasn't worked much either. If you put her in time out, she gets up. You put her in her room, she comes out. Telling her she is grounded this weekend during the moment she is misbehaving doesn't stop the behavior at that moment. She is already too upset to care.

What has worked for us, because we have found out with our spirited child, is that it's a control thing for our child, is a reward system. We tell her that she has until 830 to get into the shower and that is all we say now. No nagging, no telling, no reminding, no getting upset that she tells us no when we tell her to get into the shower. If she gets in the shower by 830, she gets a flower in her basket. Whe she gets 15 flowers, she gets a reward. Right now it's a trip to her favorite frozen yogurt shop or $5, which ever she prefers that time. We use this for things we used to tell her to go do that she would flat out refuse to do and would cause a power struggle over. Things like brushing teeth, getting dressed or putting on pjs, brushing hair. So now we tell her one time and give her a time to get them done by to earn a flower. It gives her control over whether she wants to earn the flower now. We just started but it's working so far and it's been much more peaceful. It's been like WW3 in our house just trying to get her to do basic things. She took us telling her to do these things as controlling her. If she misses her time, she doesn't get a flower and we don't push the issue, we have to learn to let it go. The shower won't get done, the teeth won't get brushed. But so far it hasn't happened yet. It has really helped her mood all the way around.
Nicole ~ Mom to one crazy little girl ANNA!
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