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Officially done... but kind of sad.

Forum: Done Having Children


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August 2nd, 2010, 10:23 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada <3
Posts: 1,370
When I had my daughter, I got my tubes tied. I realize I got them done for a good reason & I knew that I wanted to have them tied as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I went through my entire pregnancy excited to get them tied... but now I'm kind of sad. Not because I want to have more babies... but because if I changed my mind, it would take alot to get pregnant again. I really feel like our family is complete... but... i don't know if it will be complete in a few years... or if I'll catch baby fever again... *sigh* I'm worried about the future, in terms of babies... anyone else feel this way??
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August 2nd, 2010, 11:32 PM
MellieB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Melbourne, Aust.
Posts: 64,110
I think that's totally normal. Its fine to be sad about it.

Thanks to Claire1979 for the amazing siggy.

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Our Angel Baby on Facebook

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August 3rd, 2010, 12:52 AM
Gray Sea's Avatar I love Disneyland
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 2,080
I agree with Mellie, it's normal to be sad. I also had my tubes tied, but I had the opposite feelings. I was paranoid that my tubes would fail me, and I'd end up pregnant. I was so sure I was done. Now, I have a hysterectomy, and sometimes I do feel a pang of sadness because it truly is official...NO GOING BACK...but then I smack myself in the head and realize I HATE kids! LOL...Not my own, obviously, but I am done. No more. Done.

I just hate that that part of me is gone, forever. I can't ever grow it back. But, I don't miss the periods, the pain...the cramps. I no longer have to be nervous about an 'accident'...it's good.

Thank you Tasha_Mae for my spooky siggy
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August 3rd, 2010, 07:47 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada <3
Posts: 1,370
I got mine done because My oldest was still 3 when I had my 4th baby! (She was born 11 days before his 4th birthday) My body is done, my patience is done... and I'm ok with it... but its sad because that part of me is gone. I'm also sure my tubes will heal back together just because my last 3 babies were prevented & our methods of birth control failed us. I feel confident that I'm done & I won't want to start all over again. I guess its more a feeling of confusion than anything.
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August 8th, 2010, 09:28 PM
flitabout's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Pipestone, Minnesota
Posts: 6,500
I think it is normal but just in case we change our minds I got the IUD go for 10 years

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August 8th, 2010, 09:37 PM
4wildflowers's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Northern Nevada
Posts: 3,175
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Troy left the size of our family up to me, and I worried that I would never feel "complete". As soon as I got pregnant with #4 though, I knew our family was complete. I was afraid I'd end up regretting the tubal, but it's been 2 1/2 years now, and I know I did the right thing. The only sad feeling I had was knowing the option to have another baby was gone. But I knew deep down that I didn't really want a fifth child.
I think what you are feeling is totally normal.

My kids.....
Jake 13
Shane 9
Brynne 6
Claire 4

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October 1st, 2010, 02:09 PM
*kimi*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 0
This is exactly how I feel. I could have wrote this myself. Obviously I have no advice haha just lurking in here to see what the others say.

Thank you to Graysmama for my adorable siggy
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October 2nd, 2010, 04:18 PM
nurselochia's Avatar Marathon running mom of 4
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Cornfield, USA
Posts: 3,855
I also could have written this myself. I have 4 kids and I had my tubal done at delivery and knew when I got pregnant with #4 that I would have it done. I think it's just the finality of it, and like you said, it would take soo much. I don't want anymore kids, my body is done, and I'm sure I won't change my mind...it's just sad that the whole pregnancy/childbearing days are over for me.

Thanks Jaidynsmum!!

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October 3rd, 2010, 11:21 AM
P*to*the*ORTIA's Avatar Portia
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Fulton, MO
Posts: 4,236
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I think everyone has a grieving period for it. I always thought we would have 4 but now that I think about it, I feel as if our family is "complete". It's okay to feel sad about it.

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