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hubby and I not agreeing..I'm freaking out

Forum: Done Having Children


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September 26th, 2012, 10:53 AM
TerriLF's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 566
Well I've said this here before but it is still the case. My husband doesn't want another child right now, and maybe not ever. We have a 3 yr old and 1.5 yr old. I told him if I don't have another by 30 I don't think I will have another. I am 25. I want to TTC soon though. If he told me we could try in a year I would be fine..but him say maybe not ever really has be worried. I would TTC now if he would agree though. It is all I can think about and all I want to talk about but have tried several times to just wait it out, but then it always comes back up.

..When I told him my thoughts and that I was really worried that we didn't agree on this..he basically made it seem like it was me being crazy about it and that I should just stop worrying though and that he wasn't changing his mind now..

Did you and your SO agree that you were done or one said you were done so the other had to settle. Do you recent them for it? How do you feel about it now?
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October 15th, 2012, 04:52 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Sitka
Posts: 8,182
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It was mutual, we both knew two was right for us and I really don't wont to be pregnant ever again. We also decided if in a few years we regret it we would adopt.

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October 21st, 2012, 07:50 AM
marlz_04's Avatar Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 40
I would take to him about it again in a couple of months I think you need to tell him how you feel and say to him you will regret not having another if thats how you do feel. I dont think its right if you stop and you dont feel your family is complete.. I think I would of recented dh alot if he did it to me..

my dh doesnt want another but i feel i will in 5+ years time.. he wont get snipped so im happy to wait to then and see where we are then. Things can change to.. depending of a number of things.

Im lucky to have my four.. he always wanted four. but alot of my kids where woops pregnancies.. because we used the method not wanting but not preventing.. but hwre always happy to have our little ones. I have had a few m/c in between to.

Dont give up though..
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October 26th, 2012, 06:56 PM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: California
Posts: 5,500
We agreed on being a one and done family before we got married. I don't think it is so bad that your husband changed his mind. Maybe he sees what goes into raising children and doesn't have it in him to have any more. You need to ask yourself how having another child would affect your marriage. Would he resent you for not taking his feelings into consideration? Would he be upset with having the added responsibility of another child when he truly is happy with the two children he has?

To me, having a happy marriage is more important than having another child.
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