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Trying not to lose faith, by Faith

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August 18th, 2010, 06:05 PM
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Kansas
Posts: 22
yay, a place to put all of my thoughts and fears....
so, here's the background... I am 30 yrs old, married for 5 years (hubby # 2) have no children and 1 cat 10yrs old... Kitty (named Stupid) has been with me since college, through 1st rotten marriage and into this wonderful marriage. With my first marriage I had an abusive husband and 5yr old stepson. They used to joke with each other about shooting me and where they would hide the body, even to the point of my hubby letting his son load the shotgun. Hubby #1 tried to get me pregnant with no success - he told me that God did not want me to get pregnant because I would be a bad mother. I escapet that madman and am now happily married to my sweetie pie Andy. He nurtured me back from the brink of total man hating in about the same amount of time that Stupid turned him into a cat person. Now he is wrapped around my little finger and we are both devoted slaves to Her Highness Stupid.
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August 19th, 2010, 06:56 PM
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Kansas
Posts: 22
I had a really bad night last night. I woke up at 2:30am and was super depressed. I guess it really started yesterday afternoon. One of my coworkers is pregnant (she's as cute as a button), and she went to her dr. yesterday and they scheduled her c-section for next week.... on my birthday. Up until this point I haven't had any issues seeing her pregnancy progress and was excited for her new baby, but this just put it all in my face. I will be 31 years old and have never been pregnant, and here she is, just turned 24 and going to be a mom.
I just feel so worthless as a person. I haven't accomplished anything with my life, and I can't even pressure my offspring to do what I wasn't able to... I know it is horrible, but I don't want to be one of those weird old ladies who never had children and now are obsessed with kittens.
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August 21st, 2010, 08:51 PM
AmandaEE's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 993
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I'm sorry to hear about the things you've dealt with, mostly with your first husband. How cruel! I hope you had a restraining order on him, what a nut-job! I'm so glad you are safe and in a better relationship now. It's so important to have the support of your SO, especially when ttc!

About your co-worker... we've all been there. When you are ttc, it is like a PG belly pops up at every corner! I'll be 29 in September and I've never been pg either. Some people say, "oh, you're still so young" but they don't know that I have been ttc for 8 years with no success!

Have you seen a Dr for your ttc struggles? Have you ever been on any meds? Keep us posted...

Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful Siggy!
"Even miracles take a little time" -Cinderella

Follow my blog at http://jovieheart.blogspot.com/
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August 22nd, 2010, 07:49 AM
MommytoaMiracle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 10,571
I'm so sorry to here about your struggles you have had to overcome.
Good for you, for getting out of an abusive relationship. Yo should be proud of yourself. Most women are too scared to leave.
About your cat, Omg, you literally made me laugh out loud....Stupid the cat? I'm still laughing
It is always hard to see pregnant women, I know. I'm sorry.
I hope something gives soon & you & your hubby get your so desired miracle baby.
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