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PPD & Anxiety?

Forum: Post Partum Depression


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July 12th, 2010, 05:21 PM
ElizabethS's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 11,985
I'm still depressed. I thought I was getting the transfer to the store closer to my home (20 min from home instead of 1 hr each way). Then got the news that they are closing ALL the stores and placing us in banks. And today I got the news that I'll probably be placed somewhere in Ocala (an hour from my home).

I was OKAY (sort of) about going back to work close to home because DH was going to bring Ethan by at lunch time to nurse and hang out with me. And I'd only have to pump a few times in the AM and a few times in the PM. And I was going to be close to home and wouldn't be gone 14 hours a day (instead only 11-12). Now I'm looking at being far away again.

The other problem is daycare. We qualify for subsidized childcare (where they pay most of your childcare costs) but its only for the county we live in, not the county I work in. DH's unemployment has run out, and he needs to get a job, but its hard when we know the kids are going to be in daycare and one of us has to be there by 6pm to pick them up...I could have done that if I worked closer to home now its not an option and really limits the jobs he can apply for or take and the hours he can work. But we need him to work.

It's just not going to work with me being gone 14 hrs a day. I'm stressed, I'm anxious, I'm depressed to the point where I just sit around and hold the baby, nurse him, change his diaper, and tend to his needs but am having a hard time making myself take care of myself...or anything else for that matter. I'm to the point where I feel I'd rather die than go back to work and leave Ethan that long each day. Heck I can't put him down for more than 10 minutes, or I have lots of anxiety. I've always had a problem with separation anxiety since I was a child, and its worst during the first year of my baby's lives. It wasn't a problem with Cady and Alex because they went to college with me, and my mom watched them in her office and I was gone from them only 50 minutes at a time for the whole first year.

It's so bad that I can't walk out the front door and drive 2 blocks to the store and leave Ethan here..I have to load him up and take him with me. Because as soon as I walk out the front door I start hyperventilating.

This is severe anxiety and depression. Do you guys think I should call my doctor? I don't have a primary care doctor...should I call my ob-gyn or try to find a primary care doctor and go talk to them? I don't want to take medication but I do have a history of anxiety and panic attacks. I don't want to get back to the panic attacks but I'm already starting to get there and I can't IMAGINE going back to work at this point. I can't leave him! I just can't! But I HAVE to. WHAT do I do? He'll be 3 weeks old on Saturday and then I only have 3 weeks left and it seems like its going too fast. I feel he's going to think I've abandoned him. He doesn't like anyone else to hold him, I haven't been separated from him more than 10 minutes to take a shower and even then he fusses until I take him back from DH. I just want a few more months time home with him! UGH! This SUCKS!

Momma to Alex (2005), Cadence, (2008), Ethan (2010), Brayden (2012), and Adrianna Elise due September 19th 2014

Stepmom to two (2006, and 2009).

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July 12th, 2010, 10:08 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 22,034
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I am so sorry you are going through this. I completely understand the wanting to work closer. I drive an hour each way every day and it kills me. I try to make it so DH drops them off and I pick them up so they aren't at daycare so long.
If I were you I would call my dr. Anxiety mixed with depression is not good. Sounds more like anxiety but either way that will affect you and your family. I would recommend try your ob and see what they say. They may recommend you see a primary care physician.
I wish I had some advice that would help. I left both my kids to return to work when they were three months and even now that they are 3 and 5 I have a hard time. I would still love to quit my job and stay home with them. But we have bills to pay and my medical is awesome.
Only you and DH know what is best for your family. Perhaps see if there is anyway to get an office closer. Or start searching out another job for yourself that is closer and works better for your family. Family is important too.
I hope things get better for you guys soon.

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie

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July 25th, 2010, 10:39 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 26,401

I agree with seeing a doctor to talk about how you are feeling. It sounds like the depression and anxiety are really interfering with your life and that is going to make you one miserable mom, especially in your situation.

Andrea, mom to 3 beautiful girls - Abigail (8) Annabelle (6) and Alexis (3)

Expecting baby #4 in April - It's a BOY!

Two Little Monkies on Etsy
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