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Is it just me, or do doctors always have their way

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March 24th, 2006, 02:00 AM
feohgoddess's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Salinas, California
Posts: 995
ok, I am 80 pounds over weight. i gained half of it when i was pregnant with DD. this pregnancy, so far, i have only gained 10 pounds, i have been doing so well and its been very hard to keep a healthy diet, and getting off my butt and walking everywhere thats near by instead of driving, and up until recently, i was swimming and power walking on the tred mill every night!

i am so sick of going to my prenatal appts bc my dr always has some way of reminding me that im overweight. like its a big deep dark secret. with dd, i gained around 45 pounds. lost half of it, and gained it all back. with DD, i did give into too many "cravings" and i did get GD my last month of pregnancy. Being overweight, hispanic, and it running in my family are the main factors here.

so this time, i really made a bigger effort to find alternatives to my cravings. i have a huge sweet tooth. DH has been so proud of me, and walks with me now.

my doctor makes me feel like crap. i had my 1 hr test, and my sugar was 115. so my doctor HAD to like always, make a remark about how women who carry too much weight tend to develop GD. and how i should have considered birth control instead of getting pregnant, and that im putting myself and my unborn baby at too much of a high risk.

my blood pressure is perfect, i have tested my blood sugar regularly this time since i still have my glucometer and trust me test strips and lancits are FR$EAKING EXPENSIVE. i was feeling really proud of myself but i dred going to my appts because she ALWAYS has some comment about my weight.

i did confront her when i had my 1 hr about her comment, and told her that she made me feel a little uncomfortable by stateing that "i shouldnt have gotten pregnant" because this is a big blessing for our family, i also told her that i didnt feel it was necessary, practical or professional. so then she gives me the big story about how she sees too many young women ( im 22) come in and not take care of themselves, and how she wonders why she is an OB/GYN sometimes.

I told her her personal feelings about her career arent a good reason to put patients down. i also told her that i am aware of the stereotype in my area, young women get pregnant, the father isnt around, they smoke pot and dont bother to even pick up a pregnancy book, but that isnt the case and that no young woman who is going to be/ or is a mother should be called out on it. i am a happily married woman, with a family.

sorry for the rant. im just upset. i feel like at this point i dont even WANT to go back and see that woman. im aware of the fact that i am overweight. trust me, i want to lose 60 pounds after i have this baby, but if i were to get pregnant again before that i dont think i should be told "you shouldnt have"

she also told me i need to get my priorities straight during this conversation. im so sick of it, but im happy i stood up for myself.

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March 24th, 2006, 08:37 AM
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 200
That was not very nice of your doctor to say. Shame on her! She is in the business to support you - not to make you feel bad. I was/am about 90 lbs. overwieght when I got pregnant. At my first appt. instead of scolding me - after I voiced my concern about gaining too much additional weight, my doctor is so supportive and said "if you follow a healthy diet, exercise, and listen to what I tell you - you will be fine". I am so sorry that you don't have a supportive doctor - and for her to be a woman at that! Gosh - I think you should stand up and take a bow - you are doing great! Only 10 lbs???? Sister - that is AWESOME!

Best of luck to you - and wishing you the best of everything.
~*~ Tracy ~*~

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March 24th, 2006, 07:10 PM
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Rochester,NY
Posts: 360
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I give you credit I either would have started crying or I would have smacked my doctor for having the balls to tell me I shouldn't have gotten pregnant. She's there to give medical advice not to judge you. If i were you I would definately get a new doctor and might even make a comment to your local medical board. If she's wondering why she's a doctor she shouldn't be practicing and for the way she treated you is outragous. I hated my first OB because she never had time for my appointments, and she warned me about the weight gain and that (i'm a good 80 pounds or more over weight, but hey i dropped 50 before getting pregnant) But her staff always gave me the pat on the back for not gaining the weight and maintaining. I was 248 at my first visit, and at my last visit I was at 252, and my new doctor basically said the weight gain was probably from water retension and the difference in teh scales. But anyways personally i think your doing great at only gaining 10 pounds, and keeping yourself moving. There's plenty of average weight girls that gain tons of weight and stop moving and they dont get yelled at like that, so why should you for being healthy and taking care of yourself and your baby. AND YES YOU CAN BE OVERWEIGHT AND HEALTHY dont let anyone tell you differenct!
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March 25th, 2006, 12:24 AM
feohgoddess's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Salinas, California
Posts: 995
thanx for the kind words. im really considering looking for a new doctor this week, hopefully they will take me in this late. i do NOT want to go back to her. i cant stand the fact that she's so rushed and barely has time for me, and when she does she just has to blurt out her opinions. plus, i can totally tell she has a problem wiht me bringing my DD along. i know DD is barely going to be 3, but she actually has been really really good at all of my appointments (thank God) and even if she did have a couple of bad hair days jeez she's a little girl. its funny too because DD will say "HELLO" and my doctor will say hello back but in a sorta "why did your mom bring you along" tone. hopefully i'll just have the baby this week.


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March 25th, 2006, 12:43 AM
nlp32's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Northern Nevada
Posts: 1,699
That is totally out of line. Good job standing up for yourself! With my first son I was 18 and about 225lbs and at my very first prenatal visit EVER, the Nurse told me that we couldn't hear the baby's heartbeat (@ 8 weeks) because I was 'too chunky'. If I hadn't have been so hormonal and sensitve I would have told her what I thought about that, but instead I just cried, which made me even more angry. I gained 55 lbs with him and still have 30 of it. Then I got pregnant (@20) with my second son and only gained 27lbs and lost it all after I had him, with this one (@22 when I got preg) I've gained almost 25 lbs so far and I'm always way more concerned about it that the Dr. and Nurse. Torrie (the nurse) actually told me not to worry about my weight, that I'm healthy and beautiful and have nothing to worry about. At that point I was 7 months pregnant and weighed almost 280lbs! So I would deffinately call the board and make a complaint and maybe find another Dr. ASAP. You don't have to put up with that kind of abuse, and that's what it is, verbal abuse and judgement, not medical advice. That's not right. And your age has nothing to do with being a good mom or not. There are 16 year olds out there that are more mature than 30 year olds! Obviously she SHOULDN'T be an ob/gyn. Good job for sticking up for yourself and you are perfectly fine, 10 lbs gained is incredible! You should be proud of yourself!

Niki Mommy to three beautiful boys and an angel; April 2001
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March 25th, 2006, 06:13 AM
feohgoddess's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Salinas, California
Posts: 995
maybe i'll pinch my DD so she'll be all fussy and annoy the dr. jk jk i would never do that! lol

my DH said the same thing that i need to report her. it makes me totally uncomfortable with the fact that she doesnt like her career. your dr should be someone you are comfortable with since you have your legs in the air and your boobs hangin out every time you go and see him/her.


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March 25th, 2006, 07:01 AM
cinfy's Avatar Cool Chick
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,314
Wow. What a crappy doctor. Can you switch to another doctor in the practice.. or is he the only one? You don't have much time to go, so you might be stuck with her.

She has definately said some WRONG things to you - like you should have used birth control and that she hates her job. The medical board can send her a stern warning - you know if she is saying these things to you, she is saying it to other people.

You need to find a caring doctor that will treat you as an adult... not a child. Hopefully you have your baby soon so you can kick him to the curb!

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March 25th, 2006, 05:30 PM
chelseamb's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 11,391
hey my doc tells me every time i come in that ime overweight and im thinkgin to myself.. "gee really.. i hadnt noticed. THANX for pointing that out. i might have been lost without your keen eyesight" i wanna be a smartass but really i cant...

do they realise that when your pregnant isnt really the time to be dieting and worring. hun.

if i were you i would just worry about not gaining too much. try to keep it down, do what your doing eating healthy stuff...

DONT STRESS... just cause they are doctors they think they know everything. but heres the thing... i am overweight but im perfectly healthy. i eat healthier now and have only gained 6 pounds and im 21 weeks.. so.. pin a rose on their #####

Thank you to Vicki.. For my amazing Siggy

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March 27th, 2006, 12:17 AM
ca_mommie's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: California
Posts: 545
thank you for posting this up, i can relate to you so much and this really helped me know im not the only one who has to go thru this.
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March 28th, 2006, 07:51 PM
Posts: n/a
Congratulations on only gaining 10 pounds, that is fantasic!!!

What a horrible Dr! Mine has been nothing but supportive, the first time I saw him I was around 235, I am now down to 206. I am classified as high risk due to some past issues but even since my first appointment he has told me how good I look and how healthy I am. I was really stressed going into my first appointment because I thought he would have a go at me over my weight.

Thank goodness you only have another two weeks of dealing with that woman! Listen to your DH and report her, she has no business talking to patients that way.
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March 29th, 2006, 07:47 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,454
I am so sorry you have a doctor like that. I would've slapped her if she said that to me. I had the same problem with my doctor and i told him that he was being rude and it was not his place to say anything. Then i switched to another doctor who told me that i could gain 40 pounds and that my weight was no problem. Where as the other doctor told me i could only gain 10 lbs. I have done so much better with this pregnancy. I have only gained 1 pound and i am alomst 22 weeks. Anyway sorry to get off track. What really gets me mad is the comment she said that basically when your overwight you don't take care of yourself. That's BS!!!!!! Just because your heavier doesn't mean that you don't care about yourself and your not healthy. In fact i think overweight people are probably more healthier than little twigs. You should find another doctor and report her. If she is making you feel this way, then how many other people is she making feel that way. Its not her place to tell you your overweight. She is there to guide you through your pregnancy and make it a happy time, not a stressful time. I wish you the best of luck!

Snowball Fight 2006- I've been hit 9 times!
Thank you Meighan for the siggy!

I've lost 4lbs!!
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March 30th, 2006, 06:42 PM
SavaAngel's Avatar Mama to AJ & Katie
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: League City, Texas
Posts: 32,402
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I am sorry you are going through that. I wish all doctors could be more understanding.

My SIL and I use the same OB - and she was overweight for her last pregnancy too. She said he was really great and never mentioned her weight gain or loss. She didn't have GD at all. Now I am going to him because she liked him - and he wouldn't have mentioned my weight loss if I hadn't mentioned it to him.

PM to see if I am available to make a siggy - decisions will be made on a case by case basis.


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April 6th, 2006, 07:20 AM
SpugsLady's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Stoke on Trent UK
Posts: 190
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omg the nerve of some people...

there are plenty of overweight women who have heathy babies, so why doesn't she mind her own buisness and get on with her real job!!!

and as for you taking your daughter along and her acting like you shouldnt have, is plain out of order, family should be involved with whats going on!!!

My midwife is really overweight, so I doubt she would say anything of the sort to me as i'm loadsa smaller than her but if she ever did say anything I wouldn't think twice about changing midwifes. My doctor I hardly have to deal with becoz I goto my midwife, but I think he has a problem about my weight, but he can shove his problems up his *****!!!

If you want a family...You have a family
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