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Forum: Trying to Conceive Your First Child


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March 27th, 2005, 09:10 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 511
Hey everyone!! I hope everyone had a great weekend and a Happy Easter!!

I feel like venting and since everyone on here are such great listeners I thought I would start here.

Well today is Easter and I couldn't go to any of our family get togethers because I have to work a 12 hour shift. I'm at work right now. My DH comes home pretty upset because his mom wouldn't talk to him at Easter. I personally thought it to be a little funny because his mom gets weird like that and he doesn't realize it sometimes. See we usually go over there on Sat. nights, we pack up our kitten (because he is like a child to us) and we go over there and visit after they come back from the barn. Every Sat. she calls us to let us know that they are home and tell us if they want us over, or if they are not going to be home, or are just plain tired and don't want company. Needless to say his sister was over there yesterday so I bet my husband that money that they would not call us. My DH didn't believe me that his mom never wants more then one sibling over at a time. Well she never called and then she wouldn't talk to him today at Easter. I thought it was completely rude considering my husband was up at their farm yesterday helping his dad for 3 hours trying to get a cow up. His mom was running to town with his sister and wasn't home. See it's funny because my DH's dad was very upset because DH mom goes to town every day and she is suppose to stay home because her job is the farm. My DH can't figure out why his mom acted this way. I keep telling him its because his evil sister. Put it this way, his sister and his mom are the same way, can only have one friend at a time. I try to be nice about it because most the time I do get along great with his mom, BUT she acts so weird lately. His sister is 28 yrs old. Has two kids and expects EVERYONE else to do everything for her. If she has a b-day party for the kids, her mom tells everyone to come and my DH's sister doesn't make anything. We are all expected to make something and bring it over, while she supplies a bag of chips and pickles. She comes over to our house all the time and asks what I am making for supper, so that way I can feed them. She is always using the kids to throw into our face claiming we don't do anything because we don't have kids yet. Which isn't true. Between work and school and all the stuff I do at home I know I am a lot busier. Especially because you don't want to even go into her house because it is gross, she never cleans, rarely washes clothes or dishes. It is sick. She also has this thing were she makes my DH's parents chose between us and her and she uses that she has two of their grandchildren. It is getting to the point where we don't want to go over to their house unless she isn't there and next week is one of her kids birthdays and I don't want to go. I hate having to feel this way, but she is a snot. She hates everyone and everyone treats her poorly. She goes over to her mom and dads and gets them mad at us, and we don't do anything wrong. I don't know whose more at fault them for believing her or her. It is getting to the point where I don't want to see DH's parents anymore. I want to believe that we are good people and that we do a lot of nice things for them. When they go away we will go over and do chores for them and we are always helping bail hay and many other things, DH sister and husband NEVER come over to help, they always say they can't because of the kids. It's fine, but it's getting sickening. DH told me we should say something to his snotty sister. I have tried this in the past, BUT she ends up turning everything against me blaming me for everything. I hate that. Then she drags EVERYONE into it saying I am being mean to her. I don't think that a mother should be listening to a sibling talk bad about another one and then being mad at us because we can't defend ourselves. Its funny how they get mad at us when we constantly do stuff for them. Examples of what his sister does and maybe this is stupid, but every year I get my mom and DH's mom an easter lilly and the dads some other stuff and candy, I get a card that says Grandma and Grandpa and say it's from our kitten(since he is our only baby). I have done this for five years, well I did this and took it over there on Wed morning and on Thursday his sister goes out and buys her an easter lilly and some candy and then has her come and pick it up on Thursday night. She talks bad about us all the time saying we never do anything for the kids and they are our godchildren. We always are spending money on them, x-mas we spend $60-$70 a piece and NEVER get a thank you. Most the time she hands the kids to us and we help them open their presents while she and her husband open their presents. Then at the end she has NO idea what the kids got and who got them what. Anyways....sorry to vent so long, but this is getting sickening. I don't know what to do anymore, especially because I'm really starting to get mad at DH's mother just as much.

I was really mad at her because she kept making comments because I wouldn't be able to attend Easter at her moms. She I work from 6p.m. to 6 a.m. on Sunday and Monday, then on tues and wed I work 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. Now I didn't go because I try to lay down for a little bit in the afternoon, with working 12 hours and then by the time I get home on Monday morning I am lucky if I sleep for 6 hours before going in for another 12, I thought it would be best to stay home. I didn't think it would be right either going to DH's side and not mine because I would be at work. Best if I stayed home and got rest. Well DH's mom kept making comments that I should just go. This is coming from a women that is in bed for at least 8 hours every night. And Dh's sister only comes for 1 hour because they are busy at her husbands side of the family. I told DH I am starting my 2WW and don't need the extra stress of his mother being this way to us. Sorry so long!! Lots of baby dust to everyone!!

My two beautiful babies!!
Talon Joseph Born: December 17, 2005 8 pounds 2 oz.
Kaylee Jo Born: December 6, 2006 7 pounds 11 oz.
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March 27th, 2005, 11:32 PM
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Tempe, AZ
Posts: 24
Send a message via MSN to crazy tempe cat lady
Where do people learn to depend on others so much? I have a friend whos sister is just like your SIL. If you and my friends sister were in the ocean and each had a life perserver my friends sister would try to get you to give her your perserver because she needs it more EVEN if you drown and she has an extra, she won't give a d*mn as long as she gets her way. This woman has a car of her own and money and food but still calls her mom for a ride to Mc Donalds for food which she thinks her mom will pay for. If you tell her she has her own d*mn money get it herself she'll say she has no money even though she just bought 6 pairs of sneakers for herself and her daughter. I lived with my best friend for 6 months and her sister was always calling begging for stuff even though she is in her late 20's and we were just 18 on our own for the first time. Talk about backwards! I say keep a good excuse handy for not seeing those kind of people because once they know you can cave in and do something, anything for them they'll sit on there butt and let you get to work.
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March 28th, 2005, 03:29 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 511
I'm so glad to hear there are others out there like this. It's funny how frustrating it can be. My husband can't stand it because he knows I have such a hard time saying no. She will come over all the time and I serve her and her kids supper and whatever else they want. She NEVER lifts a finger and is always asking me to get them stuff. My husband gets so mad, but we are in the position that we love our godchildren very much so we have to shut-up. At everyone house she is a guest and she will not lift a finger. I broke it to my husband recently that his mother is the same way. She is completely a guest at everyone's house. When we go to DH grandmas house for a holiday (MIL's mother) all her sister, cousins, and I clear off the table and MIL sits at the table and talks to us while we wash and clean up (SIL isn't there otherwise they would both sit there). MIL comes over to my house and I wait on everyone!! SIL and MIL sit down at the table and I don't even eat. I am busy waiting on everyone. DH feels bad and wants to help, but I feel bad making him do anything. But its funny when SIL has a party besides making most the food MIL pretty much does everything at the party. I mean it girls I am not kidding my SIL doesn't make anything for her kids b-day parties, a bag of chips and a jar of pickles. She then is the first one to get a plate and sit down and eat. It is kind of funny!! She is five years older then I am like you said about your friend and she acts like shes 10 yrs younger then me.

My two beautiful babies!!
Talon Joseph Born: December 17, 2005 8 pounds 2 oz.
Kaylee Jo Born: December 6, 2006 7 pounds 11 oz.
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March 28th, 2005, 06:30 PM
littlered's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 218
i have a sister inlaw that is like that. except everyone to do everything for you. and try to turn everyone against you. if your sil is doing you like this in your home tell her to leave. it is your house. i know you love your godchildren but you and your hubsand don't need that stress. it is not your reponsible to raise her children.

i am going to tell you what my parents keeps telling me. just ingore it as best as you can. yes i know it is hard to but you can try. if none of the stuff i have said helps you then i am sorry. maybe what you should do is record everything and then show it to your mil. it could help.

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