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Update on me. Sad discovery about my TTC time (for my old TTC Vets)

Forum: Trying to Conceive Your First Child


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November 8th, 2011, 01:11 AM
Brandielou's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,178
I just wanted to let y'all know of something not so great that I recently discovered about my time TTC.


But also wanted to tell y'all how much I really hold you near and dear to my heart. It may sound crazy but I feel like I do have a connection to y'all with the times I've spent here. When I come here it's because you guys are the only people in my life, in the world, that understand. That have understood and have supported me when no one else could. I'm so happy for so many of y'all on your journeys to and into motherhood. I hope that one day I'll have happier updates. I can't wait until I'll get to tell y'all I'm in love, like REAL love. That maybe one day I'll be getting married and if the site, and you girls, are still here, you will be the people I turn to if God grants me the chance to go on the road to TTC. The first people in my life to say the words, "I'm Pregnant!" and BFP! But I just wanted to thank all of you who have supported me here and offered me kinds words because in my darkest hours those are the ones I usually remembered the most. Thank you for all your friend requests on Facebook and all your kind words on Facebook because I enjoy having you all in my "me" world/Real Life (although online). Thank you is not a big enough word

Thank you HeatherW for my beautiful siggy!
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November 8th, 2011, 05:05 AM
MillerMom2b's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Cape Cod, Mass
Posts: 270
Hi brandie, we haven't met yet! My name is Ashley! I'm so sorry for how you have been feeling! He didn't sound like a good guy, but i get that it still leaves you feeling empty. He was such a big part of your life! Before I was with DH I had a loser bf who would emotionally abuse me, for 4 years I would cry over it, but I never saw that I could have better. I think someone better is out there for you, but first you need to take time to get yourself in a better place... I hope the ladies here can help you get there.....

Thank You Claire1979 for by beautiful Siggy!

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November 8th, 2011, 07:03 AM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: California
Posts: 11,271
So sorry to hear all of this, Brandie. I've not met you either. I'm Adrienne.

I truly hope you find the partner who will treat you right and love you forever, and are able to become the mother you deserve to be.

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November 8th, 2011, 07:29 AM
JustLiz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: East Coast
Posts: 2,140
Hi Brandie! I've seen you here and there. I'm sorry to hear your story, but I just wanted to say I'm SO GLAD you GOT AWAY from that man!!! You would have found out what he was like eventually and if you had a baby with him you would be stuck with him in your life forever. Now you have a chance for a real marriage and a happy life. I hope your journey gets easier from here.
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November 8th, 2011, 08:34 AM
kbpeanut's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: north county san diego, ca
Posts: 13,284
Hi Brandie,
I remember your story (I'm one of those that's also been around for almost 3 years). I am SO sorry to hear all of this. My heart truly goes out to you. However, I am glad that you were not put in a situation to find this out AFTER a baby was born into a falsehood of a marriage. That wouldn't be good for anyone (not saying the baby wouldn't be SO LOVED and WANTED by YOU). But, things have a way of working out for the right reasons. This was some "higher power's" way of setting you on the right course.

My thoughts go out to you as you being this new, healthy journey in life.

Big hugs from all of us vets

Thanks *Kiliki* for my amazingly perfect siggy!


Our TTC Journey | Pregnancy Journals: Nugget (or here) and Baxter (or here)
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November 8th, 2011, 10:15 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Myerstown, PA
Posts: 11,181
Hey Brandie... While it's good to see/hear from you again, I do wish the update were a happier one.

I cannot put into words how very sorry I am that you've even had to go through this. You hear so many people talk about how difficult TTC can be on your spirit, body, mind and marriage... But clearly, those were not the issues for your Ex. All for money... What a shallow individual.

I'm glad you're seeing someone you can talk to and get help (anti-depressants) from. I hope you'll be able to work through the pain and betrayal that you've been subjected to. You're a very strong woman and I just know you'll come out better for it on the other side.

Please know that I hope for nothing but the best for you. As much as it sucks, I'm coming to the realization that things tend not to happen on the timetable you'd like... I have faith that when the time is right, your Mr. Perfect will waltz in and change your life like you've never imagined...

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November 8th, 2011, 10:43 AM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
wow. I just read your story and I don't know if you may feel this way right now or not...but you ARE strong. And you will only get stronger.

I can only imagine how much it sucks to be in the situation you are in...but no woman should ever have to go through that type of heartache - and no REAL man would ever use a woman like that.

You will find your one true love...I absolutely believe everyone has that one out there...and he will treat you like a princess.

Just wanted to send you some
- -
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy

July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!

"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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November 8th, 2011, 11:21 AM
denalibear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: 100% Native Texan!!
Posts: 9,409
OMG girl...the whole time I read your update I felt myself getting angrier and angrier until eventually I was in tears. I want to strangle him. I am so sorry...I have said this before and I will say it again....You were way too good for him. You are an amazing woman that deserves so much more.

I know your mister right is out there and in time y'all will find each other and you will have the "American Dream." I know it sucks to have to wait...but it will happen for you.

I love ya girlie and I wish I could be there to give ya a huge hug and help decorate your Twilight tree....I know you are crafty and I remember some of your decorations from the past...I cannot wait to see your tree.

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November 8th, 2011, 12:16 PM
jojo2bee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 2,775
Hi Brandie, We have not meet but my name is JoLina. I am so sorry to hear your story! Just remember to keep your head up and the right person for you is out there and he will treat you right like a princess, the way you should be treated. You are a strong woman and just remember that OK. You will get through all of this and you will become an even stronger person! Once again I am so sorry!

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November 8th, 2011, 04:10 PM
SabrinaH's Avatar Pregnant with #1!
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Washington State
Posts: 1,147
I don't have much time to write a long response right now, but after reading your story I think you should be thankful for doing what he did. He did you a favor. Who wants to be married to a man who just wants you to pop a kid out so HE can get money? I wouldn't want that kind of a man to be my children's dad. That other woman can have him beause he'll probably leave her once the next good deal comes around!

Still sucks that you had to go through all that though and I'm sorry.

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November 9th, 2011, 02:57 PM
Mrs.Paradise's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Utah
Posts: 6,357
WOW! I DITTO EVERYTHING Nikki and Stef said!!! Brandie its really good to see you! but Im sorry for the reason we are seeing you! I agree that you will have your Mr. RIGHT soon!!! I believe that you just need to get yourself taken care of before you can meet him... and hey you may have met him and you just dont know he is "the one" because maybe your heart is just not healed enough for it... HUGE SUPER DUPER FREAKING BIG FAT GIANT MONSTER HOOKER FANGBANGER you will get your "American dream" I just KNOW IT!!! you are an AMAZING woman and ANY MAN would be LUCKY to have you!!! and I cant wait to see your twilight tree either!!! you are sooooooooooooooooooooooo talented!!!
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November 9th, 2011, 06:00 PM
hearts.0nfire's Avatar STPR lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 11,046
I'm lurking but I wish I could give you a big hug right now Brandie. That makes me so sick. I'm still praying you find an awesome guy who treats you right and if you ever need anyone to talk to you can always send me a message on fb.
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November 12th, 2011, 01:08 PM
Tammyms's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Edmonton AB, Canada
Posts: 6,451
Brandie, I can't even tell you how much this turns my stomach. I never in a million years thought I would read a story so sad and so sickening. I am so sorry that he did this to you, and even more sorry that you had to find this out now. It's hard enough the situation you went through, let alone that you keep finding out these hurtful acts just make it that much harder to put behind you.

In all this, please NEVER ever think that this is a reflection on you. This is all HIM, he was selfish and he put money before his wife and future children. He never deserved you, and in turn, you never deserved a... scmuck (I have many more words I'd like to insert here but JM would block them) like him. You are a wonderful person and for what it's worth I'm glad you learned who he truly was before you had kids together. I don't know if you remember Brandie, my ex husband was somewhat similar, just not so extreme. We were TTC, at his suggestion and the first time I said I was late, his face got all twisted and stressed and it looked like I had just told him the worst news in the world. I found out he wanted to TTC just to get more sex and hated kids, had no desire to have kids... with ME. He remarried and had a little boy with her. He had a son a year and a half after I moved out. So in some regard, I really do get what you're feeling and I am so sorry because it took me a long time to overcome they why her and not me feelings. In the end, what I realized is that my ex husband couldn't be alone, he just needed "someone" but he didn't need ME. And if he was good with just anyone filling the void and didn't need ME, then he was never good enough for me anyway and thank God we didn't have children together. I have now found someone who absolutely loves and adores me and needs ME in his life. We are best friends and are going through so much stress with TTC and financial struggles and looking back, I am thankful. If I hadn't gotten divorced and figured out that he didn't really love ME, I never would have found a man that does and I know I deserve that.

I'm rambling about myself because I want you to know that you are a better person and deserve so much more! I learned it, and I learned it the hard way and although I really wish we could have both gone through something less heartbreaking, I know one day you will come to this realization and be able to open your heart and let a man in who loves you and wants to live the American Dream with YOU.

Love you hun, I am always here if you need me

Make a pregnancy ticker
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November 29th, 2011, 09:40 PM
Brandielou's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,178
It took me a while to come back and read over my post again but thank y'all for all your support, it helps make me stronger. I'll be back here one day TTC'ing and I'll be hunting y'all down and I'll be one of the most annoying people ever posting threads and pics all the time

I wish all my TTC girls lots of baby and thank y'all again for all your kind words and support. JM feels like such a safe place sometimes

Thank you HeatherW for my beautiful siggy!
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