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Work Vs. TTC

Forum: Trying to Conceive Your First Child


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June 24th, 2013, 03:44 PM
epsilonbeta's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: California
Posts: 881
I am feeling really upset with my work right now and like I have to put off TTC for a couple months because of the stress. I'm a teacher and so "ideally" I would be due right before summer and be back afterwards. Well, we were starting now anyways because with my PCOS who the heck knows how long it'll take me to get pregnant. Then I got my work schedule for next year. I teach 5 periods a day and normally have to prep for 2 different courses. Next year they gave me 3 different courses to prep for and one of those is an AP college credit course I've never taught but have already been planning out. I already had this planned that *IF* I got pregnant right away I would be due after we started reviewing for their big AP exam so I wouldn't be teaching new stuff and could organize the review stuff for them ahead of time. I don't want to let any of my students down. Now with 3 different courses to prepare for I am just freaked out that I am going to be too stressed out at the start of next school year and don't know if I could handle being pregnant too. I desperately want to make a push to TTC this month because I should O on our 5 year anniversary and that would be really special, but now I am wondering if I should put it off this month. I've messaged my boss about my concerns with the course load (She specifically said in the past that it was her goal to never give a teacher this kind of schedule) but I don't want to mention anything about TTC for fear they'll take away my advanced course I've been working towards getting to teach. Although I *may* have a student teacher which now that I think about it could be her whole plan that the student teacher takes over one of my courses BUT I'm not supposed to know about that part and the student teacher won't know for sure until August. ACK. I hate unknowns and the anxiety it causes I don't want to plan my future around work, but I feel such a commitment to what I do that I don't want to short change my students.
Mommy to DS (2.5) and Adopted DS (19). PCOS success story.
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June 24th, 2013, 09:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Nebraska, USA
Posts: 1,021
I connect with this so much!!! We will be having three pregnant teachers in our district this coming year -- and NONE of the maternity leaves will line up ideally with any breaks.

In fact, mine will fall smack dab in the middle of our speech season. Something that is going to really effect what our team does this year...

Sure, we could have waited until August to try... then we would have lined up with summer better. But ya know what??? It really doesn't matter. Your students won't be scarred forever if you get knocked up and miss school to spend time with your precious new baby. I can tell you're a great teacher (because you're putting so much thought into this), which means you'll leave great sub plans and do everything you can to make sure learning goes uninterrupted while your gone.

I've subbed for a few maternity leaves. Here are some recommendations I have from the sub side of things: 1) set things out week by week, 2) find a sub that you really feel comfortable with, 3) have them come spend a day or so with you prior to you leaving. That way they get a feel for your class schedule, the atmosphere you have in your room, and a rough idea for what you're doing in the curriculum. 4) be willing to take phone calls/emails to help them out.

One teacher I subbed for was so worried that she didn't do enough to prepare me and was worried that her kiddos would be horrific. She emailed me every day the first week I was there, and after that, she realized that things were ok.

It would totally be a bonus if you got a student teacher. And as for your course load and bringing it up with your superiors... I'd totally leave out the TTC. They shouldn't change anything for you until you know when you'll need your maternity leave.

That's just my two-cents. Let me know if there's anything I can clarify/help with. I'll have my fingers crossed that you either get your BFP after your anniversary (SUPER CUTE!!!) or that your BFP waits a few months so that you won't have to worry about getting a long-term sub! I'll make sure to check in and see how things are going for you!
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June 24th, 2013, 11:33 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 723
It took me a loong time to realize the time is never going to be perfect, and I had always been able to find an excuse to wait just a little bit longer because of this that or the other thing. Ultimately it's up to you, and you certainly seem to have a lot on your plate for next school year. Hopefully you'll be one of of those people lucky enough to get knocked up the first time you decide to go for it, I have a lot of friends who did get pregnant on their first tries, that would be very convenient for planning purposes, and you are clearly a planner, which is a good thing I think. In my experience TTC hasn't been that easy to plan for me... so now... even though I initially said winters suck here and I do not want to be like 8 months pregnant in February when we have the WORST snow... I'm not going to miss out on even one cycle TTCing at this point.

If you think that your school system will be supportive and accommodating when you need maternity leave, and you think you can plan out the the course work for the end of the year and have a sub take over, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to start now. It's what.... a 20% chance of conception during any given cycle so you might not succeed the first time, hehe though that's the kind of gamble that will cause Murphy's Law kick in and it'll happen first time for you, when you really were thinking about waiting another month.

Sorry, I'm kinda all over the place! Good luck whatever you decide to do!

Last edited by Boolajoojoo; June 24th, 2013 at 11:42 PM.
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June 25th, 2013, 07:35 AM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 6,452
I think Jeralynn and Amy said everything I was thinking. It is so hard to ever plan for the "prefect time" because there will never be one. You always have to make the decision that is best for you but putting TTC on hold for my job is not something I would be willing to do at this point.

That does sound really stressful and hopefully they will be able to lighten your courses some. But I think you also have to consider if they kept your courses like that for several years then when would be a better time?

Cautiously expecting Seamonkey #2 Due Oct 4th

Missing our angels:
Molar pregnancy loss (12 weeks) - 1/2013
Missed Miscarriage (10 weeks) - 6/2013
Early Miscarriage (5 weeks) - 12/2016

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June 25th, 2013, 08:59 AM
KellJoO's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 4,116
It sounds like a lot to take on, along with TTC. Hopefully they can lighten your work load a bit.

I do agree though, that there never is a "perfect" time. Things could always work out better, but I think the beauty of it comes from that magical time when you do find out you are pregnant, ALL the hard work, stress & fatigue that went along with it will be worth it. And, when it does come time for baby to arrive, you'll make do. I can understand having such a strong commitment to work- but you'll also realize you now have an even stronger commitment to something else. <3

Everything seems to work itself out in the end. Best of luck to you. Worrying will not cure anything.
Mommy to

Brooks Kinlee Barnes
6 lbs 13 oz 18.25"
Two in Heaven
2/7/2013 (6w4d)
5/22/2015 (4w3d)

Expecting a Baby BOY early January 2017!
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June 25th, 2013, 11:33 AM
BabyBirdies's Avatar a sibling!
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Los Angeles!
Posts: 1,883
We had some of the same worries as you did when we started TTC - except on the other end, since I"m a graduate student. Of course, it didn't work out that way, and here we are 15 months later still waiting for a BFP.

It's possible you'd get your BFP. If you don't, would you look back and wonder about this cycle? Or the next one? There's nothing you can do that can guarantee a baby, but you can guarantee not conceiving.

Maybe go for NTNP until you're less stressed? This kind of stuff is tough, but it will work out
Jessica, Raif, Penny and expecting #2!

Two years TTC with #1 followed by a surprise BFP, born Dec. 2014
NTNP for 6 cycles, due Oct. 2016!

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June 25th, 2013, 11:39 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 27,101
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I have no words of advice, I just wanted to send you a hug and let you know that I did read the post!!!

I had pregnant teachers growing up, one had a baby in October (yes, and then took a 1 year mat leave), another in May (she took a year, and a bit of leave so the school could hire a full year replacement for her rather than her coming back with 7 weeks of school left). We did ok! We did better with pregnant teachers on Mat leave than we did when our 5th grade teacher broke her leg and was out for 10 weeks... I think it was because we were expecting it rather than having it thrown at us!

1798 Days to Conceive our Miracle!
Baby Girl Due August 7th 2017!!

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