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Bad Ob/Gyn Visit

Forum: Trying to Conceive Your First Child


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  • 1 Post By epsilonbeta
  • 2 Post By AnnaBonana

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July 14th, 2013, 08:57 PM
epsilonbeta's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: California
Posts: 881
At the very beginning of this month I met my new ob/gyn. She had me crying by the time I left. Refused to do any blood work because that was unnecessary, it's OBVIOUS I'm just already insulin resistant and have high testosterone because ALL women with PCOS have that....uhm, no! Refused to even consider talking about medication (Metaformin) because that's not used any more and studies are conflicting on if it even helps a woman get pregnant. I told her I was concerned about my long term health and not purely getting pregnant, and she said well no there's no point just eat better and lose weight. I told her I had been dieting and exercising and she told me to do more and she would send me to a nutrition class because I obviously wasn't doing it right. I asked her about risk of miscarriage with PCOS and what I should watch for and she thought I was crazy and told me there was no change in risk and that I just need to stop looking at research online because it's conflicting (She loved to say conflicting results). Then she said I just need to go to an infertility specialist anyways because I obviously need help. I told her I was trying to get pregnant without medication in my body first (We've only been 100% contraceptive free since March) and she said, no, she didn't think I could get pregnant on my own and it was time to talk to a specialist. She said I probably wouldn't get pregnant without IUI. All of this was with a smile and she seemed confused that I was questioning anything. The print up included the referral for an RE with side note of infertility. That was the final straw to bring the tears forward.

How does a doctor not get what a sensitive topic this is? How can a doctor not address a patients concerns other than to pass it on to someone else? How do you jump from a few months of no success to IUI?

Definitely not returning to her. Haven't decided whether I'm willing to acknowledge her referral to the RE yet.
AshleyO likes this.
Mommy to DS (2.5) and Adopted DS (19). PCOS success story.
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July 14th, 2013, 09:14 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,325
Oh Hun, I'm so sorry. I don't know why these people who are absolute imbeciles go I to medicine. And some of them are so defensive when people have done their research! It's like they're afraid of being shown up by some lowly non-doctor.

I recently had a m/c, and I had a horrible appointment with my GYN after. I'll spare you the long and awful details but at the end she actually said to me "I hope your next pregnancy is more successful". Seriously. She's a freakin obgyn... Se should at least have the decency to say "I'm sorry for your loss" and leave it at that! I don't know why these people are in these jobs.

Are you able to shop for a new one? I really hope you don't have to see her again. Se sounds condescending and rude!

My hope to offer you is that I did get to see a new GYN, and she is -- so far -- lovely, polite, understanding, and sensitive. I hope you have the same luck with your next!
AshleyO and epsilonbeta like this.
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July 14th, 2013, 09:25 PM
epsilonbeta's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: California
Posts: 881
Yup I can shop for one within our medical offices. It's a big Kaiser location so there are lots of options, the hard thing is keeping a good one when I find one. I had an amazing one back in March that pumped me up about taking this on (We hadn't confirmed my diagnosis yet but suspected based on listening to me) but she and was the one that told me to have a list of questions and concerns the next time I came in and then we'd do more blood work. She then got moved right after that. A lot of our doctors seem to be doing their residency work and so don't stay long.
Mommy to DS (2.5) and Adopted DS (19). PCOS success story.
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July 14th, 2013, 09:29 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 27,101
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Um wow.

1- find some one and file a complaint

2- find someone above that and file another

3- find a new OB

The reality of it is.. the OB's job really isn't to get you pregnant, but to deal with you after you are. Many now also take on pre-conception patients.. but then often forget at that point THEY have to do the legwork, not someone else. But really.. complain complain complain complain. There's no reason to refer you out to the RE with out basic bloodwork being performed.
1798 Days to Conceive our Miracle!
Baby Girl Due August 7th 2017!!

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July 15th, 2013, 07:32 AM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 6,452

I agree with Ashley - I would be complaining for sure because that all sounds insane. I am so sorry she put you through that. I would be changing doctors immediately because that is completely unreasonable.

Although I have to guiltily admit I might hang on to the RE referral just in case. . . those things are hard to come by here.

Cautiously expecting Seamonkey #2 Due Oct 4th

Missing our angels:
Molar pregnancy loss (12 weeks) - 1/2013
Missed Miscarriage (10 weeks) - 6/2013
Early Miscarriage (5 weeks) - 12/2016

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July 15th, 2013, 11:52 AM
Cait&AngelAbove's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 10,635
I'm so sorry the doctor was so horrible!

Thank you so much Bokkechick for the perfect siggie!!!
12-10-10 2-6-12
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July 15th, 2013, 12:29 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Derbyshire, UK
Posts: 4,985
I'm so sorry you had such a crappy appointment, I've had a couple myself where ive ended up in tears. I did complain about one which went really badly - my motivation was more than I hated the idea of them putting someone else through it. It was awful.

I hope you can find a new doc soon and that they stick around. Hope you're feeling ok today. Oh and from things i've read on here about ladies wanting referrals to an RE, it might just be worth hanging onto it for a while and see how you feel

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July 15th, 2013, 03:38 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 698
That doctor is absolutely ridiculous! I am so sorry you had to go through that. Just because we don't have an MD doesn't mean that we can't interpret study results. They just seem like they didn't want to take the time to actually work with you. I hope you find a much better doctor who will take care of you professionally and with a caring heart!

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July 15th, 2013, 06:53 PM
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Washington, D.C.
Posts: 94
I'm so sorry!! You shouldn't have had to go through all that. I am still getting over my horrible appt last week. I hope you're able to find a better and more sensitive OB. <3

3w 4d - 7.6.13
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