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Tell him or wait?

Forum: Trying to Conceive Your First Child


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October 21st, 2005, 06:46 PM
MommaBear47's Avatar Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 28
OK here is the situation ladies..I need your advice. DH I love him to death, but ever since we decided to try and have a little one he hasn't really been into it at all. Like he doesn't really want to talk about things and it feels weird brining things up to him. I mentioned that this week was the week to find out, and I got the blank deer in the head lights look. So, I looked at him for a while then he realized what I was talking about...I said do you want to go out and get a test and see like the day before or when did he want to test blah blah...he said it was a waste of money and to wait until AF comes. not what I wanted to hear, so he confessed that he is freaked out by this whole thing and I understand...So, here is the other part. Wed was the day according to calculation that AF was supposed to come...that day came and went no AF..woot...today....came and went still no AF. Now just because I am excited I checked the day before on Tuesday and got a negative response. I am still feeling sick all day and still no AF. I am not sure if she is just teasing me or what but she doesn't show any sign of coming.

Here is where you come in, do I tell him now that she still hasn't come or wait until say Sunday which is a month mark from the first day AF showed up? At this point I don't know...the tests don't say anything but AF isn't here...I have never been on BC or anything so my body isn't out of wack...so I dunno...

What do I do?

"How would you like it if you were a business
executive and when you made a mistake, a red light
went on and 18,000 people started screaming?" -
Jaques Plante, Goalie
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October 22nd, 2005, 10:20 AM
Posts: n/a
If there is still a chance that she could come than I would wait. I know when I had just gotten off of the BCP and my husband didn't really want a baby yet (we were off the BCP due to insurance issues) I would wait until I KNEW what was going on. There were a few days that AF was late and instead of telling him and freaking him out for no reason I would just wait it out and then she would usually come.
In your case, if you want a baby, good luck with AF staying away. You husband will get over his freaked outness. As my husband said "The freaked out feeling just comes and goes".

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October 23rd, 2005, 10:42 AM
garshgirl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,669
First off, Congratulations, it sounds pretty good for you. Second, He may be nervous, but as a couple you decided to try. He's probally just scared, but once he hears the heartbeat, i'm sure all will change. Good luck! Let us know when you test again.

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October 23rd, 2005, 07:09 PM
MommaBear47's Avatar Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 28
Ok, here is an update...After posting I thought about it a while...and I figured we are in this together, and as a couple it's not a good thing to hide things..and maybe hiding things because I don't want to freak him out anymore might actually contribute to freaking him out (yes I am an over thinker..lol). So I mentioned it to him, and he was like ok...doesn't mean anything your body is wacky anyways which we already knew...(k, note this is the man who argued with me on a conversation we had about its normal to have a 28 day cycle and he thought I was nuts when I said it has it's own mind...). Ok I'll give him that...Today is the 23rd and Still no AF....hmm...so I fess up and tell him hey I took the test the other day...however when I was doing a bit of clean up...I wanted to look at it ...just incase I missed something..rofl...well here is the thing..it looks like a second line was almost there...it was very light...so again...might be my mind...so I tell him..keep that line of communication open...he teases me for being over eager but still says doesn't ean anything....Oh well I'm sure you guys are right..once it's final and the shock of HI YOUR GONA BE A DAD wears off he will be ok....

So I want to say thank you for your response...I'm sure at some point things will fall into place...

"How would you like it if you were a business
executive and when you made a mistake, a red light
went on and 18,000 people started screaming?" -
Jaques Plante, Goalie
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October 23rd, 2005, 11:20 PM
IansMom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Burnaby, BC
Posts: 11,125
I think that stress can also cause your body to do wacky things... like make AF reallly really late. When I thought I was pregnant (way back when I was 18 and not wanting a baby at all) my AF was almost 3 weeks late, mainly because I was so stressed out.
Relax, wait to the end of the month, if still no AF, test and cross your fingers! I hope you caught the eggie... Keep us posted!

www.kimculbert.com - kim culbert photography
capture life ~ capture moments ~ capture love

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October 28th, 2005, 12:04 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 4,298
go get another test!! my first line was super light and dh refused to believe me that it even existed! (the line) so we waited 2 days took another and bingo i am prego he was very very nervous too but once i got him to agree to try i didn't want to turn back, he couldn't be happier now, we are 15 weeks along and he loves the baby more than life already! good luck!!

Thanks for the sweet siggie KILIKI

Jeneane and Mario Married 10/29/05

Sydney Mia 4/16/06 7lbs. 6ozs. 19 inches

Dean Marcus 7/17/09 6 lbs 12 0zs. 20 inches
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October 28th, 2005, 12:51 PM
wantababy26's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 654
I have to agree...I would go take another test. Especially if there was a faint line there at all. Plus it's been more than a day or two overdue so you might as well just see! Good luck!

Jake December 13th, 2006 6lbs 15oz. Jake 2 years 33lbs!!!!! What a big boy!

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