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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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August 5th, 2008, 02:30 PM
♥RainyLane's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: northern california
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It's ok if you don't read the whole thing. I just realized how long this is... I think I just needed to get my frustrations out... heh.

At my first visit I was about 7 weeks. The doctor wasn't very personable which bothered me but whatever, but I told him that I was really glad I was beyond the point I miscarried before and he goes on and on about how you can lose a baby at any time and pretty much saying it's not that much to be excited about. I scheduled my next appointment with a different doctor. She was just hired on so I figured she would be good to try out. I thought maybe she'd be more friendly and trying to make herself seem like a good doctor get a good reputation or something, made sense to me at least. It was this morning. I was told when I made the appointment that we would listen to the heartbeat. When I went in i asked if i could get another ultrasound too since my first one he was tilted and we didn't get that good of a look. She did it really fast, showed me very quickly the flicker of the heart and that was it. Then she was going to have me leave. I told her I thought we were going to listen to the heartbeat, she said she thought seeing it was better and it should be fine. She ended up getting out the doppler, moving it around a whole bunch really fast and saying sometimes you can't hear it this early and she couldn't find it. It didn't even seem to me like she tried. I have been so freaking stressed about everything and this appointment was supposed to help me regain my sanity but no. I don't know what the heartrate was or anything. Just the results of my blood test, thats all I got out of the appt. Everything is fine there. She wants me to have my next appt in 6 weeks, that would be 2 weeks before my ultrasound. Why not make it in four weeks and have four weeks to the ultrasound? I can't wait that freaking long. She told me I had ketones in my urine and asked about how I'm eating. She didn't really explain anything. Now I'm freaked out. I got a sandwich to go from somewhere and they forgot the meat and I freaked out because I was worried about not eating well enough and then I get no meat on a sandwich. I cried on the phone when I called them, then when I got off I had a complete break down. Stupid sandwich...
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August 5th, 2008, 03:06 PM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 10,074
Ohhh, I'm sorry....It sounds like both doctor don't care much what their job are about. How frustrating, I know this might not be an option, but can you change doctors again? After how she treated you, I would not go back to her. I know that at 12 weeks you can hear the h/b, we heard ours at 12w, so it sounds like she didnít want to try. Also, maybe she was having a bad day, we all have one of those, so maybe you might want to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Iím surprise, they are making you wait 6 week, that is a long time, maybe you can call them and lie to them about how you have to go back earlier because something else came up.


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August 5th, 2008, 03:20 PM
Wee3monkeys's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 3,352
Oh, Aimee!! I'm sorry, hun! I agree, I think you should find another office. There's no reason a dr.'s appointment should be that upsetting, hun! If it is, then they're not doing something right for you! I went to an OB like that for a few weeks, and then I couldn't take it anymore and switched. I love my new doctor! Being pregnant can be nerve-wracking and miserable enough, don't add in a bad doctor! You want to enjoy your pregnancy, or as much as possible, and an office like that just won't make that very easy.

I'm sorry you had a rough day!!

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August 5th, 2008, 03:27 PM
*Judy*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: California
Posts: 3,320
Awww you poor thing! I have cried over things like sanwhiches before also. It always makes me feel ridiculous. As for the appointment, just call back and reschdule it for 4 weeks. I honestly think 6 weeks is way to long. Also just to give you a heads up at my 14 week appointment we could not hear the heartbeat because I am a bit fluffy, so my doc did an u/s. So it may be that the baby was in the wrong place or just being difficult as to why she could not get it on the doppler. If you are uncomfortable with your doc you may want to go ahead and change again. You really need to feel comfortable, especially after all you have gone thru.
Thanks BAM for my amazing siggy
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August 5th, 2008, 04:30 PM
amandakay29's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 1,868
I'm sorry about the bad appointments. The ketone thing I would call and check with them. I do know that you shouldn't worry about the protein not being on your sandwich. When I've done the atkins diet (which is mostly protein) ketones will show up in the urine. So you got the part of the sandwich you would need the carbs!! I'm sorry you're having such a bad day.
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August 5th, 2008, 04:51 PM
woohoo502's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Illinois
Posts: 6,635
I swear, where do some of these doctors get their bedside manners, the dollar bin at Target? I'm sorry you had two bad experiences. I would look for another doctor, because that is just not acceptable. I also agree that 6 weeks is a long time in between appointments. Hopefully you can find a doctor that you like soon!
~Whitney mommy to Zoe 9/26/08 and Zachary 3/2/12~

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August 5th, 2008, 05:05 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,632
I am sorry that your dr. wasn't much better than the other one. It really sounds like they are just treating you as though you have never been pregnant before and that just isn't going to fly. I agree with the pp and maybe you should look for another dr. however if that isn't possible then maybe the dr. was just having a bad day or something and will be better at the next appt. What kind of dr. is it that your seeing anyways? Is it an ob or just a family dr? Most people aren't seen much in the first or second trimester, but someone who has had a loss needs that extra reassurance so sometimes we have to fight for what we want. I don't know if it will make you feel any better, but whenever they do an u/s on me they don't use the doppler. Unless there is a problem in the pregnancy they usually see you around 12 weeks and again between 18-20 so they are doing the typical visits. I would call the office and tell them you can't make that appt. and reschule it for closer to 4 weeks.

Now about the ketones, that means you are spilling sugars into your urine. You can go to the pharmacy and buy ketone sticks to see if you are always showing ketones. You basically dip them into your urine and match the color of the strip to the container. If you have a couple days of that you could even go above your Ob's head and just call your family doctor and tell them. They may do the Glucose test on you earlier than normal just to make sure.

Let us know what you end up doing. I definitely think that you should try to find another dr. There are 9 doctors at my dr. offic and I only like 2 of them, so sometimes it takes a while but so worth it once you find the right one! Good luck and yay for seeing your baby's heart beating away.
Thank you Mistyx5 for my siggy.

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August 5th, 2008, 08:12 PM
victorialv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,926
That is just ridiculous that you are having such a hard time finding a good doctor! I have had the same problem in the past, and it can be SOO frustrating and nerve-wracking when you are pregnant. Even if she was just having a bad day, that does not give her the right to treat you that way. I find good doctors put their personal issues on hold, and treat their patients kindly 100% of the time. You deserve that as everyone does, and I would not stop looking until I found it.

My best piece of advice.....talk to your friends, family, co-workers, other doctors you TRUST and find out who they recommend. Be sure to mention that bedside manners is very important. Some doctors are well respected, but suck at bedside manners. I was referred to 2 OB's that were obvisouly very smart and well accomplished but impersonal and cold. However, I got another referral from my acupuncturist and friend who referred me to the same doctor. He was hard to get into, but so gald I waited and put up with a busy office staff. He is wonderful!

Good luck and please KUP!

Angels in Heavan.
Helena May, June 28, 2007 & Alexander Michael, October 11, 2007
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August 6th, 2008, 06:08 AM
Posts: n/a
I don't know if this will come out right. It's such a difficult time after having suffered one or more mc's to relax and a lot of doctors don't understand that.

When I first found out, I was like you and it drove me crazy. What helped was taking it one day at a time and just marking on my calendar for each tiny and huge milestone.

We have a special member here, Danielley08, who just lost her baby, and still pops in with wonderful words of support. Something she said to another member caught my heart and I wish I had heard those words when I first found out. She said.......TODAY you ARE pregnant!!!

We have to remember that, we are blessed to be pregnant today. We can't change what will happen, nor can we stop a mc, it's all in God's hands and that's why taking it one day at a time really helps and realizing that you have been chosen to carry this baby be it a few weeks or to term.

I've been in the same spot as you and the hardest part is my care here in England. Basically....it sucks. I would love if I could go to my doctor and request an US and they do it. Unfortunately, none of our doctors have US machines and you have to be refered to the hospital to get one. Actually, we don't even get a doctor, we have midwives and they are so understaffed that sometimes labouring mums are turned away from the hospital. I am nearly 24 weeks and it has been 10 weeks since my last check up. I wanted more reassurance as well, needed to know if my baby is ok. Had none of that here. Back to taking it one day at a time.

On the other end of not receiving care, I'm happy that all is well and I haven't needed to be seen and I am grateful for that.

I don't mean to upset you but be grateful that you got to see your baby's heart beating away. I'm sure if your doctor thought there was something wrong she would have said something. I would love to be back in the states and have the care I was given with my last 2 boys, but I'm grateful that at least I have something. Sometimes that's hard to think about and sometimes it's easy.

But as Danielley08 said......TODAY you ARE pregnant!!! and I'll take that to my heart everyday. I promise it will get better and you will enjoy your pregnancy.

God bless hun
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