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I'm having a hard time

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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September 1st, 2008, 09:48 AM
akafrogs's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Chi-town suburbs
Posts: 6,966
Sorry, I just have to get this out, because I'm sure you ladies will understand.

I'm having a lot of trouble getting excited about this pregnancy. I keep forgetting I'm pregnant. I think I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop or something. I had my betas done at 13 & 15 DPO and they were good 108 and 296. I'm feeling kinda sick most of the day, I'm tired, and my boobs hurt. But my first appoinment isn't until the 25th of September and I will 9w2d that's 3.5 weeks away. I just am truely scared that there won't be anything there.

I'm just having such a hard time getting excited. So much can happen before April. I was more attached to my m/c and I m/c at 4w0d, and knew I was going to a day before that because my HPT turned negative. But I hadn't experienced a loss, and just didn't think it could/would happen. Every so far about his is very matter of a fact. I should be finding out the sex around Christmas, I would be having my c-section around the 8th of April. There's no emotion attached to it.

I don't know, I just feel like some of the joy is sucked out of this pregnancy and it won't be real until I see the heartbeat.
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September 1st, 2008, 09:54 AM
*Judy*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: California
Posts: 3,320
I am sorry you are going through this. I have been there too, as have many of us. I was around 20 weeks are so before I really got excited. It is so hard after the hurt we have been thru. Once you start to feel baby move you will feel better I promise. Just HUGS to you and know we are here for you!
Thanks BAM for my amazing siggy
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September 1st, 2008, 11:53 AM
dee68's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Illinois ( originally From New Jersey:)
Posts: 13,040
Send a message via Yahoo to dee68
it is so hard to let go and finally get excited.....
I was also around 20 weeks when I finally decided to REALLY start to enjoy it ! that iw when I found out I was gaving a girl and started shopping for her

in time hon it will get easier,
like Judy said, we are all here for you !!!

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September 1st, 2008, 12:19 PM
Madison.Hailey.Zack's Avatar Mom of 2 Girls and a Boy!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 11,069
I had the same feelings in the beginning of this pg too. I was around 19 1/2 weeks when I finally let it sink in that this was real and thats when I found out we were having a girl and I was also able to start shopping for her. Its so hard not to worry when you've had a loss. We are all here for you.

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September 1st, 2008, 12:51 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I had periods of excitement through my pregnancy with Erin, but there wasn't any one point where I could just be excited. Of course, my loss was at the end, so my perspective is a bit different.

I'm more excited about this pregnancy. Maybe it's because I have a baby between my loss and this pregnancy.

I hope you quickly reach a more relaxed point! And don't worry if you don't feel attached. It doesn't mean you don't love your baby. It's just hard after what we've been through.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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September 2nd, 2008, 12:09 PM
mom 2 haley & tyler's Avatar formerly mommy2haley17
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: TX
Posts: 8,212
I agree with the other ladies. I think that after you see that heartbeat you will feel much better. It's all so scary, but know we are all here for you.

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September 2nd, 2008, 06:01 PM
akafrogs's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Chi-town suburbs
Posts: 6,966
Thank you. I know I will feel better after I get my u/s and then hear the heartbeat. It's just suck a long wait. Three weeks and 2 days more.
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September 2nd, 2008, 06:09 PM
~DaemonMykailasMum~'s Avatar 1 of Each is such a Treat
Join Date: May 2008
Location: ~*West Coast of BC Canada*~
Posts: 4,647
I am the same.. I still havent gotten excited, and I am 11 wks 4 days!.. My loss was at 10 weeks.. I thought I would get excited once I past 10 weeks.. But Im not... Im still scared sh!tless.. I have an u/s tomorrow that Ive been waiting for since I was 5 weeks! Its been 6 long weeks and now Im totally nerous and scared about the u/s that ive been waiting for for so long ...

Daemon (DS) born Oct 11th, 2006
Angel grew wings on May 8th, 2008
Mykaila (DD) born on Mar 8th, 2009
Angel grew wings on Aug 11th 2015
Angel grew wings on June 15th, 2016

Angel grew wings on Sept 13th, 2016
Faint line @ 9 dpo Nov 15th
12 dpo hcg: 64
15 dpo hcg: 238
18 dpo hcg: 553
22 dpo hcg: 3033

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