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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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September 16th, 2008, 11:52 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,632
I am hesitantly having a baby shower. I am supposed to go and register today and I am freaking out a little bit. I don't even know what I should register for. I was thinking about bath stuff. What is the best thing to use early on and in december? Did you get one of those little tubs or just wash them in the sink? Any special soap or lotions? I always had skin problems as a kid, so I am a little worried that Hannah will have problems with soaps, any suggestions? What are some of the things you couldn't live without?

I know I want one of those nice monitor systems that have video too. I know it is a bit pricy but I will get a lot of use out of it in this house. Its a large house and when I am working on her scrapbook while she is sleeping I will want to watch her without disturbing her. Did any of you get one and which one do you like the best?

As for breastfeeding, is it wrong to register for a pump? I know it is expensive but if someone goes in with another family member it could be done. So should I put that on the registry too or is that something we should just buy on our own?

Please offer all you can. I am a little stressed at the moment anyways because this is the week of gestation that I lost Abby. I feel like I am jumping the gun by going and registering so soon, but my MIL and my mom are going to buy the crib and dresser tomorrow. And my sister is buying the bedding from out of town so she wants to make sure she gets the right ones. I am thinking about just registering the items they are buying for now and doing the rest later...but I kind of want to get it all done now.

So what are some items you couldn't live without? Which ones were a waste of money?
Thank you Mistyx5 for my siggy.

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September 16th, 2008, 01:12 PM
dee68's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Illinois ( originally From New Jersey:)
Posts: 13,040
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Rhonda it is overwhelming isnt it ????

Monitors- I have both kinds....and like them both equally
Bath stuff - we started her in the sink, we also have a bath seat for the tub, but it kills my back right now leaning over the tub and kneeling, so I bought a little bath tub that fits over my kitchen sink...love it!!!

for washes,lotions and soaps, I think it is trial and error to tell you the truth....uh oh...hang on...the queen is calling.....lol


I use Johnson & Johnson stuff....also Aveeno, Burt's Bees, and Huggies natural care disposable washcloths.

my registires are in our private forum.... I was scared at first, but then had so much fun picking out baby stuff!
just a little advice, I wouldnt buy the pump just yet...make sure BFing is for you.....I bought medela pump and used it like 5 or 6 times....we switched to formula. Many hospitals have rentals.

check out the new parents check list too I have in our Helpful infoo forum

don't stress ! pick out your stuff and have fun mama!


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September 16th, 2008, 01:15 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I know what it's like to be so scared. I never registered for any of my babies. Cora I never got around to it...and with Erin I was just too scared to.

As for the baths, I would definitely get one that has a sling in it so they can lay supported. I got a cheap one that just had a tilted edge, which meant that I always needed to be holding her with one hand, which made it very difficult for me

As for baby washes, I really like Aveeno. And I really like the unscented one. I have more sensitive skin than Erin, so I actually did it for my hands, and I've had no problems with that one. Some of the others made me itchy, but that one doesn't.

As for registering for a pump: well, you registered for the crib and stuff right? I don't see any problem with putting a pump on a registry. After all, people will buy within their price range, so as long as you don't ONLY have large expensive items, then having a few doesn't seem inconsiderate to me. If someone wants to get you something big, then it gives them the chance to see what you need.

Good luck honey. Try to have fun with it! Think of it in a positive light. Or try anyway. And it's okay if you need to take a moment to cry.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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September 16th, 2008, 01:51 PM
Posts: n/a
I didn't have to register this time as they don't do showers over here but it is overwhelming.

I've had regular plastic baths and they never worked my baby, ended up with one that had a soft sling in it but took too long to dry so this time I have the Fisher Price Aquarium that is more mesh and should dry faster.

For very sensitive skin, I would try Baby Mustela. They have something for everything and my little one got a bad case of cradle cap and it cleared it up so quickly. Burts Bees is good too. Some of the bath items just have too much fragrance.

Gerber flat cloth diapers are great for burp cloths and you get a lot for your money.

If you're breastfeeding exclusively you wont need an electric pump unless you are going to work full time. Even part time, you don't need a huge one. I know you can get things done faster with electric but the single manual ones can be just as good. My favorite is the Medela Harmony and I have bought a new one for this baby. Avent Isis is also a great one. I got just as much milk from those as my double electric Medela.

A baby swing is a must have for babies, well not all like them, but mine loved their swings.

I love the idea of a video baby monitor too.

Also, register for extra sheets, you can never have too many.

I think you'll have a great time going through the store and just play it by ear to what you would like for your sweet baby girl.

Plus if you change your mind, you can always add and delete!

I hope you have a good time!
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September 16th, 2008, 02:09 PM
Sabina's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,657
Wow this a big deal! Try to relax and have fun picking things out. I know it's easier said then done especially with your last loss being so close.

I agree with Dee that you can rent a pump and see if you need it or how much you use it before buying one. Ppl will give you gift cards so maybe set those aside if you need a pump later you can use those.

I have an Angel care monitor that monitors the baby heart rate and beeps if it can't sense it. I LOVE it and highly recommend it but the video one sounds like it would be just as good at keeping you from worrying.

I used a little bath tub until Benjamin was about three months old and then he didn't fit anymore but he is unusually long. Now we use a bath seat in the tub. I think bath products are trial and error but my personal favorite is the Little Goat's Milk brand because makes his skin nice and it smells good but it's not overpowering like some bath products.

Some things I can't live without or couldn't live without:

Boppy pillow if you plan on BFing
shirts with no bottoms (can't remember what they are called) for when you are too tired to do snappys

Hope that helps!
Thank you Jaidynsmum for the beautiful siggy
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September 16th, 2008, 02:35 PM
Mum2three's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: St. John's Newfoundland
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Well i have the Angel Care monitors and i love them! after having a loss they put your mind at ease at night and during the day
For the bath tubs, i had a plastic one and i would set it up on the coffee table. i use Aveeno products i find it doesnt dry out their skin compared to the high perfume ones. For a breast pump you can rent them instead of buying one and having it sit there. I did that. No need for a boppy pillow or anything like that, thats why theres pillows..lol..thats all i use. diaper genie is a waste of money! get yourself a garbage can and put scented bags into them.

Please dont stress out...its not worth it! you will get everything you need. Oh yeah get a swing..LOL..they are a life saver!

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September 16th, 2008, 03:22 PM
Generally Crispy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,844
I've never registered.

I have had a pump before so I can offer a few suggestions. The first pump I had was horrible. The suction was low...no matter what I did.

My daughter spent two weeks in ICU when she was 2 weeks old due to RSV and they brought me in a hospital breast pump. It was by far the best breast pump I ever had. I end up renting one. I dont remember how much it cost to rent it. But it was well worth it. I think the brand was Medella and it came with all kinds of great breast feeding this like Soothies. I loved those things for when I got sore.
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September 16th, 2008, 09:09 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,632
Dee, thanks for the info. I know I am a little unsure about the pump thing because what if she doesn't latch on or I have a problem because of the lovenox or something. Should I still register for bottles though? I mean those could be used even if I pump right? I think I will go with you girls suggestion of Aveno. I used that stuff while pregnant with Abby because I broke out so bad.

Brittanie, you didn't have a shower for either of the girls then? If you find out your having a boy do you think you might have a shower to get the boy things?

Pamela, thanks for the idea about diapers for burp cloths. I know I have used those in the past while babysitting and they really are more absorbent anyways. I will be sure to add those to my list. Oh and I already registered for the swing!

Sabina, what is the name of the monitor you use that beeps if there is no heartbeat detected?? I haven't seen that one, but now I know that is what I want for sure!! The shirts with no bottoms...do you mean the sleep sacs? I saw those today and thought that would be nice because she wouldn't need to be with blankets in the crib and easy for changing in the night.

Brandy, thanks! I managed to go through the store as overwhelming as it was. It was kind of fun, but I will be going back with dh because he said he didnt' want me to pick out everything pink! lol Besides I like to make him more involved. And the swing is pink that I registered for..hehe

Vanessa, I will have to check into that. I wouldn't mind renting one because if I can't do it for some reason then I am only out a month fee instead of the whole thing. When I first heard about renting them I thought it was gross..but they explained that I buy the cups seperately, so I feel a little better about that.

Thanks for all your help ladies.

Oh what about safety items...baby gate, outlet covers, so on? I should register for some of that too right? What about the bumbo's?
Thank you Mistyx5 for my siggy.

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September 16th, 2008, 09:20 PM
dee68's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Illinois ( originally From New Jersey:)
Posts: 13,040
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sure ....pick out your bottles, especially if you have your heart set on a specific kind....
I only wanted the Playtex nursers so I made sure they were on there.
honestly, whatever you want or think you may need.....put it on there !!

I havent gotten Katie's bumbo yet...I have heard mixed things about them, some babies like them, some don't.

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