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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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October 3rd, 2008, 09:03 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I love that I am having a baby. I love being a mother. I wouldn't ever give up this baby for anything.

But the truth is, I'm not a happy pregnant woman. I have been having chronic very bad headaches this past week, and yesterday was the worst of it. I needed to vent and I felt that I could trust you ladies to understand where I was coming from.

The truth is if there was any way I could get a baby of my own without being pregnant first I would do it. Even if it meant being in labor for a week straight, I'd do it. I truly do not enjoy pregnancy. I hate the way I feel when I'm pregnant.

That doesn't mean that I don't love and want this baby more than anything. If feeling great physically right now meant giving Reeses up, I obviously wouldn't do it. I will deal with it, because the baby means that much to me.

But I reserve the right to complain because pregnancy sucks. I wish that I could be one of those women who loves being pregnant but I'm not.

And in case anybody cares, I'm feeling a bit better this morning.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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October 3rd, 2008, 09:14 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 10,074
ohh Britt.....I'm glad you are feeling better this morning.
I understand the headache situation, for months now, I been getting a headache everyday, it's like a clock, also really bad allergies that make me miserable all day all. So I understand the not being happy when you are pregnancy. For me this is the first time I'm pregnant so, everything is completely new to me.
I know that you are happy that you have a little one inside you growing and I know that you would not give him up for anything in the world. I just want you to know that I understand and that I support you.


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October 3rd, 2008, 09:39 AM
Madison.Hailey.Zack's Avatar Mom of 2 Girls and a Boy!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 11,069
I'm so sorry that you are having a hard time but so happy to hear that you are feeling better today. I know what you mean about not feeling great while pg. I know that as much as I want Madison I just hate being pg or at least this trimester. I feel bad complaining after everything I've been through but I'm sorry I'm so uncomfortable that I'm ready to be done. I guess its just part of the journey. I told DH just last night that as much as I wanted to be pg I dont want to be anymore and we're waiting while before I go through this again. I think it has a lot to do with what we are going through body wise and I know we are each getting a great gift at the end of all this but we're only human and when we're hurting then we complain. What person doesnt. Again I'm happy your feeling better today and dont ever feel bad for complaining, we all have our days.

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October 3rd, 2008, 10:19 AM
Wee3monkeys's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 3,352
I'm glad you are feeling better today, Brittanie!!

I don't think anyone was really attacking you, hun. Some times the feelings of pg/ttc ladies are just a little raw, and we're all hormonal. I understand where you're coming from. I'm not a big fan of being pregnant either, I just don't overly enjoy it; I love having my precious baby growing in there, but there are so many uncomfortable things about it. The outcome of the pregnancy is the goal though, that little bundle of love. I'd do anything to get there, we all would, you too which is why you're doing something you don't enjoy (being pregnant) to get that little bundle at the end. We know you, hun, we understand; you don't have to defend yourself to us. We know you're a GREAT mother, and we know you wanted another baby, and we know you were and are thrilled about little Reese's. Yes, for some people pregnancy just isn't any fun; we know we wanted to be here, so we try not to complain but that's HARD. It's hard to not say anything about being sick, bloated, fat, uncomfortable, in pain, kicked, etc. It's darn near impossible not to complain a little, even though this is what we wanted sooooo much. It's ok, Brittanie, I don't think you should feel bad about voicing that at all.

I keep thinking, if I'm this big, and this uncomfortable at 6 months; Oh Lord how am I going to feel and look come January?????

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October 3rd, 2008, 10:26 AM
jademyst13's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 5,129

I understand what you are saying, never took it any other way, of course I also know that pregnancy is rough on you personally. I am glad that you are feeling better.
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October 3rd, 2008, 11:14 AM
mom 2 haley & tyler's Avatar formerly mommy2haley17
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: TX
Posts: 8,212
I'm sorry if you thought I was attacking you. I was just voicing my opinion. Sorry, I will just learn to keep my mouth shut. I think you are a wonderful mom and I never thought otherwise. I know this baby means a lot to you. I never doubted that either. Again, I'm sorry if what I said upset you.

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October 3rd, 2008, 02:34 PM
Madison.Hailey.Zack's Avatar Mom of 2 Girls and a Boy!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 11,069
Can I just add that every woman who is pg is going to complain about something so dont feel bad at all. And honestly any woman that says that they had NOTHING to complain about while pg is crazy Everyone just handles it differently and whos to judge how others chose to handle their pg conplaints. KWIM?

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October 3rd, 2008, 03:31 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Thanks ladies. I'm still recovering from this last week. My head still hurts, but I can stand up without feeling like I'm going to fall over, and my head doesn't feel seconds from exploding, so it's an improvement.


So, now I'm not so defensive or ornery. I think I can go back to being the happy me.

((my goodness, this has been my easiest pregnancy so far too. How on earth did I survive my others??? Maybe that's why I have so few real memories of my other pregnancies.))
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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October 3rd, 2008, 06:58 PM
Sabina's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,657
Oh memories! I also had such a hard time being pg and I was always told to shut up and just be happy I was pg after wanting it for so long. So that being said I feel your pain hun and anytime you need to vent just pm me. I WILL be pg again even after all I went through during my pg and why you ask? Because just like you I LOVE being a Mom and sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. That doesn't mean you gotta love it though
Thank you Jaidynsmum for the beautiful siggy
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October 3rd, 2008, 08:48 PM
angelmomjen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1,648
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You know I hate shopping but I love new cloths, and I hate going to the denist but I love clean healthy teeth.

My point is, you dont have to love the process to want and love the outcome. I do not like being pregnant. I lived in fear most days and just wanted to be a mom. People say be grateful, and you should be, but I dont think you arent just because you arent happy being pregnant.

I will have more babies, at least one more one day and I wont love being pregnant then, but I know the outcome is worth the situation, so even though I will complain and mutter under my breath, I am doing it because I want to be a mom to that baby.

Your a great mom Britt, and have no reason to feel bad for complaining, we are family, and you should not have to censor your feelings.
Im glad your feeling better.
Thanks Nami for my beautiful siggy!
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October 3rd, 2008, 08:56 PM
NeeshBoogie's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 586
I wasn't here for the previous discussion, but I'm glad you're feeling better today. The headaches are indeed killer. I can attest to that. Hopefully your discomforts will ease up. If not...you can always look at the fact that you're almost there!

Thank you Mod-MommaTrish for my gorgeous siggy!!!

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October 3rd, 2008, 09:53 PM
~*Kixs*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Texas
Posts: 12,914
(((HUGS))) I HATE being pregnant but love each one of my children (angels included) and would endure the 9 months of morning sickness, peeing on myself, head aches, no sleep, etc. any day of the week for my sweet babies. I am not a happy pregnant lady either ... but remember you will not be pregnant forever...I found myself repeating that daily

Glad you are feeling better. I hope this little bean gives it's mama a break for a couple of days.

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October 4th, 2008, 01:41 AM
Posts: n/a
I have to agree with what has been said here, it's the outcome that matters. I know you're grateful for being blessed with another baby but that doesn't mean it's going to be an easy pregnancy or a happy one.

I'm just as grateful but just so darned uncomfortable. It's hard to bend over, it's hard to lift my child, I have the hardest time putting on my shoes and Gabriella loves to kick me where the sun doesn't shine. But I'll take it because I know that she will be here soon, the outcome that we all have dreamed of.

I hope all the ttcal and ttc ladies get pregnant and their dreams come true too but I have a feeling they would have the same normal pregnancy complaints that we have and they will have our support. It's not like you went over to the other boards and posted that you hated being pregnant, you posted it in a forum of pregnant ladies in the same boat. I don't think it was insensitive or wrong, you just opened your heart and you were having a bad week with your headache. Glad you're feeling better by the way.

It's kind of comparable to going on the ttcal board and reading how they hate seeing pregnant women or are tired of seeing pregnant women. Here we have our ttc friends coming here to see how we are doing and they get upset at seeing us complain about being pregnant. Unfortunately, we can't change how they feel about pregnant women and they can't change how we feel about pregnancy and it's discomforts. We all understand how they feel and would hope we get the same understanding here becasue I want them all to feel welcome here just as they want us to feel welcome there. No matter what the complaint is.......We ARE happy and grateful.

Sorry if none of that made any sense, pregnancy brain is bad this week.
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October 4th, 2008, 10:16 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I love all of you. Thank you.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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October 4th, 2008, 10:30 AM
Madison.Hailey.Zack's Avatar Mom of 2 Girls and a Boy!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 11,069
I TOTALY agree with the other girls. We are greatful for the babies that we are carring but of course theres going to discomfortes and why should we not be able to complain about them on a pregnancy board. I would never go over there and complain because i respect them but it should go the same why from them. Every woman is going to have complaints about being pg weather it be that they cant feel their feet anymore or cant bend over anymore but that comes with the whole pg jounrey. As much as I am uncomfortable and cant wait to be done I know I do it all again in a heartbeat. In my opinion if we didnt go through what we go through while pg then the outcome wouldnt be a special. No one should feel that they cant express how their feeling for fear of hurting others. No matter what people say theres always going to be someone who takes it differently then it was mean to be taken but that is their choice. Just know that you can talk about however your feeling here Brittanie and we will never put you down for it. We know how badly want this baby and know that your going to have off days just like the rest of us but that doesnt make you a bad person not at all or we would all be for complaining. We all you here and are here to listen ALWAYS. Lots of hon.

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