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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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January 6th, 2006, 08:37 AM
LeedaRenee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,923
My sister in law just had a baby, who was a little early, had some respiratory problems, but is pretty stable now and in an NICU. We went to visit her and the baby this past weekend. I didn't know I was pregnant yet, at the time. While we were visiting her and she was talking about the baby and there were baby clothes scattered about the room, I felt overwhelming depression. I thought I did a pretty good job of hiding it until my DH said that it was very noticeable that I was upset. That made me feel bad, but I really felt bad when I was told that she cried the day she had to leave the hospital and coudln't take the baby home.

Here I was so wrapped up in my own feelings that I couldnt see that she was in both physical and emotional pain over her whole situation. I am calling her today to apologize. I can't let my own grief get in the way of being there for family who needs support. I hope she can forgive me.
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January 6th, 2006, 09:49 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,287
You're a really good SIL!! I'm sure she understood how hard it was for you, and if nothing else, maybe she just thought your difficulty was seeing the baby go through all of that. Give her a call, it will probably make you feel a lot better.

"Nothing in this world worth having is easy"
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January 6th, 2006, 10:05 AM
Rina42308's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 2,991
I think you atre a very good SIL and friend to be willing to extend yourself in this way...I am positive she will forgive you!!!
Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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January 6th, 2006, 10:51 AM
Posts: n/a
It is amazing that grief can turn us otherwise compassionate, caring people into well, less than that. I completely understand what you were feeling and while she probably doesn't, I'm sure if you talk to her and tell her what you were feeling she will be ok. I'm sure she is very worried about her baby right now. My daughter was early (about a month) and got jaundice and wouldn't feed and had to be readmited to the hospital at 3 days old. I know how worried and upset I felt. It is a different feeling then losing a baby, but equally as distressing.

I hope her little one is doing better.
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January 6th, 2006, 11:40 AM
Blessings B's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,422
She is lucky to have a compassionate , loving SIL in you. Many blessings B
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