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The strangest feeling...

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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January 23rd, 2006, 11:52 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 935
This is so strange of a feeling. I have no living children other than my baby due in 1 month. Until we conceived this one, we'd been TTC for 16 months and lost 2 babies. Well, of course, that entire time (plus all the time you count me "dreaming" before starting TTC and before getting married, even...) I would always daydream about what life would be like with my own baby. I'd picture going to my brothers HS graduation with a baby, going to fiddle week- whether or not I'd have the baby in the stroller or pack it around in the sling, going on vacation during the summer- what the drive would be like with feeding stops, DH being in our friends wedding in March- how I'd sit in the back with the baby the whole time, going to our family reunion in July- if our baby will still be in the infant seat at that point...just things like that.

It's the strangest feeling knowing that this year, I'm not so much "dreaming" about what it'll be like with the baby, but I'm actually planning it! I mean, it's still unreal to me, because it always HAS been a dream. We didn't get pregnant quickly or easily, so there's never been any other option. And those "dreams" have always ended in heartache until now since I lost both babies before. So it's very unreal.

Anyway, I'm just dumbfounded by it all and knew that you ladies would understand.
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January 23rd, 2006, 01:11 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 1,668
Awwwww....congrats to you and your DH! It sounds so wonderful!

I know where you are coming from. This baby I have on the way has been 6-7 years in the making (with 2 prior m/c). I have two other children from a previous marriage but this will be DH's very first.

I used to daydream all the time about having a new little one in the household. It also hurt and was hard not to feel jealous when I had my m/c's as well. The funny thing is...all the heartache and longing that I have felt over the years have amplified my joy that I feel with a new one coming along. Enjoy it, sweetie! You deserve it!

Good luck to you, your family, and especially your soon-to-be little one!

I love my 3 girls and little boy:

Mom to Jessica - 19 yrs old, Amber - 18 yrs old, Sebastian - 2 months
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January 23rd, 2006, 02:34 PM
Blessings B's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,422
What wonderful thoughts and feelings . Thank you for sharing B
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January 23rd, 2006, 07:00 PM
Posts: n/a
Wonderful thoughts!!! I'm so happy for you & your dh!!
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January 24th, 2006, 04:41 AM
LeedaRenee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,923
That almost made me tear up a bit. Congrats on your little bundle.
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January 24th, 2006, 11:05 AM
SpugsLady's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Stoke on Trent UK
Posts: 190
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Yeah, i bet it's great to actually plan than dream good 4 u Good luck
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