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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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February 7th, 2009, 10:01 AM
madmum_sarah's Avatar formally sarah_the_sane_1
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 15,004
how did you feel when the anniversary of your loss arrived? were you pregnant again and if so do you think it made a difference?
10th feb is 1 year since my first loss with marks baby and its hitting me hard. i thought it would be easier with me being pregnant but its not. my friend has been less than sympathetic and even made me feel guilty for thinking of my angels (saying i dont appreciate being preg and my losses mean more to me etc) and it really hurts.
i love all my babies the same, older ones, losses and glow worm and to me that is normal but i guess some people dont understand that i have enough love for all of them.
am i being over sensitive because im pregnant again or are these feelings normal? i just feel so lost and down because of it

Friends are the family you choose yourself and I love my JM sisters!
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February 7th, 2009, 10:58 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I was pregnant with Erin, yes, when Cora's birthday came around. I was 33ish weeks pregnant, and while on one level it made it better (I had something to look forward to) I was SO scared that I'd lose her too and then have two babies to memorialize. Cora's birthday was really hard for me. I was actually fairly bitter that I should have had a one year old and I was still pregnant. I felt that pregnancy would last forever, and I'd never actually get the baby I wanted so badly.

Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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February 7th, 2009, 01:02 PM
Pound's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 3,071
aw, i'm sorry you're taking it hard. everyone deals w/ losses differently. i passed my 1st m/c anniv. in oct and yes i was pg, so i didn't feel too bad, but i did think about it (esp since it happened on halloween). my next one (the really hard one that i had to have a d&c with) is actually my due date! so hopefully i will be too busy either birthing or already having my baby here that i won't dwell on it too much. that's not to say you can't be sad! they were all your babies! now i don't suggest dwelling on it and getting depressed all over, but it's normal to still be sad for the babies you lost.

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February 8th, 2009, 07:37 AM
Posts: n/a
I don't think you're being overy sensitive. As mentioned, we all mourn differntly. I will never forget Morgan but know that many around me don't understand how we feel. I was so happy to be pregnant at the 2 year mark of our loss but it also made me thank God for the gift I was carrying.

Many hugs to you
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February 8th, 2009, 09:57 AM
IAMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 5,318
Sarah - I will be facing what you are facing now in April, and truthfully I don't know how I will handle it. I miss my angels so much, and think about them daily. I don't think it is an easy thing to get through.

I think it is normal to feel lost and down when it comes to the anniversary of a loss though. Really and Truely, I do not think that any person can fathom the feelings that come along with a loss of a pregnancy or child until you have actually been there. There is so little understanding with ppl irl that I think it makes it even harder to recover from a loss like all of ours.

and of course you love all of your babies (living or angels) the same. You are the mother to each one of them.

It might make you feel better to do something special in memory of your angel on Tuesday. Light a candel and think of your little one, or go for a rememberance walk. something small that you can dedicate to you angel.

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February 8th, 2009, 10:59 AM
angelmomjen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1,648
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Im sorry sweety I was arounnd 5 months pregnant with Nathan, when Damion angel day came ...and it was not any easier for me. I was scared all the time, a emotional wreck. I did feel strength in knowing that Damion was there watching over me and Nathan. Im sorry it hurts so bad, and I pray for your peace.

Now..your friend..is wrong. You should never feel guilt about your love..never.
Thanks Nami for my beautiful siggy!
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February 8th, 2009, 12:09 PM
madmum_sarah's Avatar formally sarah_the_sane_1
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 15,004
thank you girls.
im so glad i have someone that understands how i am feeling.
mark tried to talk to me on messenger last night as he knew something was wrong. we ended up in a huge row but he did say just because he doesnt see it the same way doesnt mean he doesnt understand.
i guess it hurts more because he wont be here with me, just like he wasnt when i lost my baby and that just reminds me how alone i actually am.
as long as the schools are open on tuesday im going to go to the place i scattered my best friend jamies ashes (who my baby was named after) and talk to them both before coming home and lighting my candle of courage.
thanks for always being there girls. i do feel slightly guilty as i know i could and will feel more for this baby than i do right now but i guess the fear and grief of losing the twin is still clouding it all.

Friends are the family you choose yourself and I love my JM sisters!
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February 8th, 2009, 10:52 PM
LadyLacy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 818
I'll be 6wks away from edd when the edd for my august angel baby comes. I don't know yet how'll I'll handle it, but, I'm pretty sure I'll be missing s/he that day a lot.

M/C 6wks 4days Jan09 & 4wks 5days Nov 05, 3/25/09dnc[10wks 3d]Jan/24/2010[11wks baby stopped growing at 7+ wks]
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