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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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February 10th, 2009, 09:41 AM
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 152
Hi ladies,

I'm very happy (and terrified) to be joining this board. I got my BFP a week and a half ago, very early (10 DPO), and am 5 weeks today. My last pregnancy ended with a D&C after ultrasound at nine weeks showed an anembryonic pregnancy (empty sac). I'm trying not to be too anxious about this pregnancy but it is really very hard not to worry that the same thing will happen again.

My midwife offered an early ultrasound (at 6 weeks) for my mental health benefit, but I've had to reschedule it and now it looks like it will be pushed back at least another week and maybe two more weeks. I'm almost in tears thinking about having to wait another two or three weeks to see the baby and (hopefully) a heartbeat. Until then, this pregnancy doesn't seem real to me, I just can't quite believe that I will end up with a baby. I feel like this must be a common feeling to experience following a loss. Do any of your ladies have any advice on how to get through this waiting period?

Thanks very much, I'm glad to be here!

Wife to Dan
Mama to Finley (5.10.06) and Claire (10.13.09)

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February 10th, 2009, 10:07 AM
dee68's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Illinois ( originally From New Jersey:)
Posts: 13,040
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Hi Meredeth !
welcome to the board !!

I am very sorry for your loss. It is a devastating experience to go through. All of us here at PAL understand that pain, and the fears that go along with a new pregnancy. Honestly, I think most ladies here will tell you....although it gets easier with each week that passes, that fear is always there.
My best advice to you is to, relax, stay positive and enjoy each day of your pregnancy. And know that all of us are here for you!

Congratulations !!!!!


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February 10th, 2009, 10:46 AM
huckleberry312's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,196
Welcome to the board. I am sorry for your loss. You have come to the right board for support though. Everyone here understands what you are feeling. I don't think the feelings that accompany pregnancy after a loss are ever the same as those without a loss. The fear of something going wrong is always there. It really stinks. The only way to cope is to try and relax and take it a day at a time. The girls here are great and everyone will help you through. Congratulations on your bfp.


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February 10th, 2009, 03:06 PM
kellyanne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,960
Hi Meredith,

I just wanted to welcome you and let you know that this board is a great place to share your anxieties about pregnancy. We've all been there or are there too! Also, I wanted to say that even though it is stressful, a 7 week ultrasound is probably better than a 6 anyway. I know tons of women on here didn't see a heartbeat at 6 weeks....making things even worse. Congratulations on your pregnancy and lots of sticky vibes to you!

3 angels Feb, Mar, Aug of 2008
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February 11th, 2009, 07:33 AM
kalis's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: IL
Posts: 6,523
i agree with the advice about taking it one day at a time. that is what helped me the most and trying to make myself focus on being thankful for each day i got to spend being pregnant with my baby.
also i tried to find things to occupy my time between appointments or waiting for the next u/s. dive into a big fat book or something else that will tie up your thought some.
congratulations on your pregnancy & we all understand how hard the waiting it. we will wait with you!
Thanks to *Kiliki* for my pretty siggy!
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February 11th, 2009, 08:51 AM
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 152
Thank you all so much for your kind words and support, I knew I would find sympathetic ears here!

When I lost my last pregnancy, I was really really busy at work, and very nauseated, and after I lost the baby I felt like I hadn't really taken the time to appreciate things and love the little bean that was growing. I know that it's not true but part of me feels like if I had been able to slow down and appreciate things that the pregnancy would have turned out differently. Now, I am trying to really be conscious of my little bundle and be excited about things, while knowing that if things don't go well it will hurt more.

So I'm just taking one day at a time for now. My ultrasound is in two weeks, I'll be seven weeks by then so should see a little heartbeat, and if I do I think I'll feel a lot better about things!

Thanks for listening
Wife to Dan
Mama to Finley (5.10.06) and Claire (10.13.09)

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February 11th, 2009, 12:23 PM
MamaTTx2's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Northern Pennsylvania
Posts: 529
Welcome Meredith!
First off, congrats on your little bub! I was just like you (almost)-- went in for an u/s at 9 weeks due to some spotting. we saw the baby and I immediately knew that things weren't "right". Then the tech tried to find the hb and there was no hb to find...so horrible. All of us here at PAL understand all of the feelings that you are having right now. Not only do we have the worry about a new pregnancy, we also worry about losing it. Every little anything is something more that we worry about. Please understand that you are completely normal for having these floods of emotion.
I will be completely honest with you and say that I am still worried about losing this baby and I am 31 weeks preggo now. I will worry until I have her in my arms. I will also say (something that not enough people admit to after a lose and getting preggo again) that I didn't really allow myself to accept the baby at first. I don't feel like I bonded as quickly with her as I did with my son during early pregnancy. You will find a way to make it through...some how we always prevail!
I wish you the best of luck and TONS of sticky dust.

Kaylee Rose (born April 13, 2009)
Ethan Lucas (5 yrs. old)
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February 11th, 2009, 01:39 PM
LadyLacy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 818
welcome and congratulations and ditto what e/o else said. I'm taking it one day at a time. some days so far, taking it moment by moment

M/C 6wks 4days Jan09 & 4wks 5days Nov 05, 3/25/09dnc[10wks 3d]Jan/24/2010[11wks baby stopped growing at 7+ wks]
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February 12th, 2009, 10:28 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: California
Posts: 7,567
welcome and CONGRATS!! we are all here for you, in 9 months you will be typing one handed like i am at the moment LOL
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