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Birth control decision......hmmm

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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February 24th, 2009, 11:35 AM
*Bobbie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 15,851
Okay so I finally feel like having sex again. LOL So I have been thinking about BC. I am nursing so I know I probably don't have to think too seriously about BC yet...but....

I am torn between leaving it up to God...or preventing. Part of me NEVER wants to go through childbirth again after what I just went through. The other part thinks if it is meant to be it will.

I am also not sure if I can handle two little ones....but would love Matthew to have someone to grow up with.

UGH Decisions....decisions..... LOL

I am not sure why I am even thinking about all this so soon after delivery. I guess that clock is still ticking for me....

Just reply if ya think I have lost my marbles
Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (23) Amanda (20) Matthew ( 6) and Daniel (4).... RYAN DAVID 1/4/14 8lbs 10oz 20 3/4 inches!!! My miracle happened!
step-mom to: Stephany (24) and Krista (21)
step-grandma to: Wesley, Rosemarie, Scarlett

On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon.
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
On August 2, 2012 we lost Sarah at 17 weeks. Her pictures can be viewed at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarahdarrohn
There is no known explanation for my losses.

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February 24th, 2009, 11:50 AM
madmum_sarah's Avatar formally sarah_the_sane_1
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 15,004
hunny much as i love you i think you lost your marbles a long time ago
however, i dont think you are being silly thinking about this right now. i have a few friends who didnt think of it because they were BF but low and behold, they now are pregnant again or had a baby shortly after.
i love having my kids close in age BUT i know myself i would struggle if they were much closer too.
you will know what is right for you when the time comes but until then to be honest i would look into some sort of protection until you are sure (and have healed a little more emotionally after the birth)


Friends are the family you choose yourself and I love my JM sisters!
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February 24th, 2009, 01:15 PM
kalis's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: IL
Posts: 6,523
it is not to soon to think about it. i am still breastfeeding and have already had 4 periods! i dont know why mine came back so quickly, guess i am lucky like that. i had Mirena put in b/c it is safe while breastfeeding and doesn't cause so much rick of clots and such which is important since i may have a hidden clotting disorder.
i never had been on borth control in my life (it always took me a while to get pregnant and i never wanted to miss a chance to have a baby since i kept having losses), but i knew when i had Thea that i needed to do something just in case. since i am high risk while pregnant, i really would want Thea to be a bit older so i can better take care of her while being on some restrictions. plus the emergency c-section really scared justin and he said very soon after Thea was born that he wouldn't be ready to go through thatn again any time soon.
and i agree that you will know when the time is right, but it might be a good idea to do something now until you are sure.
Thanks to *Kiliki* for my pretty siggy!
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February 24th, 2009, 01:39 PM
*Judy*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: California
Posts: 3,320
Did you have any marbles to begin with Bobbie??? LOL!!! (You know I am just kidding) Sometimes I think we are a little crazy for riding the TTC roller coaster ! I think what ever you decide will be what is right for you. I just hope that you don't judge your entire pregnancy with Matthew based on the delivery. You had a great pregnancy and each pregnancy and delivery is different. GO with what your heart tells you!
Thanks BAM for my amazing siggy
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February 24th, 2009, 01:58 PM
proudmommato4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: new york
Posts: 3,634
First I wanted to say congrats on your new little boy! I don't think it is to soon to be thinking out it. I suffered two losses before getting pregnant with my first. After I had him I let things just happen, and eight months later I was pregnant with my daughter. If you think that you could handle them being very close in age, then go for it! I went on birth control after my daughter, and then came off 1 year later to ry for numer three. I suffered two more losses, I do believe that the birth control had something to do with that. I am planning number four (I know I am crazy!) in about 1 year so we are just useing condoms when I know I am Oing. Good luck with what ever you decide!


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February 24th, 2009, 02:47 PM
Danielley08's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 3,594
Bobbie you definately still have your marbles!

I think deep down you will know what you really want to do when the *time* comes...my opinions on birth control have changed alot since I had my IUD out last year...I have NO idea what I am going to be doing after this baby gets here...but I'm pretty sure we don't have any more children in our future...so I'm kinda in the same boat...

Hopefully you and Dave can sit down and decide together on what your futures hold...rather it be a little sibling for Matthew or letting him be the super spoiled baby of the fam...either way...I stand behind your decision


(Boys' birthdays are backwards...lol)
~Thank you to claire1979 for my siggy~
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February 24th, 2009, 02:48 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Oklahoma City
Posts: 5,660
My sis-in-law got preggo when she was nursing my nephew, so she has 2 little boys 14 months apart. Just so you know..
You will make the right decision. And I'm so impressed you're ready to DTD already. It took me so long to feel up to it, poor DH.
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February 24th, 2009, 03:22 PM
soon to be mommy of four!
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Posts: 3,033
I had a mirena iud after my dd, and had it in for 5 years and loved it!!!

I wasn't ready for sex for a couple of months....my poor hubby!
Anna, high school teacher and mommy to three wonderful kids:
son, age 12
daughter, age 8
son, born Oct. 2, 2009
and expecting baby #4: 10/10/2011!!

one angel baby

Make a pregnancy ticker

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February 24th, 2009, 03:58 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Upstate SC
Posts: 4,443
Try something for a few months. DS#1 was conceived using clomid, and seven months later much to our surprise DS#2 was conceived. Having them 14 months a part has been great. Wait six months before trying.

http://stitchingthroughlife.blogspot.com/ my cross stitch blog, my outlet.
http://chriscrossdesigns.blogspot.com/ my Cross Stitch Designs

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February 24th, 2009, 04:34 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: California
Posts: 7,567
You have definitely lost your marbles woman!!!! who has a sex drive 3 weeks after birth? LOL!!! jk jk, you are so lucky, corbin is 5 months and I still have no sex drive. anyway i dont know, I just use condoms, but neils is getting clipped next month so that will be my form of BC, lol.
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February 24th, 2009, 05:16 PM
angelmomjen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: South Carolina
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I was ready right after..because of the pelvic rest the entire pregnany..I had stiches and pain, so there Was no way..I think it was 5 weeks pp that we dtd, and it was still painful..but worth it I am on the pill for now, and have a consult for and IUD next month. Not sure if I am eligable with all my cervix issues, but we will see...

Your marble are def still there girl..Who doesnt want pleasure after SO much pain?
Thanks Nami for my beautiful siggy!
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February 24th, 2009, 10:09 PM
MountainMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Southern Iowa
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I don't think you've lost your marbles. But then again...I may be a poor judge. I not only had my sex drive back, but had sex 2 DAYS after I had Will. I don't have much advice other than make sure you really research any options you plan on using. If you have any questions, just let me know and I'll try to get answers, but after researching TONS of different methods, I'm a huge fan of NFP.

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my new siggy!

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February 24th, 2009, 11:00 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I don't think that there's anything wrong with preventing for a while, until you heal and get into the swing of things! I think it's more natural to think about prevention right after having a baby, lol.

If condoms are an option, you can get a few and use them until you're ready to make a "bigger" decision, kwim?
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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February 25th, 2009, 01:30 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: none
Posts: 1,133
Okay so I finally feel like having sex again. LOL So I have been thinking about BC. I am nursing so I know I probably don't have to think too seriously about BC yet...but....[/b]

Ok, you have only REALLY lost your marbles if you think just for a minute that breastfeeding will be a small form of birth control and that you wont be likely to get pregnant again while ebf! HA!

I got pregnant with this one when Landon was 10 weeks old. Breastfeeding didnt work for me. So unless you dont mind getting pregnant right away, I would root for other alternatives! I wish I had because this is taking a MAJOR TOLL on my unprepared body. My hair is falling out....and I feel like I am a sleep deprived 60 year old.

Just my humble opinion! LOL!
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