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Will I ever feel safe this pg?

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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February 11th, 2006, 09:39 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,175
I was feeling better this week, but now I'm feeling anxious and scared again. Part of me is thinking this baby is dead and expecting a bad u/s on the 17th. I am less bloated, less nauseated and have less heartburn. The m/c just hurt so much, we waited so long for that pg and were devastated when we found out it was over at 12 weeks. I am scared to be too hopeful-how can I love something that will rip me apart if it ends badly again? I know I need to take one day at a time, but I'm really struggling right now and hope that telling someone how I feel might relieve some of my worry.

Lucky mother to five!

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February 12th, 2006, 05:15 AM
Blessings B's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,422
I think we have all experienced these feelings at one time or another. It is unfortuate that a M/C can change your whole pg experience. This board is for helping each and everyone of us get through these feelings in a friendly and safe environment. Glad you are here. Blesssings B
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February 12th, 2006, 07:50 AM
my_boys_are_my_joy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Bayou state
Posts: 6,431
I know it's hard. I was in so much denial that I didn't even have my pregnancy confirmed until I was 10 weeks--after I had passed the time when I had already m/c my first one. It does get easier with each passing week. Once I made it to where I knew my baby was viable outside the womb, I really calmed down and started to enjoy my pregnancy. Of course, I still get nervous every time I have an ultrasound. (My last one was at 22 weeks.) I can't forget that experience of lying there on that same recliner and looking at that same screen and being told there was no heartbeat. It haunts me every time.

I think the experience of m/c changes you and there's nothing you can do about it. Even now that I've started my 3rd trimester, I fear pre-term labor more than the average first-time mom. Although I am to the point now that I fully expect a healthy baby, I won't be completely at ease until I hear him cry and hold him and make sure he's okay for the first time.

You're stronger than I am because I couldn't even talk about what happened or the fear or the effects on my current pregnancy or read about other's m/c experiences until a couple of weeks ago. I promise it does get easier, but that experience will always be with you. You'll just be more cautious than a lot of people and appreciate what you do have now even more!!!

a huge thank-you to Mom2*Lauryn*Jacob* for my gorgeous siggy!
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February 12th, 2006, 08:15 AM
Posts: n/a
I was having a horrible time the beginning of last week. With the support of the people here and my friends and family - I am over that hump. I am sure I will have more times like that where panic sets in, but once you have experiened what we have - it is hard to let go and not worry.

My m/s symptoms have been better, little less breast discomfort - but we are all different and so will our symptoms. A friend of mine told me "try not to worry until you know for sure you have something to worry about" I don't have anything to worry about - to my knowledge - everything is fine.
The same advice is for you. I also think about what the worry does to me, my dh and the baby - that helps me stop too.

Take a deep breath - sit in a quiet room with soft music playing and try to clear your mind.
I have a few meditation/hypnosis cd's that I use when I am having a "breakdown" - it helps to let it go.

My best to you and everyone else here -
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February 12th, 2006, 08:26 AM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,175
Thank you for the encouragement and support. Last night I had a bawl session with dh and told him what I'm feeling-he's been a bit detached d/t our first loss. He's also scared but less emotional about it than I am-guys, I guess. I'm at 6w4d today, I'm not spotting or cramping, and really have no reason to believe this baby is already dead other than the fear around our last m/c. Tomorrow morning I'll be one day further ahead, and one more the day after that, and we'll see what happens on Friday.
Thank you! I am so glad I found JM this pg-except with dh, where else can you tell 1800 other women your darkest fears during a supposed-to-be-deleriously-happy time?

Lucky mother to five!

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February 12th, 2006, 04:29 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: vermont
Posts: 3,705
i think this is normal, when i found out i was pg in june 2005 a week after we lost the baby i was 4weeks, even though im 23weeks im still scared as heck to lose this little guy
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February 13th, 2006, 05:40 PM
Posts: n/a
I was sooo positive at the beginning of this pregnancy... then by about 6 weeks I was paranoid. I'm starting to get a little bit better, but still worried often. I'm glad you are here in this forum tho!! the ladies here are great to chat with when you are feeling down and scared.
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February 21st, 2006, 11:19 AM
polbilly's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 975
i dont want to sound discouraging but i lost 2 before this baby one to an ectopic one to miscarriage and i have spent the whole pregnancy scared There will be a point when you start to relax and as soon as you start to get comfortable you remember. I can only tell you about how it has been for me i know everyone is different but im being induced 15 days from now and i still get scared if the baby hasnt moved as much a i thought and i convince myself something bad has happened until i feel the baby move again. Its a feeling that only people who have lost children can relate to. Just know that its normal and dont feel bad for feeling that way.

take care

March6, CD1 Gonal F/pregnyl/IUI cd 11, R 21mm L22mm, 12mm
Dec 17, CD1 Fermara/follistim/Pregnyl/IUI
Dec 2, IUI @ 2 follies on Right BFN
Nov 20 cd1, Fermara/follistim/Pregnyl/IUI
Nov 7, 2016 Fermara/IUI #8 2 mature follies left side 4 small BFN
Oct 4, 2016 Clomid/IUI #7 3 follies left side BFN
April 8, IUI #6, Timing off, we shall see
Nov 29, IUI #5, BFP miscarriage
Oct 15, Miscarriage
0ct 12, HCG 5
Oct 11, 2015 BFP
Oct 1, 2015 Natural Cycle IUI #4
June 25, 2015 Ectopic pregnancy
June 8, 16dpo beta 142.9
June 1, 2015 9dpo BFP
May 22, 2015 IUI #3 with clomid
April 30, Miscarriage
april 29, 16 dpo beta 7
april 27, 14 dpo beta 13.5
april 25, 12 dpo beta 8.5
April 24, 11dpiui BFP
april 13, 2014 iui#2 with clomid.
Feb 2014, TTC #3
Madyson Renee born 7-23-2009
Dec 3rd first ultrasound HEARTBEAT and ALL!!!!!
Clomid and IUI cycle #1 BFP Beta 17.63 @ 10dpiui
TTC 18 months Laprascopy 8-19-2008
Jackson James Born 3-8-2006
Miscarriage at 5 weeks 6-13-2005
Ectopic feb 14, 2005

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February 24th, 2006, 10:31 AM
lilmamaw2's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Omaha Nebraska
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i had 3 m/c's before i got my lil boy and i did't think it was really real untill i got to see and hold my son my self i had let my self get my hopes up so many times that i was just tired of hurting so bad from all of the m/c's but when i seen him it was probably one of the best moments in my whole life and now i'm waiting for my lil' girl and this might sound stupid or silly but i still worrie the same and still try not to get my hopes up even though i'm at the end it's just i really cant handle thinking about how much it would hurt if i got so attached and then something went horriably wrong so what your feeling is totally normal
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