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just a little vent...i apologize in advance

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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April 16th, 2009, 09:37 AM
klt klt is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,233
I logged onto a website I haven't visited in a while. It brought me to "my pregnancy" page. It said, "You are now 35 weeks..." I realized that I had not been on the site since my m/c. I was amazed that I'd be soooo close to delivering a little one right now, and instead, I'm still freaking out because I'm afraid of not getting a h/b at the next appointment, I'm terrified because I can't feel the baby move (I know it's early, but I felt it with my last three by now...I think), and I can't get excited. Then, to top it off, I keep having these horrible m/c dreams. Last night I had a dream that I delivered my little one in the bathroom and then I delivered my angel...I just sat there holding them and crying.

I'm going nuts. I have no reason to think anything is wrong, but, it just won't leave my head. Please tell me it gets better. This was so much easier before having a loss. I wouldn't wish a loss on anyone!!! (I know...none of us would) Sorry I'm such a downer. It's just so hard to try to stay positive all day, and take all of your advice, only to have such horrible dreams or unexpected reminders.

Thanks for listening... I really hope my little one is OK in there.
Kelty---Mom of 4 boys!

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April 16th, 2009, 11:04 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Upstate SC
Posts: 4,443
What you are feeling is normal, I wish it wasn't so.
We should be delivering not being just in the beginning of the second trimester.

http://stitchingthroughlife.blogspot.com/ my cross stitch blog, my outlet.
http://chriscrossdesigns.blogspot.com/ my Cross Stitch Designs

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April 16th, 2009, 04:25 PM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,810
HUGS Kelty...i know this is sooo tough for you right now and i wish i could give you that little window so you could check on the LO and know everything with him/her is going great. You have to take some comfort in the fact that everything HAS been going great, and soon you'll start to feel him/her moving....i'm hoping that will help remove some of the fear you have and give you the reassurance that the LO is ok. You know you can lean on us whenever you need to - we totally understand what you're going through! HUGS

Savannah Stylin!

Remembered Forever with Love
10/13/2008 (@9w2d) 10/18/2011 (@8w5d) 2/12/2012 (@4w3d) 8/13/2012 (@10w3d)
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April 16th, 2009, 06:49 PM
Melanie0507's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,593
It definitely gets easier once you feel nice, regular movements. I still remember the first appt that I went to that I wasn't completely scared that I was going to get bad news--simply because I had been feeling him moving and I knew everything was fine.

PAL is so difficult, but do your best to just take it day by day. I am sure you will be feeling good movements soon!
Melanie (&Thad)
Proud Parents to:
Branden 10/28/1997
Owen 5/17/09 (Born with Hirschsprung's Disease)
And expecting our newest addition 5/7/12

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April 20th, 2009, 02:31 PM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 10,074

It does get easier but I'll be honest the fear never goes away. Once you start feeling the baby move you will feel better. Take one day at the time and always stay positive.
By the way, I also had those drink, they will go away I promise.

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April 21st, 2009, 12:26 AM
ang.ie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: North of Spokane Washington
Posts: 1,018
I am also still getting my "weekly" updates... they now are your baby is x weeks old.

i never read them and can't get on to figure out how to stop them!

I have dreams like yours and stress all the time. I try to be positive but it is just sooo hard. I know how you feel you are not alone! I wish you and your baby have a happy healthy pregnancy!
1ST U/S -4/20

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April 21st, 2009, 09:15 AM
princesskate's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: huddersfield, west yorkshire
Posts: 22,139

My first weight loss goal is to lose 21lbs, which is 10% of my body weight
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April 21st, 2009, 09:06 PM
klt klt is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,233
Thanks everybody...I really appreciate everyone here. It's so nice to have people who understand. And, it's so nice to be able to vent. I can't really do it with anyone else...just here. Thanks again.
Kelty---Mom of 4 boys!

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