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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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May 17th, 2009, 09:40 AM
Gayle's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Lower Alabama
Posts: 447
I've seen this baby on ultrasound 6 times already. Everytime we have seen it the baby is jumping all over the place and busy busy busy. However, I dont "feel" pregnant. I've got the baby bump, boobs still hurt, eating all the time, peeing all the time still but I just dont feel like I am still. I'm not sure if its because of losing Makayla so late that maybe I'm trying to keep myself detacted or what. Did you ever feel that way after your loss?

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May 17th, 2009, 10:31 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 696
I totally know how you feel. I think anyone who has suffered a loss at any point, struggles to not become attached to the baby they are carrying because we know how hard it is in the event we have to say goodbye. It's hard to believe any of our babies will make it here until we have them in our arms. I feel that way everyday with this pregnancy. In fact, I was just coming on here to post how worried I am, because honestly, I have seen this baby 3 times already on ultrasound and I sit here today thinking that when I go in the upcoming Thursday, he won't be alive. It is a challenge everyday. We're all trying to protect ourselves from being hurt as much as possible. I figure it's to be expected, given what we've gone through. So, it's all about the little milestones. Know that you are not alone in how you feel though. I know I for one, am going through the same exact feelings.
*A HUGE thank you to Maitri for my beautiful siggy!
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May 17th, 2009, 10:56 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Tyler, Texas
Posts: 2,404
I know exactly what you are feeling. I haven't seen the baby yet but I'm scared to death that it is over before it's even begun. I keep getting told that this is normal but It feels so abnormal. I pray that your little bean will keep on trucking along.
Mom to my two miracle girls.

May 2010- Kennedi

Oct 2012-Everly

4 angel babies watching over us.

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May 17th, 2009, 11:26 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: MA
Posts: 15,169
I'm definitely scared and don't feel pregnant either. I *think* that after 10 weeks (my latest loss), I will feel much more comfortable, so I can see why you still might be worried. I hope you start to feel better soon!

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May 20th, 2009, 12:25 PM
klt klt is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,233
As you can see, it's totally normal to feel that way. When we lost our angel, I had JUST convinced myself to stop worrying and WHAM! I was devastated. I'm just starting to let myself feel better about this PG. So many women have given such great advice on this board. My favorite is to take it one day at a time and set small milestones for yourself to get through each week. And celebrate the milestones. For example, I set little milestones in the first trimester:
5-6 wks - first appt
6-8 wks - morning sickness started ( I know...not something to typically celebrate, but, I was excited because I hadn't had any with my angel)
8 wks - appt with u/s and a h/b!
10 wks - double digits ( like i said, celebrate the small milestones)
10.5 wks - made it past the time I m/c'd
12 wks - NT scan
12.5 wks - told the boys

I hope it helps. Now that I can feel the baby move, I feel much better, but, I still worry. I think we all know it just goes with the territory when we're PAL. I hope you're feeling better.
Kelty---Mom of 4 boys!

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May 20th, 2009, 12:31 PM
Gayle's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Lower Alabama
Posts: 447
Thanks everyone! We are trying the one day at a time. I had an appointment today and heard the heartbeat. Always makes me feel better.

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May 20th, 2009, 06:39 PM
Jenn1320's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,297
Very true-- it is all about the milestones. Today was my biggie. I passed the day that I learned about our missed m/c (yesterday) and today's appt. just went fantastic. I am really happy right now and wish I could say I'm no longer worried. Of course I still will...

Thank you Vicki for an beautiful siggy!

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May 20th, 2009, 08:57 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I struggled with that a lot with Erin. It was hard...but then I realized that even if I lost her I'd be just as hurt as if I had let myself get attached, but I'd feel guilty for not enjoying her when I had her, kwim? It's just a whole mess of emotions, and it felt so surreal to me most of my pregnancy with her.

Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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