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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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February 23rd, 2006, 11:08 AM
thirdtimesacharm's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 458
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I m/c in December. We are actively TTC again now ( in that dreaded 2ww now) and I was wondering....this will sound strange I think....

Did you find yourself comparing the pg you lost with the one you are in now? I guess what I mean is that I find myself saying oh that happened last time and then I worry that if I am pg that it (m/c) will happen again! How do you not so much move on but actually deal with a new pg? Do you constantly worry? Does it get easier?

Forgive me if this sounds akward! It sounded better in my head.....

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February 23rd, 2006, 11:23 AM
JCat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,665
I lost my first pg at 11.5 weeks. At first I was constantly comparing the two. For me it's gotten easier because I've been able to feel her move for a while but I still worry. Poor baby...I've been known to poke or drink something cold or sugary to make her move. I've even resorted to shaking her. I think it's only natural to worry about the following pg after a m/c. Good luck

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February 23rd, 2006, 12:56 PM
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Virgina Beach, VA but I belong in CA!
Posts: 256
When I had my 2nd m/c, I compared that pg to the only successful one I'd had- my DD. It was NOTHING like it and I felt like something was wrong. This pg, I also compare it to my pg with DD and they are different, but similar. Neither pg that I m/c'd was like my pg with DD, so I guess that pg is my 'benchmark', since I made it to the end and got a healthy baby out of it.
<span style="color:#009900">~i~ 7/02, ~i~ 7/05

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February 23rd, 2006, 03:00 PM
Posts: n/a
I constantly worry, but am realizing it is all out of my hands. Either this baby will make it or won't.

As for comparing pregnancies, yes I do that. This pregnancy has been remarkedly easier. Hope that means this one is a keeper.
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February 24th, 2006, 11:38 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 1,668
I do it all the time though I don't mean to.

It was especially hard before I was 16 weeks, which was when I miscarried the last time. As I get further along in my pregnancy, I have learned not to compare so much since it was really making me worried and crazy.

I always want to compare my last two pregnancies (with my dd's) but that was so long ago....16-18 yrs. I feel bad when I do sometimes because I know this is dh's first but I just can't help myself. He's been good about it and listens well, but I feel guilty because I know that this one being his first, it's very special to him and uncomparable to any other.

I love my 3 girls and little boy:

Mom to Jessica - 19 yrs old, Amber - 18 yrs old, Sebastian - 2 months
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February 24th, 2006, 01:36 PM
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I still do it too even tho I'm getting better. I think that's a pretty normal reaction after a loss.
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February 24th, 2006, 06:05 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
I am not far enough yet to compare I don't think - but maybe I still do....

I don't feel teh same, but I felt different the other 2 times too. I guess because I haven't had a full term pg - I look for the differences, hoping that it's meaningful & this won't be the same.
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
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