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Just when you think you're "over" it

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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February 28th, 2006, 06:56 AM
LeedaRenee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,923
I woke up this morning and for some reason all I could think about was the my last baby. And not in the good way I normally remember it, but I felt like I'd just lost it again. I have been doing so well, and this morning it was all I could do not to start sobbing uncontrollably. I cried silently and got up and cried some more. I know you're never "over" it completly, but I just hate feeling like this again.
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February 28th, 2006, 08:23 AM
Blessings B's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,422
Good Morning Renee, I hope you are feeling better. It is so weird how this stuff creeps up on you. I really have to keep my "stinking thinking" in check, because it can ruin my day. Good for you that you are able to recognize these feelings and act upon the sadness. Blessings B
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February 28th, 2006, 09:22 AM
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Utah
Posts: 258
Send a message via Yahoo to kpokorny
Oh goodness.... if you only knew how many "Charlie days" I have. You need to allow yourself to have them and stay away from anyone that doesn't allow you that space and crying time. I have a wonderful dr. and I will call and tell them I just need to know this one is okay... they are so sweet, they get me in asap.. then I feel better for a bit. You need to think of it as a tribute to the baby you lost that you are still thinking about them. What kind of mommy wouldn't keep them in their hearts forever?
Hope you feel better soon, but allow yourself to have your feelings.
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1st Loss~08/14/00-No EDD
03/10/92-My beautiful daughter Kalina's Birthday!
05/12/94-My beautiful daughter Sierra's Birthday!
2nd Loss at 28 weeks~09/12/05 (Charlie's angel day - Trisomy 18)
3rd Loss at 15 weeks~03/04/06-EDD 08/23/06
4th Loss at 9 1/2 weeks~09/12/06-EDD 04/08/07
5th Loss at 9 1/2 weeks~girl 01/14/08-EDD 07/23/08
6th Loss at 19 weeks~10/04/08 (Joey's angel Day - Cord accident)</div>

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February 28th, 2006, 04:04 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
I agree with all that has been said. I know it's "weird" but lately I feel a bit at peace about my mc in March...but my mc in August is still very tender for me. This may change...I may be hurting over the one in March as I approach the anniversary date of my loss, but for now, I worry more about passing my EDD in April. It's hard & I pray that I don't mc again all the time, btu especially when I think about how it was to pass my 1st EDD when I was then realing from another mc on top of it. UGH - I don't think you're ever over it, but I think it may be possible to someday be at peace with it - at least I hope so.
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet

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February 28th, 2006, 06:30 PM
LeedaRenee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,923
I was due in April too. I think that's a big part of it, knowing that I would be so close to having my baby right now. It makes me feel guilty too, like this baby can feel me thinking about the other. I'm feeling a little better, but still kind of depressed. Hubby is grilling me some steaks tonight to cheer me up. Thanks for the support ladies,.
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February 28th, 2006, 09:11 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,175
I would have also been due in April, and I've been struggling a little-keeping tabs on where I would be now had I not lost the first pg. I am feeling a little more relaxed since I've made it further than the last one, but I know I'll never forget the baby we lost, and know April 30th will be tough.

Lucky mother to five!

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March 1st, 2006, 06:36 AM
**Jenn**'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: NJ
Posts: 11,433
Just popping in if you don't mind but I can relate to what you are saying. I lost my first pregnancy 3 years ago this January and I still get waves of sadness/depression that that baby isn't here with me. I gave birth to my son December 30th which was just 4 days before the 3 year anniversary of my m/c. Now that I have Liam here it has actually made me more sad about losing the first--finally knowing all that I missed the first time around, how he should have had a big brother/sister, and just basically the joy I should have had but didn't. In a way it makes me cherish every last second I have with Liam, especially since I was such a nervous wreck a lot of my pregnancy (my mil kept questioning me how do I really know the baby is ok and the cord isn't wrapped around his neck suffocating him--and she knew about my previos m/c--not the most encouraging of thoughts when you're already a mess). I'm getting better and more able to accept the way things are but it has been a long road. Because my fiance and I are not yet married (May 20th! ) I still have family that has done nothing but badmouth me, my fiance, and my pregnancy and now son. I figure if they can't be happy and supportive then I don't want them in my life. I guess its normal to always be sad and my little angel will always have a special place in my heart as I know yours will always have a special place in yours--no matter how many children we have. Good luck with everyones new little ones to come!
Our angel baby forever missed--1/3/03

Ailish Laura born October 20th, 2012.
8lbs 12oz and 20.75 inches

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March 2nd, 2006, 01:25 AM
Kaz's Avatar
Kaz Kaz is offline
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: PA
Posts: 627
I agree...I don't know if you ever fully get over it. I still had times when it would sneak up on me for no reason, even before this pregnancy. And my first was over 8 years ago. All I can say is when you feel this way, don't try to supress it, just deal with the emotions and let it out. I would try to not deal with the feelings, just keep them bottled up. I would then have recurring nightmares about the losses. Just feel what you need to feel and if you ever need to talk...we are here for you!
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March 2nd, 2006, 09:39 AM
Posts: n/a
I do the same thing and will have an incredibly sad day... It's hard sometimes.
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