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Anyone Else Paranoid this time

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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June 16th, 2009, 09:59 AM
tatanickel81's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: currently: North Carolina
Posts: 438
Hi everyone. I've posted here before but it's been a really long time.... I was just wondering if anyone else is really paranoid this time around. Every pain and cramp has me scared stiff. I'm out of my first trimester and so glad I made it this far (17 weeks), but my loss was at 14 weeks, so while I feel a little better, I'm still terrified. I agonize that something went wrong and can't wait to see the doctor again. Then when they go to find the heartbeat I am so afraid there won't be one. Twice they had to get the really old grainy ultra sound to see it cuz they coudn't hear it, and both times I was just beside myself. I think I can feel the baby moving at times, but I'm still so worried that next time there won't be a heartbeat. I think about it all the time and I get so afraid everytime i do something wrong. Like having a cup of coffee one morning to missing a dose of my vitamin. Oh, no I forgot and ordered soda with my dinner. I'm afraid that I'm going to do something to hurt the baby. And I feel okay for a few days after my doctor appointment, but then I get scared all over again. Every month I just agonize over my next appointment. and the entire time I'm in the waiting room I'm terrified that this time there will be a problem. I know it's not healthy, but I don't know how to stop... Any suggestions?
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June 16th, 2009, 10:59 AM
madmum_sarah's Avatar formally sarah_the_sane_1
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 15,004

first thing you need to remember is that no one has no slip ups when pregnant! just think of all the things women did while pregnant before they "discovered" these things were "bad". i mean seriously, do you think people never smoked, drank, had coffee while pregnant?
yes i totally understand people being more cautious but realistically the chances of a little treat once in a while causing a loss is just extra pressure being added where it really isnt needed (but hey, thats just my opinion after 5 kids and trying to do everything "right" )
that fear im sorry to say is not one that will go away overnight. i see a midwife every week now and although i can feel this baby move all the time, normally on a midwife day s/he decides to sleep until my appointment and i worry she wont find a heartbeat even though my baby was kicking me all night the night before.
have you thought of buying a doppler or hiring one? i found it a great help before i could feel baby moving all the time but then you do have a risk of more panic if baby in a position where you cant find it.
i hope the fear eases soon hun

Friends are the family you choose yourself and I love my JM sisters!
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June 16th, 2009, 11:05 AM
mom 2 haley & tyler's Avatar formerly mommy2haley17
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: TX
Posts: 8,212
I'm sorry to say that I don't think the fear ever goes away. I was still scared stiff the day I had my c-section thinking something would be wrong. Thankfully all is well and I'm now holding my beautiful baby boy. Try to take it easy and we are here to support your ups and downs.

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June 16th, 2009, 11:10 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 10,074
I agree that the fear for me never went away, like you every doctor's appointment I was terrified that she wouldn't find the h/b. Once I started feeling him move, I started feeling a bit better, but them went I could feel him move I would freak out. You have to take it one day at the time, i know it's easier said than done, but enjoy your little one each day.

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June 16th, 2009, 11:30 AM
~Angela~'s Avatar Mommy to 3
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 5,518
I completely know how you feel. I'm having the same issues as you. I hope things get easier for you!
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June 16th, 2009, 01:00 PM
*Bobbie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 15,851
For me the fear never went away either. I did rent a doppler from babybeat and it saved my sanity. All you can do is think positive. I knew if I was going to lose him I was going to lose him there would be nothing I could do to change it...so I tried my best to enjoy being pregnant and thinking about the future. It helped sometimes. Other times a good cry had me feeling better. Just to release all those emotions every now and then helped clear my head of the fear.

Now that he is here I still live in fear that something will happen to him. I think it's just normal when you love someone soooo much to be scared to have to live without them.

Chin up and think positive
Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (23) Amanda (20) Matthew ( 6) and Daniel (4).... RYAN DAVID 1/4/14 8lbs 10oz 20 3/4 inches!!! My miracle happened!
step-mom to: Stephany (24) and Krista (21)
step-grandma to: Wesley, Rosemarie, Scarlett

On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon.
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
On August 2, 2012 we lost Sarah at 17 weeks. Her pictures can be viewed at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarahdarrohn
There is no known explanation for my losses.

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June 16th, 2009, 01:06 PM
klt klt is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,233
You are not alone! What you described was exactly what I was feeling. Now that I feel baby move, I'm doing much better. I don't have any advice except that it's been awesome to be able to vent to the PAL mommies. They always have the right thing to say in order to make me feel better and less concerned. I hope things get better soon. Are you feeling the baby move yet? (It still could be early) Keep us updated.
Kelty---Mom of 4 boys!

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June 16th, 2009, 05:01 PM
tatanickel81's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: currently: North Carolina
Posts: 438
Thanks for the advice! I feel a little better knowing that I'm not alone! And I am starting to feel the little one moving a bit... Luckily this isn't my first, so I think I feel it way sooner than with my DD. But it's still only flutters and not all the time... I'll be happy when i can feel the kicks and share them with DH. Thanks again, I'm trying to hang in there. I'm almost half way now, so we'll see how it goes!
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