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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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July 1st, 2009, 08:17 PM
megal40's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,853
wanting to keep things "normal?"

I am about 5 weeks pregnant. Just a quick background: m/c #1--(2/28/06) stopped growing @7 wk D&C @ 12 wk. DD born 12/19/06. mc #2-- (3/17/09) stopped growing @ 9 wk D&C @ 12 wk.

With my third pregnancy we had an ultrasound @ 7 weeks and saw everything was great, heartbeat, good size, etc. Now that I am pg again I have decided that I don't want to get my hopes up. I just want to get to the 12 week mark before I get an ultrasound.

Is it okay that I don't want to go through all the blood tests, ultrasounds, etc.? I know a lot of people feel more control over things if they are "doing" something but I just don't want to turn things upside down.

Thanks for the advise and just for letting me vent.

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July 1st, 2009, 08:46 PM
szczepanski's Avatar nakmaster
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Western NY
Posts: 8,399
Well you know I understand!!! I wrestled a lot to figure out what I wanted to do for this PG and decided to just go with the ultrasound.

I am amazed that you are able to just let things to naturally and see what happens. I wish I had that kind of courage instead of feeling the need to go poking around in there to see what is going on.

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July 1st, 2009, 09:19 PM
klt klt is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,233
You have to be comfortable with everything going on in your PG. And, if that means you want to forego all of the tests, that's up to you. Obviously, if your doctor sees the need to do these things, I think you should seriously talk to your doc before making a decision. But, I understand how you feel. I didn't want any of the blood tests this time until a little later. Worrying about hcg, betas, etc... was so stressful last time. I DID opt for the u/s. And, I felt better each time the doc said everything was going well.

You're not crazy. And, I hope things continue to go well. Talk to your doc/caregiver and find out what's necessary. KUP!
Kelty---Mom of 4 boys!

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July 2nd, 2009, 04:41 AM
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 51
for me I decided to opt out of all the blood test dr. offered me, but I did ask for an early ultrasound just for my piece of mind. I can't take not knowing for that long. It is your choice completely and honestly a week ago I was where you are at now I was going to even wait to go to the dr until I was like 10 or 11 weeks. which is when I found out we had lost the last one, but the stress was to much for me.
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July 2nd, 2009, 05:59 AM
megal40's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,853
Thanks ladies. Of course what my doctor says I need, I will get. But if it isn't necessary, I think I will wait. After seeing a h/b at 7 weeks and then experiencing a loss at 9 was too much of an emotional rollercoaster. We will see....

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July 2nd, 2009, 06:44 AM
PixieQueen's Avatar Hi-Tech Hippie
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Richland, WA
Posts: 6,038
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I was the same way. I called my midwife fairly early just to make sure she could take me, but I didn't have my first official appt until I was 11 1/2 wks. If I was going to m/c, there wasn't anything we could do to stop it, so I figured what was the point in stressing? Of course, I have never had more than basic blood work anyway, no beta or progesterone draws or anything like that, and I only get the growth scan at 20ish wks, so I guess my expectations are lower anyway.

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July 2nd, 2009, 07:25 AM
Sabina's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,657
I am doing the same thing this time. I had two m/c's and a ton of u/s and bloodwork with my third pg. I had appt's every week and I think at the time I needed it. For this pg I have had no blood work done and only one u/s and that is all I will have until the NT ultra sound. For me this time I think I needed the break from all the stress of appt's and tests. I feel so much calmer then I have ever felt during any other 1st trimester. If this is what you need to stay calm and get through the first trimester then go for it. Everyone is different and every pg is different. It's up to you and what you need at the time.

BTW - Good luck!
Thank you Jaidynsmum for the beautiful siggy
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July 2nd, 2009, 07:45 AM
DoulaMama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,159
I have lost four babies, and although blood testing was important to me we didn't do an U/S at all, and we didn't try with the doppler till almost 11 weeks, and it was so stress relieving for me.

I think it is a good idea, and it really helped me not to stress.
Cheryl, mama to Noah Paul born 12/26/09, wife to wonderful hubby Rob
I am proudly a homebirthing, excluively breastfeeding from the tap, constantly babywearing, bed sharing, attached mama to a high needs baby. He is a part time diaper-free baby!

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July 2nd, 2009, 09:04 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunny California
Posts: 10,074
I think that you need whatever makes you feel comfortable. I had the blood test where they take half of your blood out , but I never found out the betas, I never had to worry about numbers. I did have an early u/s at 6.5w. You need to do whatever you feel it's right.

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July 2nd, 2009, 11:48 AM
justjaQ's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sterling Heights, MI
Posts: 19,640
personally, i wait until i'm about halfway, before seeing a doctor. i think the blood tests and whatnot are unnecessary (for me, at least) and that there's no point in going in and letting an OB make ridiculous money for doing basically nothing.
my husband was okay with it, but my new boyfriend won't be, and i'm irked at the thought of having to go in to see a midwife/doctor each month, for the next 7. if there's a problem with the baby, they can't fix it; they aren't miracle workers. so, i wouldn't blame you for not wanting to go in until you're ready, or have tests that can't change any outcome. hugs to you, and best wishes in whatever you choose!
msjaQ- 28, pantheist AP detroit mama to:
timothy michael, august 31, 2003, 12:02pm, 8 lb. 4 oz., 21"- 38 wks.
melissa may, april 7, 2006, 1:31pm, 7 lb. 10.5 oz., 19.5"- 36.5 wks
nicholas michael, january 31, 2010, 5:12pm, 5 lb. 11 oz., 18.25"- 37.1 wks
damon michael, january 21, 2012, 1:31am, 6 lb. 14 oz., 20", 38 wks
rainbow baby left me at 6-1/2 weeks on 09.08.12~ never forgotten, sweet child

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