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Getting over the buying-for-baby hump

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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March 9th, 2010, 01:03 AM
Magicaledelishus's Avatar Mommy to Orion
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Seattle
Posts: 1,932
Hi ladies..

I don't have anything for this baby.
I'm going on 19 weeks now.

My last pregnancy I bought a t-shirt I found for the baby, and I lost that baby so I was feeling really jaded on the shopping aspect.
We only have what we have been given as hand-me-downs and things like that. I have a small stack of diapers I got for free.
But nothing else.
My husband wants to go shopping and use our gift cards for Target to buy something for our baby. I am SO nervous. I feel like, in the back of my head, that we're going to have to take it all back.

Did anyone else really struggle with this part?
I want to just get over that hump and get past it and start buying stuff already, but it really scares me! I have a bad taste in my mouth from the last time, and so it's.... so hard.

DH is really positive about it; wants to buy things and get prepared for her/his arrival soon. He was really scared/reserved for such a long time and then at about 15 weeks or so he just stopped being afraid. I wish I could feel the same way.

Anyway, ending my rant.
Any advice on how to excited???
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March 9th, 2010, 06:27 AM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 6,834
I wish I had some advice for you but I really don't. I'm sorry

You still have a couple of weeks before you really need to start. Why not try starting small, like just a bottle or even just a pacifier? Maybe that will help?

Good luck though.

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March 9th, 2010, 07:01 AM
*Bobbie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 15,851
It hard...but once you start buying it gets a lot easier. Once you have your gender scan it may be a little easier Start small it should be a little easier that way.

Good luck Buying for baby is one of the true joys of pregnancy. Once you start you won't be able to stop
Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (23) Amanda (20) Matthew ( 6) and Daniel (4).... RYAN DAVID 1/4/14 8lbs 10oz 20 3/4 inches!!! My miracle happened!
step-mom to: Stephany (24) and Krista (21)
step-grandma to: Wesley, Rosemarie, Scarlett

On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon.
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
On August 2, 2012 we lost Sarah at 17 weeks. Her pictures can be viewed at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarahdarrohn
There is no known explanation for my losses.

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March 9th, 2010, 09:16 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 1,571
I responded to you in the DDC, but I just wanted to say it again here - I know exactly what you mean, and I think the best advice that helped me is just to buy a small thing to reinforce a positive appointment or event, and as a symbol of hope. That way I'm not collecting too much too fast, but I'm able to start the process without being overwhelmed. So far, it's working to help with my anxiety. HUGS! I hope shopping turns out to be a positive and happy event for you.
Blog on RPL and TTC
Dx Hetero Prothrombin and Factor V
*Forever missing our three butterfly angel babies*
~December 08~ ~May 09~ ~September 09~
Proudly breastfeeding, pumping, and cloth diapering my little sweet pea!

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March 9th, 2010, 11:51 AM
~*Kixs*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Texas
Posts: 12,914
I was like this when I was pg with my DS. I did not buy anything for him until I was 25+ weeks even though I had a gender u/s at 18w.

The only reason I ended up buying him something was b/c my DD started crying one day b/c she was afriad her baby brother would have to come home from the hospital naked

I think once you have your gender u/s and know that your son or daughter is growing well you will feel better. It is one of those milestone after PAL that makes everything feel more real...KWIM.

Just wait a couple more days and then right after the u/s go out and buy him or her a coming home outfit to celebrate. And soon enough you will find that everytime you go to the store you see something that you just HAVE to buy!

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March 9th, 2010, 12:03 PM
dee68's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Illinois ( originally From New Jersey:)
Posts: 13,040
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what I did to get excited before I actually shopped was start picking out things online at different stores in my registry. It helped me so much ...it was fun....and you dont have to know what you are having to do it....there are plenty of gender neutral things out there and you can always change what you want at any time.
It is a fun way to "shop" until you are really ready to buy kwim?

I started buying at 20 weeks......after that, and to this day it is non stop !
Enjoy it ! preparing for your baby should not be scary....PAL is not easy, but you do need to let yourself enjoy it

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March 9th, 2010, 12:05 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,618
I think it's something that a lot of us go through... with Gaby, I started buying things right from the day I found out - but this one, to be honest, I didn't buy anything until I was around 18 weeks... I just... couldn't... Even now I have a hard time, and I actually need to REALLY start looking for things, because I have stuff all newborn clothes.....

Don't be too hard on yourself, its very normal.

Perhaps once youv'e found out the babies sex, you will feel a bit better about things

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March 9th, 2010, 03:18 PM
Magicaledelishus's Avatar Mommy to Orion
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Seattle
Posts: 1,932
Thanks you guys.
We did do some shopping; just the basics and things that were really good prices. Got a stock of diapers, some socks... really simple stuff. It went alright. We're gonna go shopping the day of the ultrasound to celebrate the gender.
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