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Family Dinner (Big angry rant) Am I in the wrong?

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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April 11th, 2010, 10:02 PM
GeekMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,294
So today, Sunday, my bf's family had a dinner in celebration that his little brother moved up here from Florida. So naturally they invited me.

So I worked last night (Saturday til 10pm) and I was exhausted to begin with. Jeremy calls me at work and lets me know that his little brother is coming for the night, and he was going to pick me up from work. He takes us to Ingles (A super market) and buys us some groceries, and now is angry cause I didn't say thank you (Which I did). I'm sorry? I don't like it when people forcibly spend money on us even though we said no. I told him thank you at the store.

Now, onto my rant. His little brother kept me up til 4am then tried to get us to leave at 7am to go start with dinner. Knowing that I don't sleep at all at night. So they let me sleep til 8 and we left. All day I sat on his grandmother couch and talked to her and read a baby magazine. I was exhausted. I haven't really slept in a week, plus it was a busy long night at work last night. So I was not in a great mood but, I sucked it up and smiled and was social.

Once we ate everyone started sitting around and I was falling asleep on the couch and they were just talking and talking and talking. I pulled Jeremy aside and told him I "needed" to go to sleep, and he kept telling me to go nap on his mom's bed. I'm sorry I am not going to take a nap in someone else's bed. That is creepy. So I wait 3 hours. They sit and talk and talk and talk. I am so tired I am crying about it and getting very very angry.

What aggravates me is once we got home Jeremy said I offended his family! I was like ***? Your family got a pregnant girl out of bed after 3 hours of sleep and wanted her to come hang out at 7 am to make dinner! Who does that?

Now I understand that family is family and he needs to be with them, but how am I rude for wanting to go home (we don't have a car btw, we had to rely on them) His family is so excited for the baby but, yet they wont see that someone is in pain form not sleeping while she is pregnant and do something about it?

NO one ever said anything, and I understand that I am being whiny, but honestly I think its bullcrap that anyone gets mad at me when I was stranded in new place with new people and beyond exhausted and actually in physical pain over it, and they are going to get mad at me?

I do understand how I may have come off, but everyone just sat around and played it off as
shes just pregnant and kept offering me more and more food til I almost threw up.

Anyone else see how screwed up this is?

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April 11th, 2010, 11:07 PM
Kary♥RN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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HUGS... I work nights.. 13- 13 1/2 hours shifs depending on the night... and I know how tired I am.... on my days off... let alone working till 10pm.. than being kept up... I can totally understand your complaint... If you have never stayed up (or been kept up all night pregnant)... you just can't understand... And yes you hurt physically at the point of exhaustion.. HUGS... Sorry people can't understand what you are going through.. HUGS

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April 12th, 2010, 08:48 AM
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Sounds like you really tried to go out of your way to accommodate and they were just being selfish and not understanding where you were coming from. I'm sorry.
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April 12th, 2010, 08:57 AM
GeekMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I did try to be social. I couldn't really help out much, even though I offered. As I said I just sat and talked to his grandmother and read a baby mag.

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April 12th, 2010, 09:36 AM
Trish36's Avatar Mom of 4
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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I'm sorry your bf is giving you a hard time. You'd think that his mother would have been more understanding. Being pregnant is no walk on the beach.

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April 12th, 2010, 11:46 AM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,810
ugh i'm sorry too! I remember how awful the exhaustion was in 1st tri & beginning of 2nd tri....there were days where even if I did get a full nights rest I could fall asleep in the middle of the day. I definitey think people forget you're pregnant at the beginning....by the end everyone will bug the heck out of you constantly asking you if you need a nap b/c you're so obviously, hugely pregnant and ironically you won't be anywhere near as tired as you are at this stage.

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April 12th, 2010, 10:13 PM
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 47
so - for what it's worth - a lot of people can't fathom you are pregnant until you "look" pregnant. So basically it takes them 7 months. So it's like everyone "knows" you are but they completely rationalize it away. Either with "we've all been there" or "Oh, too bad. Are you sick?" I totally see your side!

On some level, in hindsight., Jeremy and his brother should have allowed you to stay home. Yes, everyone would have thought you were being a princess but better a princess then a beyatch. But the BIGGER point is, you were sick, you didn't feel good - and you didnt behave as perfectly as YOU - and they - would have liked. Well, so what. Honestly. Who's perfect when they are sick? YOu worked ALL Night, you were tired, cranky, dismissed and asked to take a nap on someone elses bed (I second the "eww factor" on that, thanks very much.) BUT! Here's what I suggest. LIE! Yep. LIE!

Just tell everyone you were really really sick and had gas. I told my M & FIL that one year. I was so sick of the dog hair, the dirty crumbs table, the smells, the people, the inane chatter, the cig smoke clinging to him, the chaos - that I went into the "guest room" and hid for hours. I got reamed for not saying so. So I called my MIL after the fact and was like "Oh I'm so sorry, I was so embarrassed. I had the worse gas pains and I was farting and practically POOPING myself and I smelled and I just wanted to cry, and I had to fart SO BAD and everyone was around and it was AWFUL and I had to keep holding it in and then I had cramps!!!" Of course, I totally got everyone on my side b/c after all, gas is nasty and who was going to doubt me for being in a bad mood?

LOL. Worked like a charm...
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