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Me Being a Worry Wart

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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May 13th, 2010, 12:50 PM
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 257
I just thought I would post some of my random thoughts this week. It's a kind of milestone for me. I lost my daughter back in October of last year at 20 weeks without ever knowing for sure why we lost her. It started with light bleeding at 19 weeks, but the bleeding stopped, but then started again at 20 weeks. I went to the hospital, and everything looked fine. Well, something was going on, because we lost our baby 12 hours later.

Well, now I am 19 weeks with this pregnancy, and I have a cerclage. Next week is the gender ultrasound. I have had no bleeding or any other problems. I just can't get rid of my paranoia. I keep thinking, "When is everything going to go horribly wrong again?" I check my t.p. all the time. I know it's not good for me to worry over nothing, but it's hard not to.
New Mom to a baby boy!
Big Sister 8 yo.
1 angel baby girl, 10/21/2009. 20w, 6d.
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May 13th, 2010, 01:41 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 7,676
Hunny I do the same thing.. We lost our little one at 20 weeks also right before I got pregnant with Kaetlin.. Congrats on making it this far... For me the worries never go away. When you have a loss this late in pregnancy I think you worry until you hold your baby....I am also pregnant again and I run and check my toliet paper ALL the time too.... I think that is normal for us PAL ladies... Chin up and I am sure you will be blessed with a healthy baby boy/girl in October !!!
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May 13th, 2010, 04:07 PM
jlynne's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 136
I'm so sorry for your loss. I still haven't relaxed yet during this pregnancy, and I am a little over 25 weeks. I still check the t.p. and have that cloud of fear around me. I'm not sure it will go away until I hold my little girl in August. Good luck at your next scan and know that the ladies on this board are always here for you!
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May 13th, 2010, 09:35 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,618
(((hugs))) Celia!

I am exactly the same - and my losses were all 1st trimester losses... so I can't imagine how much harder it is for you. I guess the fact is, no matter how far along you are when you experienced a loss/losses, for the entirety of future pregnancies, we worry & expect things to go wrong....

it's so hard

I hope the next week goes really fast for you, and your gender u/s gives you a truckload of reassurance, that all is well

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May 14th, 2010, 02:56 AM
baby4me?'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,592
So sorry that you are having a hard time. I feel for all you mommies who had later losses. I think it was easier for me because mine all happened pretty early so if I made it out of the first trimester I felt better. Though I I have been more nervous about everything with this pregnancy than with DD. I think it is because I know too well all the things that can happen.

Amanda & Rob married June 16, 2006

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May 14th, 2010, 07:43 AM
KDD's Avatar
KDD KDD is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 16,068
I'm sure that those of us who are pregnant after loss never really relax during pregnancy.
Missing our Angel since April 11, 2008
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