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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
July 13th, 2010, 01:29 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 2,749
HI...
i need some advice.... i really dont know what to say or do about my situation.
Frst off im NOT pregnant...but i need advice about a loss!..
My BF has 1 child with another woman. i also have 1 child with my ex....

My bf had a child with the same woman..but ended up dying from SIDs in 07. I cannot even express how much pain that even is...maybe someone can help me that been in his type of situation. I told him sorry... but i know he doesnt like to hear that.... it breaks my heart he is hurting. Although nothing i can do about it. He has talked to me some about it. And when we are talking about the kiddos ( mine & his). i'll forget about his child he lost to sids at 3 months...and the other day i was like " oh good thing you only have one" then i paused and felt horrible then added "here". i said that because our kiddos were acing up...but feel so horrible...its not the first time...but i see him and look at his eyes and almost like he will cry...it hurts alot.... what can i do?? to help? i know this is something that will be with him forever... but i care about him and dont wanna see him so much in pain. But i feel dumb for saying crap like i have.......

sigh.. any advice or thoughts would be great.......

Thanks so much.....
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  #2  
July 13th, 2010, 01:26 PM
~*Kixs*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Texas
Posts: 12,914
(((HUGS))) I am very sorry for your BF loss.

I have no experience with SID's but do know that with any loss a fathers greif is often over looked. Maybe the best thing you could do is just listen to him. And sometimes just having someone acknowledge your angel makes all the difference.

Good luck!
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  #3  
July 14th, 2010, 08:58 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 2,749
Thank you... very true... he has pictures of her around his house too. I feel for him. I let him know id talk to him about it anytime... he said thanks but not totally the same... which i understand . but i did let him know. He is a great father. I wish i could make the pain go away. Although im just there for him period.

ive never been through that or any loss so i am lost at words or what it would even feel like.....
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