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I'm c/p 2 posts here to update everyone.. (mc)

Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss


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January 6th, 2011, 08:52 AM
Celena's Avatar Proud JM hostess
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bottoming out....(mc) update 1/5 &1/6 am


So this might be it... the beginning of the end. Hpt is lighter, idk what possessed me to poas but I did... yep lighter. For being 6+ weeks is think it should be dark.

I'm freezing cold literally. I have no one right now.


Not much to tell, they did an abdominal u/s with this little machine... at first the NP thought she saw something, but went to get the Dr. Dr tried a little different angle. Told her my uterus is tilted and she said oh wow your cervix IS really tilted. And she had a hard time seeing anything, but a halo and says she saw a sac. I saw nothing, she pointed out the halo and the dark spot she said is the sac but it was so hard to see. Said the t/v u/s should show allot more. I'm not holding my breath... she had me get betas... They were both trying to convince me everything is fine, that maybe I'm not as far along as I think and perhaps I'm only 4, 5 weeks. Told them that I track my cycles with opk's and temping/charting so it's impossible the dates were wrong. Then dr says well it can take a week to implant to which I replied I got faint positives on hpt's at 10/11 dpo.

I've been peeing allot, RN did a urine dip stick and told me to remind her on thursday for the urine culture guess there might be some bacteria she saw on the dip stick she wants to further investigate.

I'm cramping, but I cannot tell if it's just my bladder or if it's my uterus. I kinda think it's the later tho

No matter how this ends up, we're DONE ttc.

Thank you so much Missy for updating, just wish I had a little more to update and perhaps something more optimistic. I'm sorry ladies...

BTW, Imeant to say how wonderful you all are... cannot believe the amount of love, thoughts and prayers. I thank you all so much... so so so much!

01/05 UPDATE

Definitely going to lose babe, levels dropped allot. There's no hope. Still going for u/s and appt in the am tomorrow to see whats going on. I'm so pissed off I cant even cry today and I'm ******* stuck at work

01/06 update

I'm starting to bleed bright red blood and very painful cramps.

Appt in 2hrs (mc)


*** am I going to do until then?

Having an u/s still and then appt following, not looking forward to the obvious outcome. DUH, I know I'm losing this baby. Just hope it was in my uterus and NOT in my tube. My husband tells me not to even think about that until THEY tell me something not me speculating. Sorry if i'm just trying to metally prepare myself. I never thought it would come to this again, at least I *hoped* not. There was a day when things just felt different and that's sorta when I knew something wasn't right no matter how I tried to convince myself that it was just the fear, worries, anxities creeping in again.

I feel horrible because I got scared, thinking about after the baby were to come and how things would be... feel guilty like I scared the baby's soul away. I know how crazy that sounds, but that's just how I feel like a huge spiritual connection is made even before conception occurs.

I'm going to ask the dr to test me for pelvic inflammatory disease, and if need be do the surgery and give me the courses of antibiotics to cure it. I did some reading on it. I really don't want to lose my fertility, it's already reduced 50% but I'm thankful to have at least half of it... my RE made me aware of how some ladies have 5-10% but she's gotten THEM pregnant!

Think if anything DH's sperm needs to be tested, it's 125- for an SA reguardless of what we decide as far as ttcal I think he needs it done.

I'm waiting for the RE's office to call me so I can pick up copies of all my lab work and procedures to take with me for my appt. Just hope they don't give me any **** over it or try to charge me. Told her that I WANT TO SEE IT ALL AS WELL not just them faxing it. I WANT COPIES, they're not going to push me aside on this one.
07/30/[email protected] 03.23.10 08/21/[email protected] EDD 04.21.10 02/08/[email protected] EDD 09.17.10
01/07/[email protected] 6wks3ds EDD 08.28.2011 7/ /11 @6wks5ds EDD 02.27.12

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January 7th, 2011, 05:34 AM
Mommy2Makenna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,070

I'm so sorry! Life is just not FAIR!!!! I'm crying here with you.
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January 7th, 2011, 09:31 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Celena, honey, i'm so very very sad for you. I agree, life is so unfair. I'm sincerely praying that you never go through this again, and that you get as many rainbow babies as you want from here on out.

I also hope your dr's office doesn't give you any grief over your paperwork!

Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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January 9th, 2011, 02:55 PM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Sunny California
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Oh Celena.......It breaks my heart to hear this..............I'm so sorry.....

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January 10th, 2011, 08:07 AM
MissMoto's Avatar Web & Graphic Designer
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Location: Michigan
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I am so sorry. Prayers are with you.
*** Kristina ♡ Rob ***
Roxie Marie {2.29.08} *** Eden Margaret {7.26.09}

*** Robert Charles III {5.24.11} ***
Expecting Vanna Marjorie or Abel Alexander in August 2015!
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January 10th, 2011, 09:30 AM
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 118
I understand your anger. I hope you get some answers that provide you some relief and help. Don't ever feel guilty for your emotions about this. It's horrible to go through and have to deal with.

Make a pregnancy ticker
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January 10th, 2011, 11:12 PM
Natalie_Snow's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,247
I am so sorry Celena {MASSIVE HUGS} thinking of you!
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January 16th, 2011, 06:37 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1
I am so so so sorry Celena. I wish I could help - fix it all. ((((hugs))) I was really hoping to come back to a happy ending for you.

Thank you Kiliki for my first beautiful Siggie!

mom of 2 angels and an earth baby
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